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Cars & Computers

joost Mar 18, 2006

  1. joost

    joost Active Member

    For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

    At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the automobile industry, and stated, “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon”.

    In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

    If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics :
    1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
    2. Every time they repainted the white lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
    3. Occasionally your car would die on the motorway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all the windows, shut off the car, re-start it, and re-open the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
    4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to re-start, in which case you would have to re-install the engine.
    5. Mackintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive – but would run only on five percent of the roads.
    6. The oil, water, temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single “This Car Has Performed an Illegal Operation” warning light.
    7. The airbag system would ask “ Are You Sure?” before deploying.
    8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio aerial.
    9. Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
    10. You'd have to press the “Start” button to turn the engine off.

  2. CJ A4

    CJ A4 Active Member

    Very funny /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/lol.gif
  3. fallmonk

    fallmonk Turbo Sport

    Scarley TRUE! ,
  4. madvw

    madvw Active Member

    v. good..v.good...
  5. god_thats_quick

    god_thats_quick Numptie of the highest order

    LOL - that's a goodun!
  6. tracer

    tracer '96 a4 1.8 se

    very good, .like no7
  7. Khufu

    Khufu Well-Known Member

    all good, no.10 never occured to me before!!!
  8. S3Steve

    S3Steve Active Member VCDS Map User

    Haha /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

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