Just been done by the police. according to the law, wrapping my cock in the beano and wanking, doesnt count as comic relief man goes out in his hot air balloon and gets totally lost in the irish countryside, hours later he sees paddy below him and shouts "hey you down there,where am i ?!" paddy shouts up "aha im not stupid you know,your in the basket" Scientists have found that many women develop 'Dyson's disease' after a few years of marriage........ They make a continuous whining noise and don't suck anymore I've been diagnosed with the 'Big C' Dyslexia Two couples had gone away for the weekend. The two guys, Jack and Bill, have decided to try to persuade their wives to do a bit of partner swapping for the night. After several drinks that night they succeed. Jack knows it's that time of the month for his wife and the thought of Bill not knowing this makes him smile. The guys agreed that when they sit around the breakfast table the following morning, they will tap their teaspoons on the side of their coffee mug the number of times that they did it with each other's wives. The next morning they are all at the breakfast table, slightly hung over and quite uncomfortable, when Jack proudly taps his teaspoon 3 times against his coffee mug. After a brief moment of thinking, Bill takes his teaspoon and taps it once on the strawberry jam and 3 times on the peanut butter!