Jeff’s S4 – Five weeks and 1,000 miles in:
Things I love:
The powertrain – coming back to petrol (even from an engine as nice as Audi’s 3.0TDi V6) is just soooooo welcome. The growl on start-up is something I never tire of hearing, and the power delivery is exquisitely relentless. I’ve still not yet given it the full beans, and I’m still getting used to the ratios and differing shift patterns of the S-Tronic. But I still know enough about it to understand that this is a seriously quick but stealthy* performer. I’ve not yet slung it down a deserted twisty road in anger; maybe in the Autumn when we go to Northumberland. Until then, I can’t offer a proper opinion on the handling.
*If the word “stealthy” didn’t already exist, it would need to be invented to describe the S4.
The looks – so, this is a saloon that’s been around for eight years, and is about to be replaced, so it’s a bit old and out-dated, yes? Err…no. The 2012 face-lift transformed the B8’s looks, and when you add the S4 styling cues on, paint it Tornado Grey and fit window tints, this is a car that looks quite splendid from any angle. Of course it’s not beautiful in the way that an E-Type or Ferrari Daytona is – it’s still only a saloon car after all – but all of the styling elements work so well together.
The interior ambience – again, despite Audi’s track record of quality interiors, the B8 is supposedly looking its age now, isn’t it? Again, an emphatic no. The supposed benchmark in this sector for interiors is the C-Class Merc, but I hate it. That huge screen stuck up in the centre of the dash makes it look like the most hideous afterthought. What were they thinking of, not making it retractable? Newer designs might have touch-screens and more intuitive media interfaces but so what? I’m buying a car, not a tablet.
As with the externals, every aspect of the car’s design language and execution (bar a couple, I’ll get to them later) make it a hugely satisfying place to be, at any speed. The supersport seats, and the fine-tuned adjustment they allow to be memorised, are perfect for a fat old man with a chronic back problem. The flat-bottomed wheel, the gear shift handle, paddles and dials all add to that cohesive feeling of a great place to be. The black/silver leather combo makes me salivate every time I look inside.
The xenon headlights with automatic activation, main beam assist and active swivel in corners. Sounds silly but I specced these up with a particular journey in mind on a road that is notoriously awkward to navigate in the dark. It’ll be two or three months before I drive that road in the dark, until then I can only surmise that it was money well spent.
Things that I find pleasing and which just add to the general feeling of satisfaction:
The electronic handbrake and hold-assist – makes live in an automatic so much easier; no longer to I sit with my foot on the brake pedal at traffic lights and junctions.
The media system – DAB, juke box, being able to watch a movie DVD (I suspect like the idea of this more than the reality of it) and the fact that I can finally input all of a postcode into the satnav.
The remote boot lid; so much better than the old one which unlocked but didn’t lift.
Automatic wipers. I was a sceptic; I always thought it was up to the driver to notice it was raining, but now I’ve got them, I like them.
Things that niggle me:
AMI – can’t see the point of it.
Phone integration. The Bluetooth is fine, but having to put the handset in the tray under the centre armrest - which means resetting the armrest position every time - to charge it via a short USB lead into the 12V socket is such a faff. Alternative is to stretch over, open the glove box and fiddle about for the AMI lead, which is even less convenient. I tend to go with the centre tray, but the number of times I’ve got out and left the phone in the car because I’ve forgotten it’s there is already in double figures. I’m really tempted to get a dash-mount Brodit cradle.
Silly one this, but the location of the ignition key slot inboard of the steering wheel really annoys me. If I want to start the engine to check something under the bonnet, I have to lean past the wheel and manoeuvre the key into the slot at the same time as maintaining pressure on the brake pedal. I invariably end up sitting in the seat, and then getting out again as soon as the engine starts. Also, while it hasn’t happened to me, I read on the forum of a member who damaged his steering wheel whilst getting out of the car with the key in his left-hand. That wouldn’t happen if the slot was on the outboard side.
I've had to buy a dipstick - WTF?!
I’ve just read back through, and am conscious that I’ve written almost as much about the niggles and annoyances as I have about the shock and awe stuff. But that’s deceptive.
To summarise, this is a stunning car. I can’t wait for my alarm clock to go off at 5am tomorrow, because it means I’ll be driving it. It doesn’t matter that it’s ten miles up a largely straight dual carriageway, plus half a mile at 20mph through a tunnel. It’s a car that makes you feel great just being in or near it.
I hate when that happens!
