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Basic Maths....

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by hop2407, Jun 5, 2006.

  1. hop2407
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    hop2407 Active Member

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    How true is this lads..........

    OFFICE ARITHMETIC
    Smart boss + smart employee = profit
    Smart boss + dumb employee = production
    Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
    Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
    _____________________________



    ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
    Smart man + smart woman = romance
    Smart man + dumb woman = affair
    Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
    Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

    SHOPPING MATH
    A man will pay £20 for a £10 item he needs.
    A woman will pay £10 for a £20 item that she doesn't need.
    _____________________________
    GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
    A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
    A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
    _____________________________
    HAPPINESS MATHS
    To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a
    little.
    To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
    understand her at all.
    ______________________________
    LONGEVITY MATHS
    Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot
    more willing to die.
    ______________________________
    PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
    A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man
    marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
    _____________________________
    DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
    A woman has the last word in any argument.
    Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
    _____________________________
    HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
    Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
    cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started
    doing the same thing to them at funerals.
    #1

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