****** women....

Welly

Welly

335D Driver :-)
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This is the transcript of a conversation I have just had with the missus.

Thought it was mildly amusing...

*Background - Discussing the fact I am a bit Skint because it's christmas etc etc etc*


The Girlfriend says:
no sympathy.... lol
you decide to spend all that on your car
Alex says:
Hmmmm.
Ahh well.
The Girlfriend says:
one day you might learn its not all worth it....
hopefully
Alex says:
Hmmm, I enjoy it. It's no different to having a horse.
The Girlfriend says:
i dont spend any money on the horse
Alex says:
You need to look after it, pay for the vets and blacksmith fees, fuel it, just so you can ride it.
The Girlfriend says:
yeah but you spend more than just on the stuff you HAVE to get...
you buy things you dont need to
Alex says:
So you NEED new bridles, coats etc etc etc
You never EVER buy them because you just want a new one?
The Girlfriend says:
i barely ride the horse thank you!
Alex says:
lol
I'm just using it as an example...
See my point?
All hobbies cost money
End of.
The Girlfriend says:
nope
Alex says:
Sadly, mine is particularly expensive, but I do enjoy it
The Girlfriend says:
but ok
Alex says:
You don't see my point??!
Are you actual retarded?


The term 'Are you actual retarded' ended that conversation....

Hmmmm.
 
Last edited:
and apparently you can't reason with them lol
 
if it wasn`t for the obvious then men would never live with women.

You got my vote when a horse was mentioned, they should brand them with their road tax :) about as much use as cats imo
 
You can live with then you just have to develop selective hearing, and just in case invest in gaffa tape.
 
I actually just proper laughed at this thread, so funny! We have had the same conversation so many times (me and my wife, not your girlfriend ha). I love how bluntly you ended it though, i'm sure that didn't go down too well.

And no, there is no reasoning with women at all. Just sex, and that makes up for everything.
 
crazy88 said:
I actually just proper laughed at this thread, so funny! We have had the same conversation so many times (me and my wife, not your girlfriend ha). I love how bluntly you ended it though, i'm sure that didn't go down too well.

And no, there is no reasoning with women at all. Just sex, and that makes up for everything.
Click to expand...

Yarp. Blunt is the way forward. I won't be told I waste my money on the car (even though I actually do).
 
I won't even start to tell the total utter bullsh*t "logic" that my girlfriend uses in our arguments.

In fact, I will.......

The silly slapper the other day put my safety at risk just so she could have the last word in an argument.
I needed her to hold a ladder for me while I climbed it. I got half way up the ladder, looked down, and noticed that she was only holding one side of it. I asked VERY POLITELY "Can you hold it with two hands please, because if it twists you won't be able to hold it in place properly".
The cow said "No, it's ok, I'll hold it with one hand".
I tried to explain again why she hold it with two hands, so what does she do....... rests her knee on one of the ladder's rungs and says "There we go!".

That was it.... I lost it with her big time, because I knew she was being awkward just for the sake of it, like a 4 year old child would.

Needless to say she told me to... "f*ck off, fall and break your neck, I don't care!"

What a b*tch!
Still love her though.
 
There should actually be government funded AA type meetings where men can go to exchange stories of when their missus has acted like a complete mong.
Hearing other people's stories is the only thing that stops me falling into a deep depression, because it makes me realise that its not just me who has ended up with the stupidest most unreasonable woman on the planet.

To be fair... In general, she's pretty smart. But in an argument with me she turns into the biggest f*ckwit ever produced.
 
hahaha this thread has me giggling.

My most recent gf, now ex, was also very smart, but blimey, when it came to arguments she was the most annoying stupid cow i have ever known!

We were recently thinking of giving things another go, but then when i hear stories like this, and the stupid debates you get into, i think im happier at the moment just having random women every now and then haha :w00t:
 
ha! The logic never surprises me! I can see why people are gay....actually, no I can't. I'd still rather live with a pleb of a wife than a guy (no offense anyone!!)

My wife gets a right potty mouth when i make her angry too, it's proper funny. She hates swearing normally, but when she gets mad all the foul words come out. The problem is, this makes me giggle which makes her more angry ha!
 
i just had a phone call from my missus asking what WERE doing tonight... (seems like shes already decided im not allowed to see my mates in her eyes) i said i dunno then she moans about how we never do anything.. i asked her to suggest something then shes says she dont know...

So she moans that i dont know and she doesnt know herself?!?!? wtf

and last weekshe come to pick me up before we went out and i was a bit late coming out. 5-10mins. So when i picked her up a few days ago she purposely waited til she was 10 mins late before she come outside. I could see her in the living room watching tele checking the time on her phone..

whats the point in that?!?

I done the old drive forward everytime she reached for the handle trick. ****** her off but then she done the usual and slammed my door which ****** me off more! they do know how to get under ur skin!
 
Well, it's just got worse... She came to meet me at work for lunch, and to pick up some printing I had done for her. She's at uni, and they charge 50p per A4 colour sheet. To save her some money, I took her flash drive to work and printed them for her, despite not being supposed to...

Anyway....

So I say 'Text me when you are outside'.

Get a text later saying 'I've been here waiting for 10 mins'.

I grab my stuff and head for the lifts... On the way to the lifts, I get collared by a senior partner who tells me that the 100 sales people out in the field's Blackberrys have stopped working, and that I need to look at it right now.

Fair enough.

Wander downstairs.

Open the door and give the missus the printing, and give her the news I won't be able to go for lunch, and she actually wheel span off in a temper saying I had 'wasted her time' etc etc etc.

Clearly forgot about the free printing then.

*****.
 
Dave, that is quality mate! Your missus sounds like a legend! haha. I particularly love the line where she says she doesn't know herself anymore. wtf indeed.
 
We need an official "what random, inappropriate rant has your mrs done today" thread. I can't remember any now, but if we had an official thread i could update it whenever she acts like a spaz...which is quite often.
 
HAHAHAHAHAHA I love that. Women are fu*king idiots! Its official!

DaveA3, I used to do the same thing when my ex would take ages getting to the car or i just wanted to annoy her, wait till she grabs the handle then drive off hahaah we are so immature! And funnily enough, she would also slam my door which i she knew i HATED with a passion!!!
 
They can't all be mad, can they???
 
a3_dan said:
DaveA3, I used to do the same thing when my ex would take ages getting to the car or i just wanted to annoy her, wait till she grabs the handle then drive off
Click to expand...

There is one thing that is even funnier than driving off as she tries to grab the door handle.....

Next time she is at the back of the car, bending over and putting something in the boot..... drive off!!
She'll look like a right pleb standing in the road bending forward with nothing in front of her.
Soooooo funny!!

Try it next time.
 
crazy88 - she is a pain the **** sometimes but i do love her for it. It keeps things alive if u like

Aythreee thats quality ill give it a go! :laugh:

damn straight Dan *high five*! :)
 
I can't wait to drive away as she goes to put something in the boot! Excellent idea. How about reversing too? Or is that just a step too far?
 
haha you could give that a go, but be prepared to then quickly put it in 1st and get out of there quick before anyone sees....
 
Notice how its coming up to a full moon......?
Its all part of the irrational cycle that its moon versus women. Understand the moon = understanding your partner. Know where the lows are and avoid confrontation, understand where the highs are and take as much advantage of the situation as you can :yes:
Trust me, you will thank me for this. I have been married very happily for nearly 20 years, how do you think I do it?


Stolen off interweb.
Although the connection between the moon and our bodies is not fully understood, the fact remains that we are affected by the moon's phases. Most notably, our moods and emotions tend to peak when the moon is full. This is backed up by the fact that doctors and nurses who work in emergency rooms have said over and over again that their busiest night of the month always occurs when the moon is full. Women, however, have long held a connection with the moon.
Charting the menstrual period according to the moon is one of the oldest forms of menstrual calendars. In fact, it is believed that the first calendars were based upon women's charts of their menstrual cycles and the moon cycles.
 
sidibear said:
Notice how its coming up to a full moon......?
Its all part of the irrational cycle that its moon versus women. Understand the moon = understanding your partner. Know where the lows are and avoid confrontation, understand where the highs are and take as much advantage of the situation as you can :yes:
Trust me, you will thank me for this. I have been married very happily for nearly 20 years, how do you think I do it?


Stolen off interweb.
Although the connection between the moon and our bodies is not fully understood, the fact remains that we are affected by the moon's phases. Most notably, our moods and emotions tend to peak when the moon is full. This is backed up by the fact that doctors and nurses who work in emergency rooms have said over and over again that their busiest night of the month always occurs when the moon is full. Women, however, have long held a connection with the moon.
Charting the menstrual period according to the moon is one of the oldest forms of menstrual calendars. In fact, it is believed that the first calendars were based upon women's charts of their menstrual cycles and the moon cycles.
Click to expand...

So what you're saying is that women are werewolves??

make____it____stop____by_anamericanwerewolf.jpg
 
OK, sadly I gave in. I was crushed by the pressure....

I just bought her a sandwich for her and walked it up to her uni. (about a mile or so)

Got there, went and found her and she didn't look remotely surprised... and said 'Oh thanks'.

Hmmmmm.

Cost of sandwich: £2.

Cost of walking to uni: 1 Cigarette.

The look of disbelief at the lack of gratitude: Priceless.

Mental note here: When I next decide to do something nice. Don't.
 
Women are so ****** ungrateful...You're a better man than me, i wouldnt have bothered, moody poxy mooses haha.

So with regards to the moon etc, when is the best time to take advantage? :jump:
 
a3_dan said:
So with regards to the moon etc, when is the best time to take advantage? :jump:
Click to expand...

Well, if my mrs is the 'general trend' it was the last few nights for me! She's been like a dog on heat, hahaha. Not that i'm complaining, quite the opposite in fact. I have a permanent smile on my face at the moment. :w00t::eyebrows::w00t:


And Welly, i'm sure inside she very much appreciated it. Perhaps tonight she will make all your wildest fantasies come true?! :wub:

Oh, and Aythreee, that pics is just so wrong. I actually saw a woman once with arms just as hairy, ha! Poor lady
 
yeh most women are manipulative bitches who try anything to **** you off and turn your ego into dust.

Then, when they eventually come around and 'calmed down' they're nice as pie! they are true psychotic weirdos!!!

until the next time... (which is probably just around the corner....)
 
I think the clue to this is in the title, '******' women haha
 
this thread is legend.. must be something in the air at the moment... mines behaving rather bad lately..

im crackin up at some of these comments.. and yeh they are totally ungrateful :banghead:
 
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