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FLYING FOR DUMMIES

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by TDI-line, Sep 15, 2005.

  1. TDI-line
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    TDI-line Uber Post Whore

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    >> FLYING FOR DUMMIES
    >>
    >> 1. Every take-off is optional. Every landing is mandatary.
    >>
    >> 2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull
    >> the
    >> stick back, they get smaller. That is unless you keep pulling the stick
    > all the way back, then they get bigger again.
    >>
    >>
    >> 3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is.
    >>
    >> 4. It is better to be down here wishing you were up there, than up
    >> there
    >> wishing you were down here.
    >>
    >> 5. The only time you have too much fuel is when you are on fire.
    >>
    >> 6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep
    > the pilot cool. If it stops, watch the pilot sweat.
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >> 7. When in doubt, increase your altitude. No one has ever collided with
    >> the sky.
    >>
    >> 8. A good landing is one from which you can walk away. A "great"
    >> landing
    >> is one after which they can use the plane again.
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >> 9. You know you have landed with the wheels up if it takes full power
    >> to
    >> taxi to the terminal.
    >>
    >> 10. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle
    > of arrival.
    >>
    >> 11. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to
    > five minutes earlier.
    >>
    >> 12. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining might be another aeroplane.
    >> Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide
    >> there.

    >> 13. Always try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number
    > of your take-offs.
    >>
    >> 14. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience.
    > The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of
    > luck.

    >> 15. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, experience
    > usually comes from bad judgment.
    >>
    >> 16. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminium going
    > hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the
    > ground has
    >> yet to loose.

    >> 17. Helicopters can't fly, they're just so ugly the Earth repels them.
    >>
    >> 18. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward.
    >>
    >> 19. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.
    >>
    >> 20. Gravity is not just a good idea, it's a law. And not subject to
    >> appeal.
    >>
    >> 21. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above
    >> you,
    >> the runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago.
    #1
  2. Khufu
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    Khufu Active Member

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    nice one /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif
    #2
  3. jdp1962
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    jdp1962 Grumpy Old Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    Heheheh! Nice one, TDI.
    #3
  4. hop2407
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    hop2407 Active Member

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    Excellent matey..... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ok.gif
    #4
  5. fallmonk
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    fallmonk Turbo Sport

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    Class mate will never look at a airplane in the same way !
    #5
  6. m_o_w_g_l_i
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    m_o_w_g_l_i Member

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    Another one: No matter how short of fuel you are, you always have enough to get to the scene of the crash.
    #6
  7. ColinM
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    ColinM Member

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    Flying into an international airport, you pick up the actual weather conditions through a thing called ATIS. It changes every half hour and is prefixed with a letter so you know you've got the latest info. Starts at A, B, C etc. Using the phonetic alphabet, you must tell the controller you have "Information Delta" etc to confirm with him you know the pressure setting etc.

    Going into Miami a light aircraft pilot had no experience of this and when the controller asked "Confirm you have (information) Hotel", he replied "No, I'm staying with friends".
    #7
  8. FactionOne
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    FactionOne Administrator Staff Member Administrator

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    It's like the Aer Lingus captain who joined the STAR for 24R at Manchester, and the approach controller asked him to confirm his height and position...



    "I'm tree foot six and I'm at de frunt"

    Regards,

    Rob.
    #8
  9. FactionOne
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    FactionOne Administrator Staff Member Administrator

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    PS.....>

    Can anybody guess the name Aer Lingus gave their simulator?...



    St. Thetic

    Regards,

    Rob.
    #9

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