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Bloody women....

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Welly, Dec 17, 2010.

  1. Welly
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    Welly VX220 SC Driver :)

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    This is the transcript of a conversation I have just had with the missus.

    Thought it was mildly amusing...

    *Background - Discussing the fact I am a bit Skint because it's christmas etc etc etc*


    The Girlfriend says:
    no sympathy.... lol
    you decide to spend all that on your car
    Alex says:
    Hmmmm.
    Ahh well.
    The Girlfriend says:
    one day you might learn its not all worth it....
    hopefully
    Alex says:
    Hmmm, I enjoy it. It's no different to having a horse.
    The Girlfriend says:
    i dont spend any money on the horse
    Alex says:
    You need to look after it, pay for the vets and blacksmith fees, fuel it, just so you can ride it.
    The Girlfriend says:
    yeah but you spend more than just on the stuff you HAVE to get...
    you buy things you dont need to
    Alex says:
    So you NEED new bridles, coats etc etc etc
    You never EVER buy them because you just want a new one?
    The Girlfriend says:
    i barely ride the horse thank you!
    Alex says:
    lol
    I'm just using it as an example...
    See my point?
    All hobbies cost money
    End of.
    The Girlfriend says:
    nope
    Alex says:
    Sadly, mine is particularly expensive, but I do enjoy it
    The Girlfriend says:
    but ok
    Alex says:
    You don't see my point??!
    Are you actual retarded?


    The term 'Are you actual retarded' ended that conversation....

    Hmmmm.
    Last edited: Dec 17, 2010
    #1
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  3. <tuffty/>
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    <tuffty/> Badger 5 Edition Staff Member Moderator

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    Women.... can't live with them, can't shoot them... ;P

    <tuffty/>
    #2
  4. Dane
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    Dane Faster than a V12 Q7

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    and apparently you can't reason with them lol
    #3
  5. Welly
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    Welly VX220 SC Driver :)

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    Nope. Waste of time....
    #4
  6. fingermouse
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    fingermouse thats me

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    if it wasn`t for the obvious then men would never live with women.

    You got my vote when a horse was mentioned, they should brand them with their road tax :) about as much use as cats imo
    #5
  7. hoban81
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    hoban81 Member

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    You can live with then you just have to develop selective hearing, and just in case invest in gaffa tape.
    #6
  8. jojo
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    jojo Looking for Boost! Staff Member Moderator

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    Haha Alex, have you asked the future Father inlaw yet?
    #7
  9. crazy88
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    crazy88 Loving the anonymity

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    I actually just proper laughed at this thread, so funny! We have had the same conversation so many times (me and my wife, not your girlfriend ha). I love how bluntly you ended it though, i'm sure that didn't go down too well.

    And no, there is no reasoning with women at all. Just sex, and that makes up for everything.
    #8
  10. Welly
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    Welly VX220 SC Driver :)

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    Not yet - procrastinating and telling myself I 'haven't found the right time yet'.
    #9
  11. Welly
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    Welly VX220 SC Driver :)

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    Yarp. Blunt is the way forward. I won't be told I waste my money on the car (even though I actually do).
    #10
  12. Ads
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    Ads License to drive

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    I won't even start to tell the total utter bullsh*t "logic" that my girlfriend uses in our arguments.

    In fact, I will.......

    The silly slapper the other day put my safety at risk just so she could have the last word in an argument.
    I needed her to hold a ladder for me while I climbed it. I got half way up the ladder, looked down, and noticed that she was only holding one side of it. I asked VERY POLITELY "Can you hold it with two hands please, because if it twists you won't be able to hold it in place properly".
    The cow said "No, it's ok, I'll hold it with one hand".
    I tried to explain again why she hold it with two hands, so what does she do....... rests her knee on one of the ladder's rungs and says "There we go!".

    That was it.... I lost it with her big time, because I knew she was being awkward just for the sake of it, like a 4 year old child would.

    Needless to say she told me to... "f*ck off, fall and break your neck, I don't care!"

    What a b*tch!
    Still love her though.
    #11
  13. Ads
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    Ads License to drive

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    There should actually be government funded AA type meetings where men can go to exchange stories of when their missus has acted like a complete mong.
    Hearing other people's stories is the only thing that stops me falling into a deep depression, because it makes me realise that its not just me who has ended up with the stupidest most unreasonable woman on the planet.

    To be fair... In general, she's pretty smart. But in an argument with me she turns into the biggest f*ckwit ever produced.
    #12
  14. a3_dan
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    a3_dan Member

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    hahaha this thread has me giggling.

    My most recent gf, now ex, was also very smart, but blimey, when it came to arguments she was the most annoying stupid cow i have ever known!

    We were recently thinking of giving things another go, but then when i hear stories like this, and the stupid debates you get into, i think im happier at the moment just having random women every now and then haha :w00t:
    #13
  15. crazy88
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    crazy88 Loving the anonymity

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    ha! The logic never surprises me! I can see why people are gay....actually, no I can't. I'd still rather live with a pleb of a wife than a guy (no offense anyone!!)

    My wife gets a right potty mouth when i make her angry too, it's proper funny. She hates swearing normally, but when she gets mad all the foul words come out. The problem is, this makes me giggle which makes her more angry ha!
    #14
  16. DaveA3
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    DaveA3 Audi A-Trizzle!

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    i just had a phone call from my missus asking what WERE doing tonight... (seems like shes already decided im not allowed to see my mates in her eyes) i said i dunno then she moans about how we never do anything.. i asked her to suggest something then shes says she dont know...

    So she moans that i dont know and she doesnt know herself?!?!? wtf

    and last weekshe come to pick me up before we went out and i was a bit late coming out. 5-10mins. So when i picked her up a few days ago she purposely waited til she was 10 mins late before she come outside. I could see her in the living room watching tele checking the time on her phone..

    whats the point in that?!?

    I done the old drive forward everytime she reached for the handle trick. pissed her off but then she done the usual and slammed my door which pissed me off more! they do know how to get under ur skin!
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  17. Welly
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    Welly VX220 SC Driver :)

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    Well, it's just got worse... She came to meet me at work for lunch, and to pick up some printing I had done for her. She's at uni, and they charge 50p per A4 colour sheet. To save her some money, I took her flash drive to work and printed them for her, despite not being supposed to...

    Anyway....

    So I say 'Text me when you are outside'.

    Get a text later saying 'I've been here waiting for 10 mins'.

    I grab my stuff and head for the lifts... On the way to the lifts, I get collared by a senior partner who tells me that the 100 sales people out in the field's Blackberrys have stopped working, and that I need to look at it right now.

    Fair enough.

    Wander downstairs.

    Open the door and give the missus the printing, and give her the news I won't be able to go for lunch, and she actually wheel span off in a temper saying I had 'wasted her time' etc etc etc.

    Clearly forgot about the free printing then.

    Prick.
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  18. crazy88
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    crazy88 Loving the anonymity

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    Dave, that is quality mate! Your missus sounds like a legend! haha. I particularly love the line where she says she doesn't know herself anymore. wtf indeed.
    #17
  19. jojo
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    jojo Looking for Boost! Staff Member Moderator

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    I can see why you want to propose to her now. lol
    #18
  20. crazy88
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    crazy88 Loving the anonymity

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    We need an official "what random, inappropriate rant has your mrs done today" thread. I can't remember any now, but if we had an official thread i could update it whenever she acts like a spaz...which is quite often.
    #19
  21. a3_dan
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    a3_dan Member

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    HAHAHAHAHAHA I love that. Women are fu*king idiots! Its official!

    DaveA3, I used to do the same thing when my ex would take ages getting to the car or i just wanted to annoy her, wait till she grabs the handle then drive off hahaah we are so immature! And funnily enough, she would also slam my door which i she knew i HATED with a passion!!!
    #20
  22. Dane
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    Dane Faster than a V12 Q7

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    They can't all be mad, can they???
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  23. Ads
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    Ads License to drive

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    There is one thing that is even funnier than driving off as she tries to grab the door handle.....

    Next time she is at the back of the car, bending over and putting something in the boot..... drive off!!
    She'll look like a right pleb standing in the road bending forward with nothing in front of her.
    Soooooo funny!!

    Try it next time.
    #22
  24. a3_dan
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    a3_dan Member

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    hahahaha i need to try this!
    #23
  25. DaveA3
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    DaveA3 Audi A-Trizzle!

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    crazy88 - she is a pain the arse sometimes but i do love her for it. It keeps things alive if u like

    Aythreee thats quality ill give it a go! :laugh:

    damn straight Dan *high five*! :)
    #24
  26. crazy88
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    crazy88 Loving the anonymity

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    I can't wait to drive away as she goes to put something in the boot! Excellent idea. How about reversing too? Or is that just a step too far?
    #25
  27. Ads
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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    :lmfao: Slightly, maybe.
    #26
  28. a3_dan
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    a3_dan Member

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    haha you could give that a go, but be prepared to then quickly put it in 1st and get out of there quick before anyone sees....
    #27
  29. sidibear
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    sidibear Looking for Zombies !! Staff Member Moderator

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    Notice how its coming up to a full moon......?
    Its all part of the irrational cycle that its moon versus women. Understand the moon = understanding your partner. Know where the lows are and avoid confrontation, understand where the highs are and take as much advantage of the situation as you can :yes:
    Trust me, you will thank me for this. I have been married very happily for nearly 20 years, how do you think I do it?


    Stolen off interweb.
    Although the connection between the moon and our bodies is not fully understood, the fact remains that we are affected by the moon's phases. Most notably, our moods and emotions tend to peak when the moon is full. This is backed up by the fact that doctors and nurses who work in emergency rooms have said over and over again that their busiest night of the month always occurs when the moon is full. Women, however, have long held a connection with the moon.
    Charting the menstrual period according to the moon is one of the oldest forms of menstrual calendars. In fact, it is believed that the first calendars were based upon women's charts of their menstrual cycles and the moon cycles.
    #28
  30. Ads
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    Ads License to drive

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    So what you're saying is that women are werewolves??

    [​IMG]
    #29
  31. Welly
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    Welly VX220 SC Driver :)

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    OK, sadly I gave in. I was crushed by the pressure....

    I just bought her a sandwich for her and walked it up to her uni. (about a mile or so)

    Got there, went and found her and she didn't look remotely surprised... and said 'Oh thanks'.

    Hmmmmm.

    Cost of sandwich: £2.

    Cost of walking to uni: 1 Cigarette.

    The look of disbelief at the lack of gratitude: Priceless.

    Mental note here: When I next decide to do something nice. Don't.
    #30
  32. a3_dan
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    a3_dan Member

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    Women are so bloody ungrateful...You're a better man than me, i wouldnt have bothered, moody poxy mooses haha.

    So with regards to the moon etc, when is the best time to take advantage? :jump:
    #31
  33. crazy88
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    crazy88 Loving the anonymity

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    Well, if my mrs is the 'general trend' it was the last few nights for me! She's been like a dog on heat, hahaha. Not that i'm complaining, quite the opposite in fact. I have a permanent smile on my face at the moment. :w00t::eyebrows::w00t:


    And Welly, i'm sure inside she very much appreciated it. Perhaps tonight she will make all your wildest fantasies come true?! :wub:

    Oh, and Aythreee, that pics is just so wrong. I actually saw a woman once with arms just as hairy, ha! Poor lady
    #32
  34. Welly
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    Welly VX220 SC Driver :)

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    She is going to transform into Katy Perry?

    Awesome.... :) :wub:

    [​IMG]
    #33
  35. crazy88
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    crazy88 Loving the anonymity

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    Yup...

    [​IMG]

    Can you tell i'm bored at work? I want santa to come!!!!!!
    #34
  36. Welly
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    Welly VX220 SC Driver :)

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    I'd like Katy to do the same...

    *cough*
    #35
  37. crazy88
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    crazy88 Loving the anonymity

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    Yes, me too mate, me too! She is a rediculously hot lady.
    #36
  38. Welly
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    Welly VX220 SC Driver :)

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    Anyway....

    Bloody women! Grrrr. :mad:
    #37
  39. L1 HCS
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    L1 HCS Active Member

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    yeh most women are manipulative bitches who try anything to piss you off and turn your ego into dust.

    Then, when they eventually come around and 'calmed down' they're nice as pie! they are true psychotic weirdos!!!

    until the next time... (which is probably just around the corner....)
    #38
  40. Dane
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    Dane Faster than a V12 Q7

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    I think the clue to this is in the title, 'Bloody' women haha
    #39
  41. S3RYE
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    S3RYE Interior Next!!

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    [Dec 17, 2010]
    this thread is legend.. must be something in the air at the moment... mines behaving rather bad lately..

    im crackin up at some of these comments.. and yeh they are totally ungrateful :banghead:
    #40

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