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DVLA Nazi Fatherless children

jcb Jun 18, 2009

  1. jcb

    jcb Active Member VCDS Map User

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    came home to this!

    [​IMG]

    DVLA clamping unit left a nice note saying I was not displaying a valid disc.
    Whats this then?! ******* ham sandwich!?

    [​IMG]

    rang the DVLA hotline,
    "Computer says No"

    Apparently my disc is a duplicate, they have paid out a refund in October 2008 and cancelled mine the same day. So nine months later having renewed my insurance, driven through the London Congestion charge zone at least 6 times both of which have databases linked to the DVLA on unlicensed vehilces,.......a random drive by unit happens to drive down my street and flags up my car on the auto number recognition system. Does that smell like bullshit or is it just me.
    At 9 months ago I don't even remember why I would have got a duplicate! driving me nuts

    The worst bit is it happend at 4.50pm, shuts at 5pm. did catch them but they won't give me any details of when, how much or to whom they paid the refund, I have to fax them my current disc details as they don't even have that one on record!!
    If they have no obligation to show that I received the payment and can cancel a valid disc then I am f@cked!
    I face the prospect of a £200 unclamping fee and another £186 for a tax disc. nice.

    and I was having such a lucky week. Had a death in the family, a disaster at work today and now this!. **** comes in threes. best go an buy a lottery ticket as this run of **** can't continue.

    I am so tempted to go outside with the Stihl saw chop the f@cking boot off and ring back in the morning to say. "wow, you guys are quick, when did you take the clamp off?"

    b@stards!
     
  2. Oranoco

    Oranoco Well-Known Member

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    The DVLA are an absolute shower of **** to deal with. :(
     
  3. rasA4

    rasA4 Four Rings Mafia Specialist Team V6 Audi A4 saloon

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    nice car jcb, unfu*kinbelieveable with the clamp though. hopefully it will get sorted out v.soon
     
  4. Siena

    Siena Active Member

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    If that nasty yellow triangle was fitted to my car, and I could prove my car was displaying a valid tax disc, then I'd slice the damn thing off, and bin it.

    They'd have a hard time proving I was the person that removed it - am I a clamp watchman?
     
  5. griswold

    griswold Member

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    Thats Bad.
    Saw a TV show maybe watchdog? about removing clamps that had been put on illeagally. There was a demonstration by some guy on how to remove them he has a website on it worth a look, i'm not saying you should remove it though.

    Lets hope its their mistake and you dont have to pay a fine.
    Just keep an eye on those alloys when it gets removed they look nice.
     
  6. sam4191

    sam4191 If In doubt, Flat out!

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    :banghead:ARGH! This has just frustrated me so much! Let alone you! Sorry to hear about the bad week!

    Trouble is, when we are 'wrong', these ******** are quick enough to jump on us. Though they won't ever admit being Wrong themselves!

    I hope you get this sorted quick! And that you get an appology!
     
  7. jcb

    jcb Active Member VCDS Map User

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    ha, talk about swinging emotions.

    having calmed down and stopped punching at anyone within arms reach I went out to check the wankers hadn't damaged the paint.

    there is a god.
    and more than one reason to run 8.5" wheels with 245mm tyres wound down on coilovers!

    the clamp monkey couldn't get his hand in to push the chain round the back of the wheel, no room for his hand and no room for the chain.
    it pretty much fell off!! no stihl saw required.

    [​IMG]



    I may even consider returning it to them if the pay my £200 release fee.
    Now to blow up the DVLA.
    Got my car back, all I need now is a boot full of cemtex!!
     
  8. sam4191

    sam4191 If In doubt, Flat out!

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    5th Gear I think, with Vicky Butler-Henderson?

    Yeah! Make sure the wheels is ok!

    HA! JCB! Thats legend!
     
  9. griswold

    griswold Member

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    Glad it just fell off!!! park somewhere else in case they come back till you sort it.

    5th gear was the show my memory is bad, nice one sam
     
  10. Broken Byzan

    Broken Byzan Photographic Moderator Staff Member Moderator VCDS Map User quattro Audi A4

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    OMG What tossers. I hope the mistake turns out to be theirs and that they can re validate your disc for you.

    It's amazing how that clamp fell off overnight isn't it???
    I remember when they walked onto my dads drive and clamped his car. My dad had to prove it was his drive and that the only reason it was "unlicensed was waiting for the disability to sort out the crossover of tax refund/to free tax. It wasn't like he was even using it either. Anyway, after proving without a doubt it was their fault they came out with an hour and stealtily removed the clamp and dissapeared as quickly as they had appeared
     
  11. Foxmeister

    Foxmeister Fired Up!

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    I'd now be obliged to throw the clamp to f@!k!!!! Their loss!
     
  12. Adam-D

    Adam-D Member

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    hide the car, weigh the clamp in, in a few weeks. :)
     
  13. quattrojames

    quattrojames Moderator Staff Member Moderator Audi A6 Audi Avant Owner Group

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    Lol I was 5 hours late home from work and was reading that as I bolted down my tea - it made my day they couldn't even put it on properly and you just took it off!

    :superman:
     
  14. dsmclark40v

    dsmclark40v Member

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    Nightmare mate, I can remember when I had just bought a car once and the tax only had less than a month left. when I went to renew it the dvla computer said it still had 3 months left! I had to go and get the disc out of the car to prove to them it hadn't so I could renew it as I didn't want to get done for failure to display.
    As for the clamp you should go and hand it in to the lost property at the police station and say you found it otherwise they could do you for stealing the clamp! and aslong as it isn't damaged they can't do you for vandalising it to remove it.
    Nice grill by the way!
    Sam
     
  15. jcb

    jcb Active Member VCDS Map User

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    I am going to stick it on eBay!!
    anyone want some scrap!!?

    nah, I "found" it lying next to my car, honest. "must have been the students upstairs. cheeky monkeys!"
     
  16. aragorn

    aragorn "Stick a V8 in it!" Staff Member Moderator VCDS Map User

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    Get onto BBC Watchdog. They've been running a thing for a while now about the DVLA's incompetence, including situations similar to the one Paul mentioned where they lost the details that the person has ever held a driving licence.

    JCB: Its not illegal to remove the clamp, so long as you dont damage it or destroy it. Selling it or weighing it in will only land you a bill for a new clamp, and presumably possible charges for theft or whatever.
     
  17. Lee Goodall

    Lee Goodall Active Member

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    DVLA monkeys strike again.. it's amazing the amount of errors they get away with. If it was any other company they'd be long gone by now!!
     
  18. jcb

    jcb Active Member VCDS Map User

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    you know that was a joke right? ;)
     
  19. audinary

    audinary Complete And Utter Member

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    I am often staggered by the DVLA and their lack of attention to detail. I deal with lots of vehicle logbooks at work and it is a rare V5 indeed which has all the details correct.

    My favourite was the SL55 AMG powered by Heavy Oil.
     
  20. Oranoco

    Oranoco Well-Known Member

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    Glad it just fell off but before E-Baying it or weighing it in I must advise you that if you don't offer to return it they may well persue you for theft of the clamp. They are snide useless f*cktards who seem more and more concerned with revenue rather than doing anything of use.

    I would seriously write to them (send recorded delivery) and advise them that you have their clamp and you are more than willing to return it to them once they pay a release fee of £X. Also advise them that if this is not paid withing X days you will start adding storage costs at £X a day.

    Good luck mate. And remember if they get shirty about it call a couple of the red top news papers as they love this sort of story so you may get a couple of quid back from it.
     
  21. docurley

    docurley Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    What W**kers is all I can say and I know they have no idea on how to fit them check mine out, they managed to get one of the chains round the control arm but not the top one so it was on the floor being driven over by other cars.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     
  22. jcb

    jcb Active Member VCDS Map User

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    I love coilovers!
    saved me £100!
     
  23. docurley

    docurley Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    LOL
     
  24. dieselfitter251

    dieselfitter251 Blow ma own trumpet?

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    Interesting to see what comes of the 'refunded tax disc' . Glad the twats messed up with the clamp. You should find a DVLA vehicle, invest in a couple of cheap but sturdy chains and padlocks and show them how it should be done, (when they're not looking) and clamp their van. Then take pictures and or video, post it to Youtube and then contact fifth gear, or post it to you tube. That would make my whole year!
     
  25. jcb

    jcb Active Member VCDS Map User

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    well, all sorted.

    am now a licensed vehicle again. turns out it was a sort of shared cock up on both our parts and as they didn't rectify it 9 months ago and I have effectively had 9 months of driving tax free I am not really going to kick up too much of a fuss! especially as the car was never really clamped.

    spoke to the clamp people, said "your clamp is lying next to my car, still locked and intact, undamaged and I can't say what has happened, must have been overnight"

    his response: "throw it in a skip"
    I said "scuse me!?"
    he said: "listen mate we lose more clamps than I can keep track of, there are so many people that just chop them off there are too many to prosecute so they just get away with it! its not on your car there is f- all we can do about it as we can't enforce a car that doesn't have a clamp on it"
    I said "I would rather you came a took it away"
    he said...now get this!!! " if you want to drop it off at our depot by the airport and just stick it under the fence then you could do that"

    ha ha, yes like that is going to happen. what am I a delivery service for muppets who can't close a padlock!?


    so there you have it.
    everyone carry a stihl saw in the boot! it is no longer a crime.

    I now have my own personal clamp (albeit locked!) and a set of official looking "untaxed vehicle!! do not move the vehicle" papers. just need to replace the lock with one I can lock and unlock.
    I can see an amusing jape happening to someone soon! my local councillor, the 'cking students upstairs, the traffic warden delivery van......oo the list is endless!

    watch this space. see some midnight tomfoolery coming!!
     
  26. voorhees

    voorhees Moderator Staff Member Moderator Team V8 Audi S5 s tronic

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    glad its come good,they truly are toosers though.

    just thought I'd add a workmate has a vectra v6 petrol and the V5 come thru saying vectra 2.5 petrol dti !!
     
  27. RyanJonS4

    RyanJonS4 Drive It Like You Stole It

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    I'd be dubious still about him telling you to throw it in a skip!
    I think (may be wrong though) the law says you can remove it aslong as you dont damage it, but you have to return it to its rightful owner.
    May be worth looking into as once your rid of it, by whichever way, other than the official route, they will have you by the boliocks!
     
  28. rasA4

    rasA4 Four Rings Mafia Specialist Team V6 Audi A4 saloon

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    Glad its all sorted jcb
     
  29. disley

    disley Member

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    you need one of these...:p
    [​IMG]
     
  30. BBSparky

    BBSparky Amateur Spanner Monkey

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    Could you not get a new padlock and then basically you can park wherever you want! just pull up, put the clamp on your own car and hey presto! free parking :D
     
  31. NHN

    NHN Retrofitter - Audi - VW - Skoda - Seat Site Sponsor VCDS Map User

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    I like the thought process
     
  32. jcb

    jcb Active Member VCDS Map User

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    I love that!
    I am just going to chop the lock off and get a new one, even gave a rub down with cellulose thinners so it has no markings on it anymore.
    think the traffic wardens round here will have no problem sticking another ticket on your car even it is clamped and has DVLA **** all over the window.
    ******** gave me three in three days parked in front of my own garage!
     
  33. jcb

    jcb Active Member VCDS Map User

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    new home for the wheel clamp! Safe!

    [​IMG]
     
  34. dieselfitter251

    dieselfitter251 Blow ma own trumpet?

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    Is that your trailer? Sweet!
     
  35. jcb

    jcb Active Member VCDS Map User

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    yep, on ebay at the moment
     
  36. aragorn

    aragorn "Stick a V8 in it!" Staff Member Moderator VCDS Map User

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    mmm i need me a trailer like that, unfortunately the missus doesnt have a trailer licence, so we couldnt actually tow it :(
     
  37. jcb

    jcb Active Member VCDS Map User

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    a trailer what? license?
    never had one myself. that probably comes under the category of "mm heard you need one, must get round to that!"


    actually just googled it:
    http://www.autow.co.uk/smmt/trailer_restrictions/driving_licence.aspx

    you shoudl be fine so long as you are not towing pregnant elephants

    want it? £900 and its yours, thats a £50 saving on the Buy It Now Fleabay price.
    Will even deliver it .......
     
  38. aragorn

    aragorn "Stick a V8 in it!" Staff Member Moderator VCDS Map User

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    It goes on the plated weight unfortunately.

    So to hitch a trailer with a 3500kg MAM like yours up to anything you need +E on your licence. People who passed their test after 1997 dont get +E automatically any more, it requires a seperate test.

    You've probably already got it, assuming you passed before 1997.

    no +E means that you can pull a small unbraked trailer, or most single axle caravans behind most normal cars, without too much trouble, but if your towing with a large vehicle, or a large trailer you will run afoul of the regulations.

    Once i get my licence back i'll be going for the +E test, it comes in superuseful when your into various automotive projects to be able to pull a car transporter!
     
  39. jcb

    jcb Active Member VCDS Map User

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    old fuckers like me have all the fun!!
    1990!!
     

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