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Don't slam the door darling

Discussion in 'A6/S6/Allroad forum (C5 Chassis)' started by Delboy73, Nov 14, 2012.

  1. Delboy73
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    Delboy73 New Member

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    [Nov 14, 2012]
    My girlfriend has the touch( but thankfully not the rear end) of an elephant.
    Every time she shuts the passenger Door of my a6 it rebounds and fails to fully shut.
    To close the door you have to very very gently push the door closed.
    She doesn't posses this light touch so to save our relationship and my sanity does anyone have any advice?
    Not on heavy handed partners but door catches. Thank you.
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  3. BradHatton
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    BradHatton Member

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    [Nov 14, 2012]
    Tell her to stop slamming it. My girlfriend did the same the other day I could have killed her...
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  4. CHEZ
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    CHEZ moderately amusing Supporter

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    [Nov 14, 2012]
    tell her if she does not stop it she is banned!
    give her 3 strikes!
    worked for the wife, she respects my car now!....... (after a short ban) :arco:
    #3
  5. lgooch
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    lgooch Active Member

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    [Nov 14, 2012]
    Same here. I hate it. You would think she was trying to shut the door of an old Austin allegro.
    #4
  6. CHEZ
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    CHEZ moderately amusing Supporter

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    [Nov 14, 2012]
    exhibit A!
    (i aint lying)
    this was from over a year ago............. she never slammed a door since!

    I HAVE FINALLY BANNED THE WIFE FROM MY CAR......

    As the title suggests,
    the story is as follows!
    i purchased my car about a year ago after falling in love with it! i felt the build quality was fantastic and the car had been looked after!
    so, soon after, when collecting the wife from work etc when she was getting in and out of my car she constantly decided to slam my doors!
    i explained " this is an audi dear, and the doors do not have to be slammed" as they basically close themselves!
    to which she replied " sorry, i didn"t realise i was slamming the doors dear!"
    this theme continued for about 5 or 6 times and was slowly driving me up the wall with her ignorance/forgetfullness!
    so the next time she did it, i warned her in a serious frowny face, that she has 3 more door slamming incidents and then she is banned from my car!
    feeling that i had proved to her the magnitude of my problem verbally, i thought the issue had been put to bed!
    but no...............................................
    over the following months she did get better at learning the nack of closing my doors rather than slamming them like an old transit van, but sadly there was still the stray incident when she would really "pull it off the hinges!"
    she shortly recieved strike 1, first warning if you will!
    this quickly esculated to strike 2 when she was rushing, and there were numerous incidents i turned a blind eye (or ear) as i feel these were accidental or i was in a good mood!
    soon, these warnings finally reached strike 3! transport critical mode! aka get the bus syndrome!
    so for the last few months, the mrs has been on her last final warning!, and i felt that finally she had become to appreciate the audi and that my car really did matter!
    then today, all of this got blown out of the water! quite literally the sh!t hit the fan!
    on collecting the wife from work, everything went smoothly and on plan,
    on collecting our daughter from her grans, everything appeared to be on course for an average daily commute!,
    but,
    when driving off, i turned on the climate control and adsjusted the temp to 24*, and set off,
    soon after, aprox 1 minute after, i noticed a nasty wiff in the cabin!
    i turned to my wife and asked " can you smell anything dear?"
    she replied " yes darling, i can smell poo"
    my stomach churned!
    i found a safe place to pull over and have footwear check!
    baby, all clear! me, nope, my lovely white dc trainers were still box fresh and dapper!
    wife, oh dear! boots smeared in peanut butter that just did not smell like peanut butter!
    hmmmmmmmm! i thought how jolly upsetting!
    i instructed my wife to remove the offending boot, and i placed in a carrier bag in the boot!
    no appology at this point was given by my wife i must add!
    after disposing of mentioned boot, i turned my attention to the fully tailored car mat that the offending article was resting on!
    and sure enough, caked in peanut butter colour k9 faeces of unknown origin!
    i unclipped my mat and placed this in the boot also!
    again, no apology was given!
    i bit angry by this i asked if my wife was willing to clean my mat for me as a gesture of good will!
    she barked back at me, " i am not cleaning that!, thats not my fault, i didn"t do it on purpose, its not my dog shizzle!"
    great i thought! i told her i knew it was not hers and indeed she did not mean to do it but the fact of the matter was, its all over my mat and somebody has to do it!
    she refused!
    i asked who was going to do it then? the fairies?
    she said she was not bothered and she was not!
    this got me agitated!, so in a frowny face suggested that i will have to do it!
    she replied " yes you will"
    well that was it! i am sorry, i can take quite a bit of rudeness, but she crossed the line right then!
    so i declared that indeed i would clean the mat
    but,
    never ever ever ever ever ever ever, EVER is she getting in my car again!
    she promptly barked back " not bothered" in a very 12 year old way that had the effect of trying to put a fire out with petrol!
    so there you go!
    one banned mrs from the audi!
    as you were............................ rant over.......................[​IMG]
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  7. Sandra
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    Sandra MODERATOR Staff Member Moderator

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    [Nov 14, 2012]
    Omg Chez, did you actually keep that rant thread. Lmao. :) x
    #6
  8. CHEZ
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    CHEZ moderately amusing Supporter

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    [Nov 14, 2012]
    lol sandra! no i just remembered posting it, searched for it and copy and pasted it!
    #7
  9. Sandra
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    Sandra MODERATOR Staff Member Moderator

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    [Nov 14, 2012]
    I hate to say this, but its even funnier second time round Chez. Was a classic thread. :) x
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  10. shariain
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    shariain Well-Known Member

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    [Nov 14, 2012]
    I would guess she also issued her own ban on you.
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  11. CHEZ
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    CHEZ moderately amusing Supporter

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    [Nov 15, 2012]
    lol! yep indeed she did!
    both bans ran for about a week! (its the making up thats fun!)
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  12. TYphoon GB
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    TYphoon GB Member

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    [Nov 16, 2012]
    In the same vein..

    [FONT=&quot]He was in ecstasy with a huge smile on his face as his wife movedforward, then backwards, forward, then backwards again, back and forth, backand forth.....[/FONT][FONT=&quot]...[/FONT][FONT=&quot]in andout...in and out.[/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]
    Her heart was pounding...her face was flushed...then she moaned, softly at first,then began to groan louder. Finally, totally exhausted, she let out an almightyscream and shouted.[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot][/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]"OK, OK! I CAN'T park the bloody car! You do it, you SMUG*******!"[/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
    #11
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