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Best Short Joke Award

Discussion in 'Jokes, Games & Humour' started by jdp1962, Aug 21, 2006.

  1. A11 EAF
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    A11 EAF Member

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    [Sep 17, 2006]
    I stand corrected said the man in the orthopeadic shoe.......
    #41
  2. Randomjim
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    Randomjim Active Member

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    [Sep 17, 2006]
    What do you call a hundred nuns in a shop?


    Virgin megastore
    #42
  3. aq965
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    aq965 fo'rum abuser

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    [Sep 17, 2006]
    why do women call it pms?????

    cos bse was taken
    #43
  4. Randomjim
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    Randomjim Active Member

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    [Sep 17, 2006]
    What do you call sandpaper in afghanistan?

    A map
    #44
  5. MarcA3Turbo
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    MarcA3Turbo Member

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    [Sep 18, 2006]
    Whats pink and hard?

    A pig with a flickknife.
    #45
  6. OutLore
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    OutLore VOIP Dude

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    [Sep 18, 2006]
    What's pink and wrinkly and hangs out your trousers?
    :
    :
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    your mum.
    #46
  7. raymie
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    raymie 6 pot AP

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    [Sep 18, 2006]
    bought viagra the other day form ma mate down the pub, went home swallowed it, got stuck in my throat and i was up all nite with a stiff neck
    #47
  8. rich dj
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    rich dj Member

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    [Sep 23, 2006]
    A Perfect man and a Perfect woman and farther christmas were standing in a lift

    there was a ten pound note on the floor who picks it up.



    The man of course the others dont exist.......




    (ok apart from my wife)
    #48
  9. noodle
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    noodle Member

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    [Sep 25, 2006]
    bloke walks into a bar with a lump of tarmac under one arm - "one for me and one for the road"

    I thankyou..
    #49
  10. bravepilot
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    bravepilot Member

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    [Oct 24, 2006]
    OMG that is awful!!! Still made me smile though
    #50
  11. DAMO1.9TDI
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    DAMO1.9TDI 130BHP+,A4+ K & N Filter, Tuning Box.

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    [Oct 29, 2006]
    Whats pink and fluffy?
















    Pink Fluff, of course:hubbahubba:
    #51
  12. Randomjim
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    Randomjim Active Member

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    [Oct 29, 2006]
    :tumble:
    #52
  13. DAMO1.9TDI
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    DAMO1.9TDI 130BHP+,A4+ K & N Filter, Tuning Box.

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    [Oct 29, 2006]
    its all i got, sorry.:nunu: :shrug:
    #53
  14. Randomjim
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    Randomjim Active Member

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    [Oct 29, 2006]
    What bees make milk?











    Booo-bees


    (i know, no better)
    #54
  15. DAMO1.9TDI
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    DAMO1.9TDI 130BHP+,A4+ K & N Filter, Tuning Box.

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    [Oct 29, 2006]
    I tought mine was bad.:gaehn:
    #55
  16. Randomjim
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    Randomjim Active Member

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    [Oct 29, 2006]
    it was :moa:
    #56
  17. smee
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    smee Member

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    [Oct 30, 2006]
    Whats brown and smelly and comes out of the back of cows?





    The Isle of Wight ferry!
    #57
  18. Granny
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    Granny Member

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    [Oct 30, 2006]
    An icecream man was found dead in his van covered in hundreds and thousands and smothered in strawberry sauce... Police say he topped himself.
    #58
  19. silver75
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    silver75 Big Ron

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    [Oct 31, 2006]


    A little boy asked his father,
    "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
    Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

    A young son asked,
    "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
    a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
    Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."

    :whip:



    #59
  20. Granny
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    Granny Member

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    [Oct 31, 2006]
    Bloke goes to the doctor's "Doc, I've got a strawberry stuck up my Arse".

    "No problem, I've got some cream you can put on it"

    :doctor:
    #60
  21. L1 HCS
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    L1 HCS Active Member

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    [Nov 5, 2006]
    :thumbsup::lmfao:
    #61
  22. icenutter
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    icenutter Member

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    [Nov 5, 2006]
    Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?




    He had to work it out with a pencil.
    #62
  23. smilne
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    smilne New Member

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    [Dec 4, 2006]
    What kind of Bee's make milk???

    boobies!!!
    #63
  24. filipharvey
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    filipharvey Amusing Tagline

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    [Dec 4, 2006]
    Deja Vu????
    #64
  25. garratt83
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    garratt83 Member

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    [Dec 8, 2006]
    A women with no legs goes strawberry picking













    Jammy C*nt
    #65
  26. smitch
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    smitch Active Member

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    [Dec 8, 2006]
    Man goes to the doctor and says 'doctor i can't stop singing Delila'.

    The doctor says 'aah, seems to me like you've got a case of Tom Jones syndrome'

    The man says 'is it common?'

    The doc says 'it's not unusual'
    #66
  27. silver75
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    silver75 Big Ron

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    [Jan 8, 2007]
    Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must tell you all something,. We have a case of gonorrhea ithe convent."
    "Thank God", said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of the chardonay"
    #67
  28. silver75
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    silver75 Big Ron

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    [Jan 8, 2007]
    One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."
    So he tied her up and went golfing.
    #68
  29. silver75
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    silver75 Big Ron

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    [Jan 8, 2007]
    woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey,
    pack your bags. I won the lottery!"
    The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get out."
    #69
  30. silver75
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    silver75 Big Ron

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    [Jun 27, 2007]
    BUMP

    What's the first sign of madness?








    Suggs walking up your driveway.
    #70
  31. Shades
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    Shades Member

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    [Jun 27, 2007]
    A white horse walks into a bar, the barman says "We've got a drink named after you", the horse replies "What? Kevin?"
    #71
  32. smee
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    smee Member

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    [Jun 28, 2007]
    Why did the one eyed chicken cross the road?




    To get to the Birds Eye shop!
    #72
  33. Hotscar
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    Hotscar Four Wheel Drifting

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    [Jun 28, 2007]
    How do you confuse a muppet?

    7
    #73
  34. alipaton
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    alipaton Member

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    [Jun 28, 2007]
    What's the fastest cake in the world? A Scone :w00t:
    #74
  35. alipaton
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    alipaton Member

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    [Jun 28, 2007]
    What do a washing machine and a woman have in common?
    They both leak when they're f@;#ed
    #75
  36. MikeS4
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    MikeS4 MikeS4

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    [Jun 28, 2007]
    Whats the difference between a woman & a washing machine......

    a washing machine won't keep calling & texting you after you've dumped your load in it.
    #76
  37. silver75
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    silver75 Big Ron

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    [Jun 28, 2007]
    Whats the difference between groping Kylie and driving a Lada?



    You feel a right tit driving a Lada.
    #77
  38. simch
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    simch Active Member

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    [Jun 28, 2007]
    Hunchback of Notre Dame walks into a pub.
    HBND:"I'll have a whisky"?
    Barman: "Bells alright?"
    HBND: "mind your own fxxkin business!"

    'ere all week!
    #78
  39. simonwjones
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    simonwjones Member

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    [Jun 28, 2007]
    Whats dead and comes in yellow bags?




















    John Lennon
    #79
  40. Caesium
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    Caesium My BM is fixed!

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    [Jun 28, 2007]
    Excellent!
    #80

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