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Barclays Bank Drive Thru

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by necroeire, May 11, 2005.

  1. necroeire
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    necroeire Active Member

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    [May 11, 2005]
    Barclays Bank is very pleased to inform you that we are installing new Drive-thru" cash point machines where our customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. To enable our customers to make full use of these new facilities, we have conducted intensive behavioural studies to come up with appropriate procedures for their use. Please read the procedures that apply to you and remember them

    PROCEDURES FOR OUR MALE CUSTOMERS:
    1. Drive up to the cash machine.
    2. Wind down your car window.
    3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
    4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
    5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
    6. Wind up window.
    7. Drive off.

    PROCEDURES FOR OUR FEMALE CUSTOMERS:
    1. Drive up to cash machine.
    2. Reverse back the required distance to align car window with cash machine.
    3. Re-start the stalled engine.
    4. Wind down the window.
    5. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
    6. Turn the radio down.
    7. Attempt to insert card into machine.
    8. Open car door to allow easier access to cash machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
    9. Insert card.
    10. After "Invalid Card" is displayed - Remove the afore mentioned "Marks & Spencers" Charge card and insert correct Cash Point card.
    11. Remove Cash Point Card
    12. Re-insert Cash Point card the right way up.
    13. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
    14. Enter PIN.
    15. Press "Cancel" and re-enter correct PIN.
    16. Enter amount of cash required.
    17. Check make-up in rear view mirror.
    18. Retrieve cash and receipt.
    19. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.
    20. Place receipt in back of cheque book.
    21. Re-check make-up.
    22. Drive forward 2 meters.
    23. Reverse back to cash machine.
    24. Retrieve card.
    25. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
    26. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
    27. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
    28. Release hand brake.
    #1
  2. TDI-line
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    TDI-line Uber Post Whore

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    [May 11, 2005]
    Priceless. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh_2.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh_2.gif
    #2
  3. jdp1962
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    jdp1962 Grumpy Old Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    [May 11, 2005]
    LMAO!!!!!! Especially funny as I used to work for them.

    /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh_roll.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh_roll.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh_roll.gif
    #3
  4. ajmackie
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    ajmackie Member

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  5. fallmonk
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    fallmonk Turbo Sport

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    [May 11, 2005]
    brill mate pmsl , for ages lol !
    #5
  6. hop2407
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    hop2407 Active Member

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    [May 11, 2005]
    Seen it before - excellent...
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  7. mikeA2B
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    mikeA2B Member

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    [May 11, 2005]
    hahahaha, yes, verrrrry good!

    And to avoid delays they should have Male / Female Lanes, with a 12 ft width barrier for the mums in their X5's!

    (Hope my missus aint reading this)
    #7

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