ASN's Pub

Matt yr not the first to say that mate, I here ya :beerchug:
What a do ... Its nice to be back home. So are we saying this place need a lick of paint.

I pulled a bird the other night and took her back to my house. As I laid back on the bed, she slowly unbuttoned my jeans and said, "Fancy a blow job?"
I said, "Of course, but I must warn you, the last girl gagged on my ****." "Big is it?" She giggled.













I said, "No, I never wash it."
 
Mate its people who had no clue about their own car only a few days ago, who have now read a few threads and are all experts! all they seem to do is dish out bad advice to new members who then go on to do the same thing in a vicious circle...
 
Help and correct their error.
Hopefully it won't happen again.

I don't even own a 8L and noticed a bit of a repetitive question and answer going on.

I'm Sat in Tesco waiting for the jet wash eating discounted sandwiches and chocolate.
O what a life.
 
It's the high life that's for sure.

Now sat in Sainsbury's watching the world go buy as I wait for the misses to let me know she's ready for collection.
 
Lol Scott, Real life rock ;)


Ok who wants to take the **** !! Guess what this genius did the other morning!!


Well I set off bright and early heading for Falkirk, just as I hit the borders I pull into shell and top the octavia up as I'm on half a tank and didn't know when I might hit another shell garage.
I drive aprox 90miles then notice the car wants to stall when dropping under 80mpg. ( at this point I'm thinking it's the on going very intermittent fault Iv had for ages where I loose power, like the turbo drops out at around 70/80 mph) anyways I only have a few miles to go till I reach my first job of the day. As I pull down to the T jct comming off the slip road it dies!!


0.7 miles from the job :banghead:


09:30- Calls AA. "we'll be with you by 11:00"
11:15- AA Txt me to say we'r running late.
11:59- AA roll up
13:00 arrive at job behind the yellow van :(
I litrally threw the job in as I had to yet travel to Pitlochry to start an install.
14:45 AA fuel assist roll up. Cost £185
15:20 Go looking for a Shell station!!




The motto of tonight's little blunder, Brought to you direct from I'mafknmoron.com is... don't bang half a tank of frigging unleaded into a DERV!!!!!!!!!






Espcially Vpower !!:banghead: Fk :banghead::banghead: fkn :banghead::banghead: Fk :banghead:Fk
 
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s3 Hoggy said:
Mate its people who had no clue about their own car only a few days ago, who have now read a few threads and are all experts! all they seem to do is dish out bad advice to new members who then go on to do the same thing in a vicious circle...
Click to expand...

Hope this isn't aimed at me....being a new member within the last few days :sorry:
 
It's not aimed at you but also I'm not going to say who I was talking about mate
 
damo.h said:
The motto of tonight's little blunder, Brought to you direct from I'mafknmoron.com is... don't bang half a tank of frigging unleaded into a DERV!!!!!!!!!
Click to expand...

I'm shocked you never tried putting coal in it and wonder where the boiler is.
Well, more shocking than that is the fact you put petrol init when all you drive is a diesel, that sort of action would make people think that you own and drive a petrol car every now and then.

quattrojames said:
:lmfao: We've all done it!

Oh no, wait. We haven't.

:salute:
Click to expand...

People with lesser years and experience can be forgiven but people with years and that thing that meant to come with years, wisdom, can't and wont be forgiven.

Damo, You idiot. :p

s3 Hoggy said:
It's not aimed at you but also I'm not going to say who I was talking about mate
Click to expand...

Name and shame with quotes, pictures and links.

I'm off to the 8L section to ask about DVs, B5s, FMIC and other things that seem to crop up all the time over there. lol
 
audi upgrades
ScottB5 said:
I'm shocked you never tried putting coal in it and wonder where the boiler is.
Well, more shocking than that is the fact you put petrol init when all you drive is a diesel, that sort of action would make people think that you own and drive a petrol car every now and then.



People with lesser years and experience can be forgiven but people with years and that thing that meant to come with years, wisdom, can't and wont be forgiven.

Damo, You idiot. :p
Click to expand...


Remf!!! Now your just being cheeky lol, , I was about to open up a can of burgundy derv whoop ***..... but I wont. ;)

So what's the plans peeps. I'm off out in the rain with two dippy Labrador, then the lil dude's having his bezzy mate over for the day. Looks like I'll be having a fun packed day getting battered of a couple of two yr olds lol.
 
damo.h said:
So what's the plans peeps. I'm off out in the rain with two dippy Labrador, then the lil dude's having his bezzy mate over for the day. Looks like I'll be having a fun packed day getting battered of a couple of two yr olds lol.
Click to expand...

I've got the dreaded day visit to the in-laws. Does that beat being battered by two hyporactive 2 year olds? lol
 
Nothing that I can think of.
I might pop out get some fuel, some fabric glue and finish off my boot.

Got a couple of things I could possible wrap that might be a bit of a challenge, so I'll do them as well I think.
 
ShaunS3 said:
I've got the dreaded day visit to the in-laws. Does that beat being battered by two hyporactive 2 year olds? lol
Click to expand...

Ill stick it out with the kids lol

ScottB5 said:
Nothing that I can think of.
I might pop out get some fuel, some fabric glue and finish off my boot.

Got a couple of things I could possible wrap that might be a bit of a challenge, so I'll do them as well I think.
Click to expand...

Is this for the sides dude?? Not like you to drag a mod out.... You got some rubber on them rims yet ;)
 
damo! you silly billy!
did you break the octo then?
did you cry when they poured all that petrol down the drain? (if thats what they do! think of the fishys dude!)
i would have collected it all and tried to sell it back to the shell garage lol!

ads, you do realise your stuck with that now for a month or something dude! reminds me of a time when some plank decided to call themselves badsanta! :undwech:


scott, get them rims rubbered up dude! they must have an inch of dust on them by now man! jeez!

anyway, night shift beckons for me! boo hoo! not much pub activity for me this weekend chaps!

as you were....................................
 
Quiet in here chaps. Whats going on, you all in the real pub, lol.
 
CHEZ said:
not got the lips for it mate!................................:)
Click to expand...

So that's what you two where up to in the lav at ADI :sex:

Fuel drain and fill ups where taken care of via a very understanding boss mate.


Im blaming the EBV. ;)


Maaaan I'm goosed, just got back from the play centre. My hoody is covered in Noah's mates blood.... Oops I think we've broke him lol.




What to tell his mummy :think:
 
Sandra said:
Quiet in here chaps. Whats going on, you all in the real pub, lol.
Click to expand...

No such luck I'm afraid Sandy, trying to get blood out of a grey hoody ATM lol

how you this rainy afternoon ??
 
Sandra said:
Eventful few days then Damo. :)
Click to expand...

To say the least lol, was looking fwd to a nice rd trip and a couple of easy days.... Just went out the window really and turned into a mad one
 
damo.h said:
No such luck I'm afraid Sandy, trying to get blood out of a grey hoody ATM lol

how you this rainy afternoon ??
Click to expand...

Im having a lazy day oday Damo. What happened to Noah's friend?
Its not raining here Damo. Next time your up here give me a shout, i may even take you to lunch if you behave, lol. :) sorry i wasnt free last few days while you were here, i had other stuff going on.
 
Damo, bycarb of soda or what evre its called.
That stuff that goes fizzy when you put it in water.

Sandra, sat at home playing with some carpet and wrap.
Gave up with the wrapping and completed my boot build.
On to the next project now..............soon as the parts turn up.
 
Sandra said:
Im having a lazy day oday Damo. What happened to Noah's friend?
Its not raining here Damo. Next time your up here give me a shout, i may even take you to lunch if you behave, lol. :) sorry i wasnt free last few days while you were here, i had other stuff going on.
Click to expand...

Its ok I was out of area anyhoo. Some amazing scenery around Pitlochry I nearly ditch the car swan necking lol

Erm and when have you known me not to behave ;)

ScottB5 said:
Damo, bycarb of soda or what evre its called.
That stuff that goes fizzy when you put it in water.

On to the next project now..............soon as the parts turn up.
Click to expand...

Thanks dude, the mrs just passes me a tub of said soda, can you believe we actually have a book " 101 things to do with bicarbonate soda"

I didnt even know lol


So what's on the cards next?? Think you need to do the slam panel in fussy lol

Was thinking about doing my centre caps gloss black but don't know if it'll just look plain gash :think:
 
Don't do it.
I photoshopped my car with some coloured centre caps and it looked proper gashy.

I should get some parts next week to finish off my heated seats and some extra bits to mod.
 
Goes to look for long rope and a banister ;)
I quite liked that will have to a look, I'm listening to this
as I collect a million bits of toys scattered around the lounge. Gotta love kids ;)
 
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^seen them live, one of my fav bands!

the chris cornell album i bought is called songbook, a live acoustic album, 16 tracks. his voice is superb, a modern david coverdale meets robert plant, love it just to relax to and enjoy his voice.

it makes a change from listening to stuff like this:
[ytv]F2Dy9K7ohfY[/ytv]
which makes me drive like a MANIAC

btw that live version of destroy the map is pretty poor, they were far better than that when i saw them.
the original CD version:
[ytv]rqx7CzXV9ks[/ytv]
 
superkarl said:
dear oh dear scott! please say you didnt!
Click to expand...
Yup.
Both albums in the changer, along with 50 Cent, System Of A Down and some other random stuff.

I miss my sierra

MyPictures0014.jpg
 
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