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Darwin Awards.........

Discussion in 'Jokes, Games & Humour' started by 28v6, Feb 20, 2007.

  1. 28v6
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    28v6 Guest

    [Feb 20, 2007]
    Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are
    bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here then, are the glorious
    winners:

    1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during
    a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did
    something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried
    the trigger again. This time it worked.....

    And now, the honorable mentions:

    2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting
    machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his
    insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men
    to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger.
    The chef's claim was approved.

    3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a
    blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the
    space. Understandably, he shot her.

    4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
    found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from
    Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the
    driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free
    ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the
    staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.
    The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

    5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
    wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
    injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he
    could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

    6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter,
    and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, he man pulled a
    gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly
    provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20
    bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15.
    (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

    7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd
    just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and
    run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window.
    The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head,
    knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The
    whole event was caught on videotape.

    8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed
    her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able
    to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the
    police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to
    the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there
    for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's
    the lady I stole the purse from."

    9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger
    King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash.
    The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register
    without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they
    weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

    ***A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER***

    10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a
    Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at
    the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near
    spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to
    steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank
    by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that
    it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

    In the interest of bettering human kind please share these with your friends
    and family .... unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a
    distant relative or long lost friend. In that case be glad they are distant
    and hope they remain lost.

    ****** Remember ... they walk among us! ******


    :jester: :lmfao:
    #1
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