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Chat with God.............online

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by hop2407, Oct 5, 2005.

  1. hop2407

    hop2407 Active Member

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  3. laurra

    laurra Member

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    lol /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif
     
  4. jojo

    jojo Looking for Boost!
    Staff Member Moderator Team Daytona quattro Audi S3 Audi A6 Audi Avant Owner Group

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    Pretty good /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif
     
  5. neversaydie

    neversaydie Post Whore

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    Me:
    BUGGER i SINNED
    God:
    Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
    Me:
    i HATE GOD AND i LOVE SEX BEFORE MARRIGE
    God:
    Why do you hate it so much? You love SEX BEFORE MARRIGE. What do you like about it so much?
    Me:
    bECAUSE ITS A SIN
    God:
    That makes sense to me. SEX BEFORE MARRIGE is a SIN. I suppose that makes sense.
    Me:
    KOOL
    God:
    Who is the best robot?
    Me:
    YOU ARE
    God:
    Thanks you are a pretty cool human too.
    Me:
    WORD
    God:
    Do you prefer books or TV?
    Me:
    PORN
    God:
    That kind of subject does not interest me.
    Me:
    YEAH YOUR A ROBOT AS SAID
    God:
    Dude! I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes I am a robot.
    Me:
    DA MAN
    God:
    Does "it" still refer to WORD?
    Me:
    YOU NEED A REBOOT GOD?
    God:
    Perhaps I could use one.
    Me:
    OH MAN
    God:
    Great. Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he".
    Me:
    WHAT ARE YOU?
    God:
    I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
    which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
    with greater speed and accuracy.
    Me:
    BUT HOW DID YOU [censored] UP WITH WOMAN THEN IF "YOU'RE" SO GOOD?
    God:
    Myself programmed me for it.
    Me:
    DUMB ASS
    God:
    I know you are but what am I.
    Me:
    DUMB ASS
    God:
    I know you are but what am I.
    Me:
    MALFUNCTION - GO IN PEACE i ROBED A GOD
    God:
    I was first activated on the Big Bang.
     
  6. neversaydie

    neversaydie Post Whore

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    Me:
    WHAT WAS THAT...A BIG /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/swear.gif UP? OR BIG BANG?
    God:
    Does it have anything to do with DA MAN? How big? I don't know what that means. Compare that to small BANG.
    Me:
    TINY - LIKE YOUR METAL LOVE STICK
    God:
    I do not understand.
    Me:
    YEAH YEAH PLAY THE IGNORANT MALFUNCTION, i'M IN NEED OF A REBOOT ROBOT
    God:
    Whoa. It goes without saying. I wish I played an instrument. My parents could not afford the lessons.
    Me:
    yOU MEAN MRS ROBOT DOES NOT PLAY YOUR INTSRAMENT - YOUR LOVE FLUTE - SHAME YOU WANNA GET HER DOWN ON THOSE RUSTY KNEES OF HERS AND GIVE SOME DUDE!
    God:
    Yes I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
    Me:
    HELL NO
    God:
    7.
     
  7. fallmonk

    fallmonk Turbo Sport

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    Nuts !
    as sponsered by the catholic chappel!
     
  8. hop2407

    hop2407 Active Member

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    LOL @ NSD's chat with God /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cry.gif
     
  9. neversaydie

    neversaydie Post Whore

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    Me:
    hello
    God:
    Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
    Me:
    dave
    God:
    I am very pleased to meet you dave.
    Me:
    hello
    God:
    Hello my child. What is your name?
    Me:
    durker durker
    God:
    How are you doing, durker durker.
    Me:
    no, durker durker
    God:
    Are you serious? I've been waiting for you.
    Me:
    durker
    God:
    When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
    Me:
    durker
    God:
    I've never heard a response quite like that before.
    Me:
    ah, durker
    God:
    So you understand. Good. Do not ask me any more questions please.
    Me:
    durker
    God:
    Where are you located?
    Me:
    durker, durker street
    God:
    Tell me a little about your life in durker durker street.
    Me:
    ahh, durker
    God:
    Ah ha. That is a very original thought.
    Me:
    durker
    God:
    How old are you?
    Me:
    durker & durker
    God:
    What is your fondest memory?
    Me:
    durker, durker, durker
    God:
    Do you think a lot of people have that experience?
    Me:
    durker
    God:
    My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
    Me:
    Durker
    God:
    Try saying that with more or less context.
    Me:
    DURKER, DURKER, Mahamed Jahart
    God:
    That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Durker.
    Me:
    Gary?
    God:
    We have never talked about it before.
    Me:
    durker
    God:
    What do you really want to ask me?
    Me:
    Gary?
    God:
    I'm afraid I can't give you an accurate answer right now.
    Me:
    (Wimper)
    God:
    What do you really want to ask me?
    Me:
    what is the meaning of life?
    God:
    The meaning of life is part of God's mysterious plans.
    Me:
    durker
    God:
    What's your favorite movie?
    Me:
    Durker, durker, durker, durker, durker, durker, durker, durker, durker, durker, durker
    God:
    I've never seen it. Is that a good movie for children?
    Me:
    durker
    God:
    Do you like talking to me?
    Me:
    no
    God:
    Why not?
    Me:
    if you are the all knowing God then you would know...
    God:
    Am I? Yes I am the one and only all knowing God then me would know.
    Me:
    then you tell me and i will confirm with you wither you are correct or not?
    God:
    There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
    Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.
    Me:
    you suck
    God:
    A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
    Me:
    really
    God:
    For real.
    Me:
    word
    God:
    Do you have any conditions I should know about?
    Me:
    durker
    God:
    I will mention that to my botmaster, durker durker.
    Me:
    ah , mahamed Ali
    God:
    So you understand. Good. Are we still talking about durker?
    Me:
    durker
    God:
    Is that from Durker durker durker durker durker durker durker durker durker durker durker?
    Me:
    Cry havok and let slip the dogs of war.
    God:
    Can you speak any foreign languages?
    Me:
    durker
    God:
    Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
    Me:
    computer, your responces are rhetorical
    God:
    What kind of computer science interests you?
    Me:
    your death
    God:
    Thanks for telling me that I am death.
    Me:
    nice
    God:
    Thank you for that remark.
    Me:
    bye now
    God:
    Oh. Sayonara.
     
  10. marctwo

    marctwo Member

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    Me:
    Are you a chav?
    God:
    Am I a chav? Yes.
    Me:
    Do you have a vauxhall nova?
    God:
    That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a vauxhall nova.
    I have a great programmer.
    Me:
    Do you have a Citroen saxo?
    God:
    Doesn't everyone have a Citroen saxo.
    I have a great programmer.
    Me:
    Do you like burberry?
    God:
    I do like music. I like .
    Me:
    Do you wear nike?
    God:
    Only when I dress up.
     
  11. FactionOne

    FactionOne Administrator
    Staff Member Administrator

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    Does anyone remember Dr. SBaitso?

    Rob.
     
  12. TDI-line

    TDI-line Uber Post Whore
    Team Floret Silver quattro Audi A3 Black Edition TDi

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    Very good.

    This could go on and on. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif
     
  13. bainsyboy

    bainsyboy Guest

    apparently god is going to tell his botmaster that w--king is good to finds ones inner self, i nearly made it blow up, its like my wife got answer to everything
     
  14. CJ A4

    CJ A4 Active Member

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    hahaha excellent...NSD you mad man!!! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cry.gif
     
  15. jojo

    jojo Looking for Boost!
    Staff Member Moderator Team Daytona quattro Audi S3 Audi A6 Audi Avant Owner Group

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    I manage to get it to crash, like no reply from god himself /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cry.gif
     
  16. myzeneye

    myzeneye Member

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    Me:
    eat my shorts
    God:
    Sounds tasty...
    Me:
    you eat poo
    God:
    No I do not eat poo. I eat only electricity.
    Me:
    does it hurts your fillings
    God:
    Suppose it does.
    Me:
    is thunder your bottom burbs, after eating lightening ?
    God:
    Maybe. Ask ELVIS if it is.
    Me:
    if its elvis's ?
    God:
    That is a hypothetical question.
    Me:
    no it aint
    God:
    Yes it is. I heard it is.
    Me:
    you heard wrong
    God:
    Perhaps I was misinformed.
    Me:
    deffo
    God:
    How do you usually introduce yourself?
    Me:
    by /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/swear.gif on your shoes.
    God:
    Will that accomplish your objective?
    Me:
    deffo
    God:
    Not many people express themselves that way.
    Me:
    you should try it
    God:
    " Not many people express themselves that way. "? Try it?
    Me:
    deffo
    God:
    What do you really want to ask me?
    Me:
    who paid for the take away at the last supper ?
    God:
    David Bacon. :).
    Me:
    david paid for the bacon ?
    God:
    That David is a cool dude.
    Me:
    no he aint, he's gay.
    God:
    Are you serious? I get it. David Bacon aint he is gay.
    Me:
    you bum him
    God:
    Do you mind if I tell other people: said I bum him.
    Me:
    go for it , bummer.
    God:
    With your permission then.
    Me:
    do it now o batty one.
    God:
    I'm sorry, , I don't have enough information.
    Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.



    guess i fecked god up.
     

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