1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Cars & Computers

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by joost, Mar 18, 2006.

  1. joost
    Offline

    joost Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2005
    Messages:
    1,169
    Likes Received:
    0
    For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

    At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the automobile industry, and stated, “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon”.

    In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

    If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics :
    1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
    2. Every time they repainted the white lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
    3. Occasionally your car would die on the motorway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all the windows, shut off the car, re-start it, and re-open the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
    4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to re-start, in which case you would have to re-install the engine.
    5. Mackintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive – but would run only on five percent of the roads.
    6. The oil, water, temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single “This Car Has Performed an Illegal Operation” warning light.
    7. The airbag system would ask “ Are You Sure?” before deploying.
    8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio aerial.
    9. Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
    10. You'd have to press the “Start” button to turn the engine off.

    /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif
    #1
  2. CJ A4
    Offline

    CJ A4 Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2004
    Messages:
    2,664
    Likes Received:
    0
    Very funny /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/lol.gif
    #2
  3. fallmonk
    Offline

    fallmonk Turbo Sport

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2004
    Messages:
    1,857
    Likes Received:
    4
    Scarley TRUE! ,
    #3
  4. madvw
    Offline

    madvw Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2005
    Messages:
    2,488
    Likes Received:
    2
    v. good..v.good...
    #4
  5. god_thats_quick
    Offline

    god_thats_quick Numptie of the highest order

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2004
    Messages:
    2,507
    Likes Received:
    1
    LOL - that's a goodun!
    #5
  6. tracer
    Offline

    tracer '96 a4 1.8 se

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2005
    Messages:
    266
    Likes Received:
    1
    very good, .like no7
    #6
  7. Khufu
    Offline

    Khufu Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2003
    Messages:
    5,703
    Likes Received:
    30
    all good, no.10 never occured to me before!!!
    #7
  8. S3Steve
    Offline

    S3Steve Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2005
    Messages:
    1,592
    Likes Received:
    11
    Haha /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
    #8

Share This Page