You'd naturally assume that the 2015 Audi S3 is a scorching hatch, but it doesn't have to be. Meet the newest Audi sedans, the A3 and S3. Audi touts its newest A-segment offerings by cranking up the hyperbolic platitudes, calling the A3 a car that "breaks the boundaries and raises the bar" for entry-level luxury sedans. Apparently, "raising the bar" means "looking like a smaller version of your other sedans," because the A3 and S3 do just that. It's not bad, and the A3 sedan is nearly a dimensional dead ringer for the first A4 we all fell hard for back in the '90s. That comparison has no actual bearing on the A3 being great, or failing spectacularly, but at least you know how much space to clear in your garage. Every car company claims to set the standard for everyone else, but the A3 will carry the family nose into this space, plus an interior that's like a Manhattan walk-up taste of the A8's mansion of awesome. Audi touts standard leather, the latest LED bedazzling, and tech like the latest-generation of MMI with a 7" screen driven by an NVIDIA Tegra graphics processor, apparently a big deal if you're into cars that are like tablets. Audi has made much of its WiFi and app integration, so the car really is like a German iPad with a very elaborate car-shaped carrying case. You'd expect an Audi to stick to the ground without being stuck to the ground. A new platform pushes the front wheels out by an inch and a half, and those wheels are directed by an electromechanical steering system. Fuel is consumed by four engine choices. A3s get a 170hp 1.8 liter TFSI four, or you can play eco-marauder with a 150hp 2.0 TDI. The top A3 engine is a 2.0TFSI, and going for the S3 is a high-output 2.0 TFSI affair. Horsepower for the 2.0s will be released later, so all we have right now are vague promises. After all that, if you haven't looked at the pictures and been completely smitten with the chisel-sharp good looks and yearned to be alone with the quilted leather seats, there's something wrong with you.