ASN's Pub

Ssshhh.

I am actually about to have my Tesco Fishermans Pie, and i know it is not going to satisfy the cravings i now have.
 
mikeyg said:
I am actually about to have my Tesco Fishermans Pie
Click to expand...

Is that code for 'the snatch of a till operator'??

Tesco Mary's???

SNN2804MARY-280_1114826a.jpg
 
im so quiet at work this afternoon, sat here on ASN listening to Jadakiss whilst searching Pistonheads as per norm...

i do need to change my Credit Card to a 0% but cant be assed to sit on the phone or fill the forms!
 
Well finished my fishermans pie, and all i could think of is does Mary Byrne taste like that? :think:
 
audi upgrades
S3RYE said:
im so quiet at work this afternoon, sat here on ASN listening to Jadakiss whilst searching Pistonheads as per norm...

i do need to change my Credit Card to a 0% but cant be assed to sit on the phone or fill the forms!
Click to expand...

Barclays are offering 0% till June 2012 on BT's
But if you already a customer and have a good amount ran up I'd use their loophole and get 6.9% for the life of the BT.

Work is soooo **** today been sat on my *** in a peugeot breakers waiting for an activation code for some call recording Sw. V boring indeed
 
audi upgrades
damo.h said:
Barclays are offering 0% till June 2012 on BT's
But if you already a customer and have a good amount ran up I'd use their loophole and get 6.9% for the life of the BT.

Work is soooo **** today been sat on my *** in a peugeot breakers waiting for an activation code for some call recording Sw. V boring indeed
Click to expand...

yeh im already on BC but wanted to change so i could get 0% for a few months till im paid off! currently paying 30% Apr :crying:
 
mikeyg said:
Some interesting tips coming out here! Do you think my missus will question my new watermellon cravings when she goes shopping?
Click to expand...

Tell her your on a health trip and you want some healthy foods.
Just make sure you bin it after.

Scott's Top Tip of the day - All ways bin used watermellons.
 
Axios said:
Tell her your on a health trip and you want some healthy foods.
Just make sure you bin it after.

Scott's Top Tip of the day - All ways bin used watermellons.
Click to expand...

I think a topper tip would be to never eat binned water melons! Coming at it from a different angle, because afterall it has been cummed at from one angle as it is!
 
Seriously though, on a night of intense horn Tesco Mary might get it.

What's the worse people have done on a night when they just had to have some action???

For me....

I was involved in a bit of foreplay with a bird I'd met up with for the first time, got her down to her knickers, put my head under the covers to have a quick look at the knickers and then pull them off, when I was met by an odour that could only be described as a 2 year old prawn with a bit of tabasco sprinkled on it.
The smell grabbed my nose like it does in the cartoons.

Anyway, I came back up for some air, thought about whether I'd prefer to go home still with the horn, or get rid of the horn with a bit of vomit too.

I opted to add some sausage to her prawn sandwich.

I wasn't proud, but I was satisfied.
 
S3RYE said:
yeh im already on BC but wanted to change so i could get 0% for a few months till im paid off! currently paying 30% Apr :crying:
Click to expand...

30% Robbin tw@'s I'm looking in to mine at the mo. Think I'll do 6 month of juggling @ 0% then wack it all back to barclays if nothing else turns up.
 
damo.h said:
30% Robbin tw@'s I'm looking in to mine at the mo. Think I'll do 6 month of juggling @ 0% then wack it all back to barclays if nothing else turns up.
Click to expand...

Now I know how you all afford your S3's! :laugh:

There are some shocking credit card rates out there. Hope you get some good 0% deals!!!
 
aythreee said:
Seriously though, on a night of intense horn Tesco Mary might get it.

What's the worse people have done on a night when they just had to have some action???

For me....

I was involved in a bit of foreplay with a bird I'd met up with for the first time, got her down to her knickers, put my head under the covers to have a quick look at the knickers and then pull them off, when I was met by an odour that could only be described as a 2 year old prawn with a bit of tabasco sprinkled on it.
The smell grabbed my nose like it does in the cartoons.

Anyway, I came back up for some air, thought about whether I'd prefer to go home still with the horn, or get rid of the horn with a bit of vomit too.

I opted to add some sausage to her prawn sandwich.

I wasn't proud, but I was satisfied.
Click to expand...

Thats some sick **** right there!! :puke2:

I've banged some mingers but nothing that smelt so bad.

I did shag a bird who was big but not fat, either way she broke my bed.
we finished off, I went off to have a shower and made her fix my bed.
 
Axios said:
Double check the size you need before buying your pot of fun.
There is nothing worth having a normal pot when you need a king, getting carried away and damaging one self.
Click to expand...

You'd be gutted if she came home with the pre packed sliced option lol
 
Axios said:
Thats some sick **** right there!! :puke2:

I've banged some mingers but nothing that smelt so bad.

I did shag a bird who was big but not fat, either way she broke my bed.
we finished off, I went off to have a shower and made her fix my bed.
Click to expand...

I'm sure she felt ace after that! lol.

Trying to think of any stories...hmmmmmmmmmm. Nope, it appears i've only doinked hot girls, wahooooo! (of course i'm massively lying)
 
Once got railroaded by the lads into taking this fat lass home after making her cry in a kebab shop long story short she was 17 stone, elastic pants and a right hippocrockapig ! Woke up to find her sat up in bed with a cup of coffee smiling at me like I was a god. ( prob due to not being able to shoot my load cos she was that fugly) but she thought my lasting power was second to none;)
Anyway looked at the clock.... **** I'm late!! And with that I was off. No kisses no I'll see you again just out the door like linford. Then spent the next 2 yrs dodging the fat mess.
Still scared to this day.
 
I remember another time that I banged a girl that I didn't really want to. I went to her house, did the deed, and at the moment of release it was like someone opened my cranium, removed my brain which didn't mind the girl and replaced it with one that hated her. I had to get out of there and never come back, sooooo.......
I got up, said I had to go to the shop to get something to eat, went downstairs and got straight into my car, closed my car door (which she must've heard, as next......), my mobile rang with her saying....... "why are you taking your car, it's only around the corner?!".
I told her I had to get some money from the glovebox and said I'd see her in a few minutes.
I looked up and saw her leaning out of the window, so I had to walk around the corner, wait for a few minutes until she had gone back inside, then I went back to my car, got in it and took the handbrake off and rolled down the road, holding the door open with one hand and steering with the other.

It was like the east london version of the great escape.
 
crazy88 said:
Now I know how you all afford your S3's! :laugh:

There are some shocking credit card rates out there. Hope you get some good 0% deals!!!
Click to expand...

Never been a fan of CC's but the missus got made redundant while 6 month preggers. ********!
So the plastic needed to come out after the saving had been eaten.

the car was bought cash the day after the missus handed the company car in.
Was it a sensible move at a time like that?? I think so ;)
 
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