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Dont tell these to you kids

Discussion in 'Jokes, Games & Humour' started by silver75, Dec 6, 2006.

  1. silver75
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    silver75 Big Ron

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    Nursery rhymes uncut

    MARY HAD A LITTLE PIG,
    She kept it fat and plastered;
    And when the price of pork went up,
    She shot the little bastard.

    MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
    Her father shot it dead.
    Now it goes to school with her,
    Between two hunks of bread

    JACK AND JILL Went up the hill
    To have a little fun.
    Stupid Jill forgot the pill
    And now they have a son.

    SIMPLE SIMON met a Pie man going to the fair.
    Said Simple Simon to the Pie man,
    "What have you got there?"
    Said the Pie man unto Simon,
    "Pies, you dumb sod

    HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall,
    Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
    All the kings' horses,
    And all the kings' men.
    Had scrambled eggs,
    For breakfast again.

    HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle,
    All over the bedside clock.
    The little dog laughed to see such fun,
    Then died of electric shock.

    GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie,
    Kissed the girls and made them cry.
    And when the boys came out to play,
    He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.

    THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL who had a little curl
    Right in the middle of her forehead.
    When she was good, she was very, very good.
    But when she was bad........
    She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.
    #1
  2. DPM
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    DPM Site Sponsor Site Sponsor

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    Mary had a little lamb... I had egg and chips!
    #2
  3. OutLore
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    OutLore VOIP Dude

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    Old Mother Hubbard,
    Went to the cupboard,
    To fetch old Rover a bone.

    But, when she bent over,
    Rover came over,
    And gave her a bone of his own.:sex:
    #3
  4. Ben_yo
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    Ben_yo Going places - just not sure where!

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    Mary had a little lamb,
    she kept it in a bucket.
    Everywhere she took it,
    her dog tried to f**k it! :keule:
    #4
  5. voorhees
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    voorhees Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    mary had a little pig
    she couldn't stop it grunting
    so she took it down the garden path and kicked the little c**t in
    #5

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