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Airline Logs

tankdriver Nov 25, 2007

  1. tankdriver

    tankdriver New Member

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    AIRLINE LOGS
    Some extracts from actual maintenance logs recorded by pilots with the responses of the ground maintenance engineers to the complaint.
    Who said that engineers lack a sense of humour?


    Pilot: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
    Engineer: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

    P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
    E: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

    P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
    E: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. No’s 1, 3 and 4 propellors lack normal seepage.

    P: Something loose in cockpit.
    E: Something tightened in cockpit.

    P: Dead bugs on windscreen.
    E: Live bugs on order.

    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces 200 fpm descent.
    E: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    E: Evidence removed.

    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    E: DME volume set to more believable level.

    P: IFF inoperative.
    E: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

    P: Suspected crack in windshield.
    E: Suspect you’re right.

    P: Number 3 engine missing.
    E: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

    P: Aircraft handles funny.
    E: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

    P: Target radar hums.
    E: Reprogrammed target radar with words.

    P: Mouse in cockpit.
    E: Cat installed.
     
  2. marms

    marms Member

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    Some fantastic sarcatic humor there. Love it.
     
  3. m40rcd

    m40rcd Sunny Delight

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    We were told these as part of my training in the aerospace industry, they defy belief
     
  4. grathies

    grathies More Points Than Portsmouth FC

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    I work in Aerospace and we get some components returned to us with stupidly phrased reasoning, this one is a classic

    P: Something loose in cockpit.
    E: Something tightened in cockpit.
     
  5. simch

    simch Active Member

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    I heard an ATC recording of a pilot decending and reporting a "layer of icing". ATC responded quick as a flash, "Roger, report clear of the marzipan!".....
    For about the next 2 hours lots of other planes coming on the channel other plane on the channel joined in and ribbed the original pilot, things like "dodgy currents" and "Roger, peel off left to heading 270!" loads of really tenuous cake and cookery related quips.....the controller felt quite bad about what he had started, but it was pretty funny and very quick witted.
     
  6. FactionOne

    FactionOne Administrator Staff Member Administrator

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    :lmfao::lmfao::lmfao:

    Plenty more ATC humour to be found over here: http://www.pprune.org/forums/showthread.php?t=59309

    One of my faves though:

    Regards,

    Rob.
     
  7. TDI-line

    TDI-line Uber Post Whore Team Floret Silver quattro Audi A3 Black Edition TDi

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    Top class.
     
  8. Shades

    Shades Member

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    That is pure class FactionOne!! :lmfao: :lmfao:
     

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