1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Brushes with the law

MushroomMan May 2, 2003

  1. MushroomMan

    MushroomMan Sucemabite

    I had a lucky one last week. Coming back from London, the M1 was closed around Luton so decided to hit the A5. I was making use of the phantom centre lane (why did Nanny delete them) and overtaking a line of sluggards @ 85-90kph, when suddenly in my rear view appears PC Outraged, driving his unmarked white Peugeot 406. Sure enough the blue lights flash, silens screech, he pulls me over and proceeds out of his vehicle in a northerly direction towards the S3. I'm sitting there trying to remember how many points I've got, whether they drop off after three or four years and watching that b'stard caravan I tried to nail disappear over the prow.

    "Do you know what the speed limit is on this road, Sir?" came the predictable question.
    "The national speed limit?" I enquired politely.
    "That's correct, Sir. 60mph. You were doing 90."

    I didn't lower myself with a pathetic excuse, waiting for the inevitable "You do not have to say anything but it may harm your defence blah blah blah". But no. He simply said "I couldn't fault your driving except that you were going far too fast. Now slow down and take your time and we'll take this as a warning.

    I can tell you that I was so happy I put my foot down all the way back home after that. Joyous days. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/groovy.gif
  2. mramage

    mramage Member


    Sure I posted this before, but couldn't find it. Maybe on the old board. Anyone, apologies to those who've heard, but it's still quite funny...

    Many years back I was in a hurry along a 30 limit (parents car), something I very rarely do these days. Normal thing for me then though, and thought nothing of it.

    A day later I get asked by my parents about my driving that day. Turns out that a friend of my mums was behind me and saw the car in a hurry. Thinking it was my mum, they hurried to catch up for a chat.

    Now, what I didn't know was that the police has spotted me and were about to give chase when they spotted the friend going even quicker, so pulled them in instead! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/angel.gif

    I nearly laughed my ass off when I found out though. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

  3. Crafty

    Crafty Member

    Many years ago I had a Mk2 Astra 1800. Good low down torque (for a NA car anyway), no PAS so you could feel what was going on quite nicely.
    I doubt if any of you know it but M27 J7, it has a dual carriageway going off of the roundabout on a sweeping left hand bend, this straightens up and goes down beside Sainsburys. All national speed limit at the time..

    Was tooling about one night and had the car sideways round the corner, went home...

    Few nights later, got my mate in the car, "here this is what I was upto..." do exactly the same again,except when I straighten up a load of coppers run out in front of the car eek! They are doing spot checks.. "We heard you coming around the roundabout... A little foo fast don't you think ?" Says one as the others check tyres (nicely srubbed in but lots of tread), shocks etc.. "Errrm, wasn't going that fast Sir", "The tyre noise seemed to indicate otherwise.." /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif
    Most of them down here are ok "christ, you're only a nipper how do you afford this and insurance ? etc etc" So we are getting on ok but they are obviously suspicious of young nippers in quick cars.. but then...
    One says to my passenger "Whats your name and address then..."

    "Paul Smith, 128.... "

    "Pull the other one mate..."

    "No, honest, my name is Paul Smith"

    Copper looks down, paul is wearing wearing a "paul smith" jumper...

    "Got any ID?"

    "No, sorry..."

    I got a producer and paul got an ear bending for using false names! his name really is paul smith!!!
  4. amoffat

    amoffat Member

    [ QUOTE ]
    I can tell you that I was so happy I put my foot down all the way back home after that. Joyous days

    [/ QUOTE ]
    You are a very lucky man /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

    I have not been caught since 1998 (touch wood) when I was driving on the M5. I was doing 90-95 and decided to make a little space between myself and the car behind. Whilst on the phone (it was ok to do this in '98 /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif) I accelerate to 110-120 hold it for 30 secs and then slow back to 90ish. In the meantime, plod had come onto the motorway (I had not noticed cause I was on the bloody phone) and notices my acceleration /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ooo.gif, then begins to chase. Next thing I see in my rear view mirror is a bloody big 850 T5, clearly marked /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/mad.gif. Before he gets the opportunity to put the lights on, I acelerate to 190 and lose him /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif, no seriously, I pull over to the inside lane, slow and then to the hard shoulder, I knew I was nicked /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif

    I start wondering about getting banned etc, and get taken into the back seat of the Volvo. The Policeman then says the speed limit rubbish and then relief floods over me when I look at the VASCAR machine saying 89.67 mph. The policeman tells me he had to do 120 to catch me, but when he worked out the average speed I had slowed. The only reason he nicked me was because I was obviously pulling away from all the other traffic /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/devil.gif and they had no choice. He also said that they had grounds to ban me, but after a lot of apologising, I got 3 points and a £40 fine... I celebrated.

    The policeman were very nice and realistic, they said that the majority of cars where doing 90 and that they would not bother doing anything /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif. They believed the conditions were safe enough, and that I should not have been so obvious. They then helped with directions and I was on my way /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif
  5. MushroomMan

    MushroomMan Sucemabite

    Now this isn't meant to be a naughty-kid bragging contest but let me tell you something staggering that happened to me.

    In my youth I was a very bad boy and drove without a full driving licence for about seven years. I only had a provisional licence but arranged insurance (which would probably have been void) out of a perverse sense of morality. No-one checked. In that time I was stopped for speeding on two separate occasions and was asked to produce my documents twice at the police station of my choice. On each occasion I presented them at Long Eaton in Derbyshire and on each occasion PC Plod simply wrote down the details in his day book and I heard nothing more. My provisional licence was endorsed by the DVLA and at one time I had eight points on a PROVISIONAL licence.

    I decided to pass my test when I was offered a company car in 1994.

    It's given me a unique insight into the workings of the police and DVLA I can tell you.
  6. RichA3Turbo

    RichA3Turbo ...Watching you! Moderator

    Abotu an year and a half ago i got pulled for doing 50 in a 40 (was actually doing about 60)... but the po-lice were going in the opposite direction... I see then in my rear view mirror turning around just before i go over a roundabout but thought they had gone... Then see a Omega hammering it along the road with its light going... (by which time is was $hitting a brick) Pulls me over and gives usual "what was the speed limit back there".. And i actually admitted to being a little over the speed limit.
    Surprisingly, he did not fine me or a producer or anything... just told me to slow down a bit.

    Taught me a lesson tho...

  7. Mo-S3

    Mo-S3 Member

    I was returning home a bit late one evening, and joined a dual carraigeway doing about 50 in a 40, I stopped at the next lights and then hammered it away in my CRX VTEC doing about 70 in a 40. As i turn into my road the police flash me and i pull over. 2 cops get out and one starts looking over my car and the other starst lecturing me about speed and about how fast i was going. Then he stops and joins his colleague and comments on my car, about how tidy it is and nice it looks. He then comes out with a question which blows me away ...." is it fast" ? 'erm erm its ok officer' !
    Duh u caught me speeding didnt u !! Regardless though he let me go and boy did i feel gooood !! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/dancing.gif
  8. Mo-S3

    Mo-S3 Member

    Another incident i wasnt so lucky, coming back from Bolton one eveing about 12.30am i was bloody tired and wanted to get home asap. So i put my foot down and was doing 100+ but got pulled near the Trafford Centre on the M60. I ended up sitting in the back of the range rover whilst he wrote me a speeding ticket, 3 points and £60 fine for being clocked at 94, apparently he said i was maintaining a high speed so they ended up switching off their vascar. LIARS /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/fuck_you.gif
  9. Drystone

    Drystone Member

    I've only been stopped once. It was on the A66 towards Keswick in the Lake District. Me and the girlfriend were off for a dirty weekend /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif. It's a nice fast road with plenty of overtaking opportunities etc. I was driving an Astra 1.7TD at the time, hardly a rocket ship.

    Anyway I wasn't hanging around probably doing 80ish in places and overtook a couple of times once on some painted hatchings and once on double white lines /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif. Very stupid thing to do in theory but in practice I could see plenty of distance ahead and it was perfectly safe.

    After a few miles I noticed a blue Vectra behind me, thought nothing of it then just as I'd overtaken another car (legally this time) I noticed the Vectra do the same and then the blue lights appeared. I pulled over straightaway absolutely sh*tting my pants.

    He got me in his car and showed me the video, said he'd been following me for 15 miles /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif. I was crapping it even more because he started talking about doing me for dangerous driving and a possible ban. I've have never acted so humbly in my life and after fully accepting my 'mistakes' and apologising profusely he told me he was just going to give me a fixed penalty (3 points, £40 fine for overtaking on double whites). I could have kissed him (but I didn't /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif).

    Got back in my car to find my girlfriend crying her eyes out because she thought they were going to throw the book at me. Actually she paid the fine for me becuse she thought it was partly her fault because she had been goading me into overtaking! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

    I slowed down a bit after that.

  10. silvers3uk

    silvers3uk Up North

    The story starts like this:-

    Once upon a time when I didn't know any better I was belting up from Brum to my parents on my birthday. It was going to be a busy day and the girlfriend had made us late leaving due to the necissity of putting on some slap. I digress, I needed to be in Harrogate, North Yorks for midday and it was 10:30am. So I tootled up the '42, then the M1 at a steady 85kph. It was a glorious autumn day clear skies and surprisingly all the motorways had unusually light traffic. I get onto the M18, no traffic to be seen so I open up the ole girl (Saxo VTS). From the previous summers holiday in France I knew the saxo would comfortable cruise at 130kph. I had to make some time up to get to Harrogate for midday and get to my birthday celebration in time. A few miles further along the M18 I dispatched a boy racer in his Astra GTE by pressing the loud pedal a bit harder [just reinforce the point that the Saxo was chuffin fast]. I had just come to the crest of the hill on M18 where there's a very long downhill stretch when I notice a very fast moving motorcycle. I look at my speedo which was reading 120kph. Oh chuff I thought, the girlfriend looked over and said "What?". "Mm, I said, police.". A split second decision and I slowed to a law abiding 70kph, the police motorbike pulls alongside in lane 2 and gestures to pull over. "Oh sh?t" - I thought. As my previous 10 years of zero offence driving flashed before me the police office started the expected conversation. "You were exceeding the national speed limit" he said. PC14452 from South Yorkshire's finest detailed the workings of the vascar systems, which on reflection should have been interesting - I, on the otherhand, was just papping my pants. "109.7" he said. "Chuff!" I thought. "Shame it wasn't a few more miles down the road", PC14452 said," different court". That gem of knowledge didn't dawn till the magistrate from Rotherham dealt his hand 6 months later. "109.7 in a Saxo" said the magistrate/headteacher [later to be known as Maximum Dave]. I definately heard the court usher whisper to another usher "A saxo? They cant go that fast" and then proceeded to snigger. "Mr SilverS3UK, this is your first offence, a very serious one", maximum dave started to deliver his speech, "so in this respect I am banning you from driving for a period of 40 days and fining you £500"
    "Thank you, sir" I said - Chuff knows why but I did. I left the court considerably poorer (and still paying for it in my insurance) and wiser - now I only speed on the continent. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/angel.gif

    Oh, I was only 30 mins late for my birthday celebrations - which was nice.
  11. RAPS3

    RAPS3 Well-Known Member

    This one still puzzles me to this day. Picture the scene. I'm sat in McDonalds car park with my mate a good few years ago in my Astra Gte, bonnet up tinkering, I was actually winding the bleed valve up, (it was modded, turbo Cav turbo engine.) Anyway at this point a Jam Sandwitch Volvo T5 pulls into McD's. Two officers get out and give us the run down. This your car Sir, Yes Ocifer, (shi**ing myself as it was only insured as a standard Gte at the time /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked2.gif)
    This is when the strange questions start,
    "Turbo motor?" he says, Feck I'm busted I think, I'm getting done for invlaid insurance here.
    "This will be quick, is it standard or modified?"
    Oh ******** I'm in trouble now.
    "Modified" I reply.
    "Thought it was" says the Copper.
    We talk for about 10 minutes about what I've done to the car etc.
    Anyway at this point they get a shout on the radio and they're off tyres squeeling out of the car park.
    By now paranoya has set in and I jump in the car to drive home. About 10 minutes later I'm sat at some traffic lights on the duel carridgeway on the outskirts of town and guess who pulls up next to me.
    Oh feck not again I think. The window comes down and and the copper says, "go on then lets see what it goes like."
    "You joking you'll do me" I say.
    "Honestly go on, I've got a Cav Turbo and was thinking about chipping it" he says.
    Feck me this guys serious I say to my mate. ******** I thought I'm going to do it. At this point I give it a few revs the lights change and I drop the clutch.
    He stayed with me for 1st gear and then I was off, right up to 120mph, at this point I think what the hell are you doing you stupid idiot and hit the brakes. I get stopped at the next set of lights and he pulls back up next to me, "bloody hell thats quick, just make sure one of the twats dont catch you, were not all c*nts you know."

    I tell you it took me a couple of days for this to sink in.
    Oh and the same copper still drives a Traffic car. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif

    I wonder if he would like to know how fast a chipped S3 is /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/devil.gif ?
    I wonder if Traffic light grand prix's are in the Police driving training manual.
  12. bird

    bird New Member

    I twice got stopped for speeding by the same traffic copper in less than 6 months, he recognised me the second time and I got let off both times /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

    Also got stopped driving up the hard shoulder of the A34 to Oxford and got let off that time as well (though the ******* followed me to work to make sure there were no further transgressions).

    A friend got stopped and when asked his name said "Michael Jackson" which really was his name. The copper refused to believe him, threatened to arrest him and only after doing the PNC check did he back down!

Share This Page