Audi joke!

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I know it's been said a million times before BUT Audi servicing is a bit of a joke!
Took my car in this morning for it's major service (last one done 2 years ago / 12k miles ago).

Received the dreaded phone call a little while ago and it went roughly as follows (with my thoughts in brackets):

Him: Hello Sir. Right we've had a look at your car and we found there are a few other things that need doing.

Me: (Brace yourself son) Noooo... really??? Like what? :sly:

Him: Well, you've got a puncture in one of your tyres. That will be £18 to fix.

Me: None of the tyres look flat to me. How do you know there is a puncture? Have you tested for one?

Him: No, but the pressure in one is slightly lower than the rest so it must have a puncture. :jester:

Me: (so really it's £18 to pump up a tyre that has released a little pressure over the months. It's fine, I'll pay 20p for air at the petrol station and risk getting p*ssed off because the 'air-time' has run out before I've managed to pump up all four tyres) Ok, leave that.

Him: Your rear brake light has gone as well. That will be £24.

Me: (already bought two bulbs off ebay for £1.49.... DELIVERED) Ok, leave that.

Him: Your wiper blades are smearing. That will be £34.

Me: (You must be getting the gist here mate) Ok, leave that.

Him: You could do with a pollen filter also. That will be £60 as it's not included in the type of service you have gone for.

Me: So is there a service that includes everything I'm getting done at the moment plus the pollen filter?

Him: Yes

Me: (why am I not surprise) How much is that service then?

Him: £50 more than the one you have gone for.

Me: (hmmm. so let's do the math) So could I swap to that service which is exactly the same as the one i'm getting but includes the pollen filter... for the extra £50?? Instead of just saying to you do the pollen filter and paying an extra £60?

Him: Yes.

Me: :)faint: It's ok, i'll sneeze in the summer, and for the cheekiness of it...) Ok, leave that.

Him: You also need your brake fluid changing.

Me: Ok, how much will that be?

Him: £70.

Me: (oh come on mate) It's says £49 on your website. :no:

Him: My bad. Yes it's £49.

Me: (Busted!!) Ok, I'll take that.

Me: BYE.

Him: bye.


So that's Audi 'eh!! :jester:
 
Hilarious mate :laugh: and I'm glad you saw the humour in the situation.

I'd have been amused as well..."amused-with-a-hint-of-rage-and-wondering-what-I-can-break-or-steal-on-my-way-out" sort of amused.

Did they wash your car with the yard brush as well? :eyebrows:
 
Nah im just playing, they have good and bad in their dealerships pretty much like most things in life. We just dont seem to hear enough about the good things :shrug:
 
Fantastic! lol I'm so glad to see wisdom when encountering Audi service staff :thumbsup:

It makes you realise that they must get away with it a hell of a lot though.
 
When you go to pick the car up are you going to bend over, pull down your trousers down and offer yourself freely to the service guy :eyebrows:

They've tried to shaft you every other way so you may as well go for the full monty!

Well done for keeping him honest, and another lovely example of a 'premium' brand being anything other than premium. It's purely a case of a different sign over the door when compared to the other VAG marques, they just think they can shaft you harder for cash when you have 4 rings.
 
its absolutely ridiculous really though. shame on audi. they seem to be quite happy to jst rip their customers off. just not on.
 
Im standing with my back against the wall the next time i go into Audi. I just hope i dont drop the keys lol
 
warrencox said:
they just think they can shaft you harder for cash when you have 4 rings.
Click to expand...

Don't they just!! I'm sure they design some bits of the car (simple bits that anybody should be able to fix) to make you come back to the dealers. Having to take the wheel and wheel arch liner off to change a sodding indicator bulb is not reasonable in my book.

Sidelight bulb? According to the manual, dealer only :mad: Longlife servicing? I dunno what's particularly long-life about it...certainly wouldn't predict a very long life for a turbo car that's serviced every 20000 miles :think:
 
I totally agree with all that you say.
They're missing a trick by doing what they do, especially charging way over the odds for small jobs... i.e. changing bulbs etc.
Just to save time and effort I would've happily paid them a few quid to change my brake bulb. Maybe even up to a tenner, on which they still would've made a bit of money. But £25... no way. Same goes for the wipers.
But now because of their greed they have made nothing on those jobs.
And mulitply that loss by the amount of people that are wising up to their tricks and they possibily stand to lose more than what they gain from the people that still pay their extortionate prices for little jobs.
 
aythreee said:
But now because of their greed they have made nothing on those jobs.
And mulitply that loss by the amount of people that are wising up to their tricks and they possibily stand to lose more than what they gain from the people that still pay their extortionate prices for little jobs.
Click to expand...

And that's the killer point of all this, the lack of the big picture viewpoint.

I consider myself and the missus to be comfortable financially, but there is a price I will pay for something, and a price I won't. It depends on a measure which no matter how rich/poor I become will always represent value for money.

Do I consider an ex Ford mechanic sticking a bulb worth a few pence in my light cluster a £25 job. Never.

Would I rather put another £25 in the pot for a house move, holiday or big purchase or something of consequence? Yes.

The company car market has soured the ownership of cars for the privateer in the prestige space as with company cars the work just gets done - no questions asked. The dealers get used to this and treat the private owners the same way.

To be an open cheque book (like I am for Apple products:keule:), I really need to feel the love for something. Audi don't have the ability or the honesty to make me feel that kind of love. Plus I don't trust their judgment enough.

I'm sure the double-barreled surnamed toffs clad in country tweed from Primrose Hill open their cheque books far more willingly, but due to the economic concept of 'opportunity cost', I have better places to invest my money. There is no one upmanship in paying over the odds for something when your being milked like the mother of sextuplets.
 
Its got to point where i have a local guy who is very very good to do my mecahnics ie barakes suspension fittings etc, last week he supplied and fitted rear brake pads for £50 (and not cheapo squealer pads) tomorrow he is fitting a new cambelt/waterpump camshaft and crank shaft sensor for £100 labour i purchased the bits myself and he said if i want to keep the history as is just use Audi for my variable servicing and nothing else which at the prices they charge is the only way to go for me for a 5/6 year old car :o.k:
 
Basingstoke Audi have been brilliant in the 3 years I've had my car. There are some good Audi centres out there that you can trust.
 
JeffY said:
Basingstoke Audi have been brilliant in the 3 years I've had my car. There are some good Audi centres out there that you can trust.
Click to expand...

And to be fair, my local Audi have been good. Up until now.

Disappointed. Very disappointed. :3sadwalk:
 
You know why they offer all those extras too their std service ?? Because most Audi owners will say go ahead.
Lets face it, we pay £30,000+ for a car and then pay extra to get a decent interior light, a proper radio and a MF steering wheel fitted....All things standard on a £9k Micra !! Good grief..Audi even charge extra for an ash tray !!

Think yourself lucky they bothered to ask you ! At my last service/MOT they fitted 3 windscreen wipers for £30 despite me replacing them 3 days earlier for the MOT !!!
 
paddy said:
Think yourself lucky they bothered to ask you ! At my last service/MOT they fitted 3 windscreen wipers for £30 despite me replacing them 3 days earlier for the MOT !!!
Click to expand...

And you paid them for the wipers???

Whenever I go to collect my car after a service I always HOPE they've done a few extras without my say so!
 
Didnt even look at the bill till i got home. I put it down to me being stupid, next time i will check before i leave.
 
Audi are a bunch of b£$%^&*d's ...They try and get out of everything if i had 2 wishes one would be Audi flop's i like the car's but the rest is shyte ...

For example Audi derby fitted me a ipod lead i used to just leave the ipod on the leed in the glove box all the time but the problem is when i turned off the ignition the ipod was still on or sucking the juice out of the battery ..so we went on holiday when i returned the car was stone dead the battery wouldn't even recharge i took the car to Audi they said it was the ipod lead ...but wouldn't replace the battery telling me i had to take it up with derbi audi , I had to pay for a new one ...What a effing joke i basically hope they die even if i became a millionaire i would'nt get an audi again ...
 
10blazin said:
Audi are a bunch of b£$%^&*d's ...They try and get out of everything if i had 2 wishes one would be Audi flop's i like the car's but the rest is shyte ...

For example Audi derby fitted me a ipod lead i used to just leave the ipod on the leed in the glove box all the time but the problem is when i turned off the ignition the ipod was still on or sucking the juice out of the battery ..so we went on holiday when i returned the car was stone dead the battery wouldn't even recharge i took the car to Audi they said it was the ipod lead ...but wouldn't replace the battery telling me i had to take it up with derbi audi , I had to pay for a new one ...What a effing joke i basically hope they die even if i became a millionaire i would'nt get an audi again ...
Click to expand...


You're moaning about Audi Derby rather Audi AG. Some of the UK dealers do leave a little to be desired but others, like Huntingdon Audi which I use, are very good.

As for Audi AG, the company that actually builds the A3 and other Audi's, personally I have no compalints at all. They design and build just the type of car I want to own.
 
I basically thought audi was audi ?? Like argos or something i could take my car to any audi if there was a problem , but if i have any problem's i have to go to derby and also there probably the worst audi place to buy from ..There real horrible people ..i hate them also audi in general just avoid paying out for anything even if it's there fault there b£$%&*d's
 
Last edited:
Bradford audi lost my car!, fantastic new premises but complete incompetence from the service dept.
Not finished when i was told it was ready,
Car dirtier than when it went in.
Over charged
pollen filter not changed
Couldn't get my name correct, kept calling me Mr Smith and even invoiced Mr Smith....

Vowed never to return after writting a complaint letter and getting little response.

:jester:
 
Oh Ive heard all that alot unless you wright to Mr hick's your basically screwed I'm thinking of writing to watchdog ...
 
I feel you just needed to vent a moan about nothing. A tyre can have a nail in it and not go down, i'd still take the nail out and repair it so 18 pound for removing wheel, removing tyre, repairing tyre and refittin and balancing is a good price. A bulb is cheap but the book time is .30tu to fit which is over quater of the labour rate. The major and interim service dont include pollen filter, so it is going to cost extra but i think he got the price wrong as with the brake fluid change. But it seems you had the hump with the dealer from the off and didnt want to have an actual conversation to find this out or get the advisor to check his information. All my own opinion but when your at the other end life is a little different.
 
the force is strong with this one !!!

darthvaderdogcostume.jpg
 
HotboxDeluxe said:
Hilarious mate :laugh: and I'm glad you saw the humour in the situation.

I'd have been amused as well..."amused-with-a-hint-of-rage-and-wondering-what-I-can-break-or-steal-on-my-way-out" sort of amused.

Did they wash your car with the yard brush as well? :eyebrows:
Click to expand...

i had a service last month and my car still had mud on the outside and sand all over the insdie from five a side the night before, with a sign on my mirror asking if i was happy with the cleaning. wont be going back to stockport audi just based on that.
 
Kunit said:
I feel you just needed to vent a moan about nothing.
Click to expand...

You feel wrong.


Kunit said:
A tyre can have a nail in it and not go down, i'd still take the nail out and repair it so 18 pound for removing wheel, removing tyre, repairing tyre and refittin and balancing is a good price.
Click to expand...

As mentioned, they based their assumption that I had a puncture on the fact that the pressure in the said tyre is less than the rest. No nails found, no anything. Just because the pressure was less in that tyre.
I must have had a puncture in every tyre on every car I've ever owned if this is true.


Kunit said:
A bulb is cheap but the book time is .30tu to fit which is over quater of the labour rate.
Click to expand...

£25 to change a bulb is extortionate when a bulb costs about 50p. It takes approximately 5 minutes to change (yes i've done it before) and certainly does not command a £24.50 fee.


Kunit said:
The major and interim service dont include pollen filter, so it is going to cost extra but i think he got the price wrong as with the brake fluid change.
Click to expand...

Price wrong for the brake fluid change?? I don't think so. Even the invoice quotes £70, but somewhere it is reduced down. It's a case of 'know about the offer and you get it' but 'if you don't know about the offer you pay more'. Plenty of examples of this posted on this very forum.
Not fair. The price advertised should be the price paid by all.


Kunit said:
But it seems you had the hump with the dealer from the off and didnt want to have an actual conversation to find this out or get the advisor to check his information.
Click to expand...

As also mentioned in this thread, up to now I've received a very good, fair service from them, so no "hump" from the off.
But they've kinda spoiled it a bit with today's little performance.


Kunit said:
All my own opinion but when your at the other end life is a little different.
Click to expand...

Opinion welcomed but... wrong.

Maybe you need to be faced with someone trying to get you to pay an extra £200 on top of the £200 you are already spending, when really it shouldn't be anywhere near that figure.
And it's happened too many times to too many people for it to just be me complaining about nothing.

So you work for Audi right? Are you honestly telling me that dealers don't try to draw extra money out of customers where possible? I'm not saying ALL do, but enough to warrant posts such as these.
 
Kunit said:
A bulb is cheap but the book time is .30tu to fit which is over quater of the labour rate.
Click to expand...

I'm a mechanical spaz, and I can fit a sidelight bulb in my Audi in under 5 minutes. Don't tell me an Audi Master Technician takes any longer than that when it's his bread and butter. Even BL could have done it quicker than .30tu, with a tea break factored in.

Kunit said:
But it seems you had the hump with the dealer from the off and didnt want to have an actual conversation to find this out or get the advisor to check his information. All my own opinion but when your at the other end life is a little different.
Click to expand...

The customer shouldn't need to be highlighting the accurate costs to the dealership. The dealership has a responsibility to know their own pricing matrix. Premium my @r$e.

Once again, get a good European product, (like a Audi or TAG watch for instance), and once it hits the UK dealer service network you may as well give up any hope. Pi$$ poor.
 
warrencox said:
The customer shouldn't need to be highlighting the accurate costs to the dealership. The dealership has a responsibility to know their own pricing matrix.
Click to expand...

TWO inaccurate costs in as many seconds.

They knew the accurate costs, they just didn't know that I did too. :no:
 
The £99/£199 service and the £49 brakes fluid change are offers, I normally expect to have to ask for an offer in order to get it. Also as someone pointed out in a previous thread, they use lower grade oil for the cheaper fixed price service offer.
 
JeffY said:
The £99/£199 service and the £49 brakes fluid change are offers, I normally expect to have to ask for an offer in order to get it.
Click to expand...

Audi are doing an offer of fixed price servicing etc across their dealerships, so when I walk into an Audi dealership and ask for them to carry out one of the jobs on offer I expect to be quoted that offer price, regardless of whether I am aware of it or not.
Same applies to anything you pay for really, from anywhere.

For example....
McD's used to do an offer of 49p for a hamburger. I walked into any McD's, asked for a burger, got charged 49p. Simple.

Not once did the conversation go.....

Hamburger please.
That will be 99p Sir.
But aren't they supposed to be 49p across the UK at the moment. I've seen the advert on telly.
Ah ha, now you've mentioned it... my mistake, that'll be 49p please Sir.


It'd different if it was some sort of voucher/code offer to receive the discount. But it ain't.
 
You need to have lived abroad for a long time before you can say that service is crap in the UK, as someone who has spent a third of my life abroad I can say with some certainty that we don't have it that bad in the UK.

I also work for a global medical company and the service we provide in the UK is better and in some cases vastly better than the service provided in other contries.
 
JeffY said:
You need to have lived abroad for a long time before you can say that service is crap in the UK, as someone who has spent a third of my life abroad I can say with some certainty that we don't have it that bad in the UK.

I also work for a global medical company and the service we provide in the UK is better and in some cases vastly better than the service provided in other contries.
Click to expand...

So because some other countries have it worse than us we should put up with being shafted??

Crap service is crap service. No matter how much more crap it is elsewhere.
 
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