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My Misses packed my bags and told me to get out, and as i walked out the front door she screamed......." I wish you a slow and painful death you Bas***d!" "Oh" I replied, "So you want me to stay now!"

Hope someone can help my rnse has just stopped putting out any sound it still showing cd,s playing and sat nav but no sound Thanks in advance

Hi People hope someone can help my engine managment light keeps coming on and putting the car into limp mode i have had it on vag he reset it and the code is this 16395 bank1,camshaft A (intake) ****** set point not reached (over advanced) P0011 not a plausible signal intermittent. I have...

A bloke in a bangkok brothell ask the prostitute if she does anal "yes but i will have to wear a condom because i dont like getting **** on my ****"

I rang my wife at work today and said, "Do you fancy going for a few drinks and something to eat after work?" "Yes." She said, "I would love to." I said, "Great, will you get a case of lager and three pizzas, all the lads are coming round."

Check this beast out... Audi A1 Clubsport quattro

Hi all hope someone can help car started to slide on ice other day esp lights came on had to break coming to a junction car slid right across junction and hit a huge curb smashed my rs4 rep alloy and bent the botttom arm knocked the wheel 20mm back have had it fixed new wheel and arm tracking...

went to the chippy earlier asked them for a jordans gash its a kebab with a few vegetables hanging out

Hi guys just a quick one i was out driving in the snow today wheels spun a bit and the esp light on my dash started to flash, I just want to no is the light on the dash suppose to be on for the esp to be active or should it be off. Ive got an esp on/off button on my dash but dont no if the light...

THE WIFE HAS LEFT ME! SHE SAID I LOVE FOOTBALL MORE THAN I LOVE HER . IT HAS REALLY UPSET ME.I HAVE BEEN WITH HER FOR TWELVE SEASONS!

A young journalism student at the University of Tennessee was assigned to write a human interest story, so he went up into the mountains were he found an old farmer sitting on his porch. He introduced himself, explained his mission, and asked, "Has anything ever happened here that made you...

http://cars.uk.msn.com/features/photos.aspx?cp-documentid=149032627

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NxrTEPaA-BQ stats for it 0 to 60 in 1.2 secs to 168 in 4.1 secs 215+ in 6.6 and its street legal:sign_omg:

One day a man is walking down the street when he sees a woman with the most perfect tits he'd ever seen He goes over and asks if he can bite her tits for £100. She declines, disgusted. "Ok then" he says, "£1000?" Again, disgusted she declines "Ok ok how about £10,000?" Thinking about this she...

A man born with three testacles is walking down the road one day and sees a bookmakers and has an idea. He strolls into the bookmakers with a confident smile on his face. He asks, "What odds will you give me that between us we have 5 testacles?" The bookie chuckles and says, "I'll give you very...

Two Aussie builders (Phil and Eric) are seated either side of a table in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar. The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit. Phil: - I reckon he's an accountant. Eric: - No way - he's a...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2x7QvwidnCU:hubbahubba:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=We5fECCILWs

The nun playing golf A nun is sitting with her Mother Superior chatting. "I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it" When did you use this awful language?" asks the elder. Well, I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go...

A married couple were on holiday in Ireland. They were touring around the market-place looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop. From inside they heard the shopkeeper say, 'Be Jasus, You tourists! Come into me humble shop!' So the couple walked in and old Shamus...