Rant: Armco

Well firstly an apology; if any of you got stuck in traffic on the M6 southbound on Sunday afternoon after about 14:15 around the Standish area, I'm very sorry.

Now the Rant...

Why the hell isn't the Armco in the central reservation on motorways a 200 yard wide layer of strawberry jelly and feathers?!?

(You can see where this is going, right?...)

OK, I was on my way down to see the focus of my affections on Sunday afternoon, I'd been re-routed closer to home for traffic but was now on the motorway and making progress. There was a bit of traffic on the motorway but it was all moving quick enough and the outside lane was pretty clear and flowing at around the limit. I had the Sat Nav on and a good selection of tunes and everything seemed sweet...

There was probably 50-100 yards between me and the car leading me, and he passed a red Fiesta which signalled to join our lane, as he was moving a bit slower I started to graze the brake as I approached him to maintain the distance. The car started to slow gently and then after a couple of seconds felt like it aquaplaned (I say felt because although the road was wet I didn't notice anything that looked deep enough to be particularly worried about), or maybe it just skidded/slid; it all happened so quickly I'm still not sure what happened. Either way though, I was out of shape with wheels over the rumble-strip at the central reservation rather quickly and the car was tracking a really unattractive wiggle instead of a nice straight line which I was trying to regain. Thankfully my ability didn't run out before I thought to not just jump hard on the brakes, but nothing else was going to help me after that as I'd already got into the very beginnings of a slide towards the Armco. A fraction of an instant later and my baby A3, probably still doing perhaps 60mph, hit the barrier pretty much square-on and started to spin. Just before I struck the barrier I remembered to move my thumbs, bend my elbows and lift my knees - but thanks to Fritz at Ingolstadt I needn't have worried. Anyway, back to the pirouette... I let it go round once, trying to use steering only to stop me from pinballing-around too much; and once it had done one rotation I started to use the brakes again too. I think it got through another spin and a half before it stopped; thankfully without straying into the path of any other traffic, but none the less facing the wrong way in the outside lane of the M6.

Dr Fritz as mentioned played his part beautifully, I looked down and noticed that all of me was still attached, turned the ignition off, pressed the hazard switch and tentatively went to get out of the car and on to the shoulder.

A generous member of the persuing traffic had stopped and already called the police - big thanks to the chap in the black Seat! - and it wasn't long before the cavalry started to arrive.

First on the scene was a Lancs. officer wondering what the traffic was, GMP (who's patch it was just inside) arrived a few minutes later. Anyway, after checking that there were no injuries or other problems, he asked me if I could face getting back into my car and helping him tow it to the hard shoulder; which I promptly did. Once we'd done that GMP and the Highways Agency started to arrive. I was informally asked what'd happened by a GMP officer, and he asked the Lancs chap if I'd given a sample of breath yet, as I hadn't that was the next thing that happened. He looked at the machine and with a puzzled face silently showed it to his colleague who pulled a similar face and said: "Sir, at this point I have to ask you if you've had a drink in the last 12 hours" - I promptly laid a brick and worridly replied "No, the last drink I had was a bottle of Becks and half a glass of red wine on Christmas day" (note: I've been doing a LOT of driving lately!) - "Ah that explains it then" was his response, which I took to mean it must've been a 0.00 Anyway after that not much more was said and done (no questioning or statement or anything like that (they didn't even want to know how fast I was going?)), most of the police officers jumped in a BMW estate that had turned up, presumably to have a play with it as it looked brand new. The highways agency sorted the road out (closing a bit of the outside lane - I'm sorry!), and waited for grit to arrive.

The recovery truck came and pulled the wreckage of my car onboard and off we went. So, I'm currently sat here waiting for my car to be written off and an offer to be made on it, thanking my lucky stars it wasn't worse for me and of course the traffic I might've pinballed-into. Oh, you might call me soft but the maddest part is that I'm more ****** off I didn't get to see my girl than that my car's totalled!

Anyway, just thought I'd let you know what's happened, apologise for the traffic, and offer a reminder of just how good a car to have a crash in your Audi is - the Police, Highways Agency and my Dad (a retired Firefighter of 40 years) all remarked that if I was in anything less I'd probably have suffered serious injuries, if not worse...



That's how it looked after it was hauled out of the outside lane; apologies for the picture quality but I was still shaking a bit when I took it!

Anyway, to summarise, I wish the Armco was a big thick layer of jelly and feathers! I might not be looking for a new car now!

Regards,

Rob.

Cheers folks

missm - no comment

joost - it'd be nice mate, but I can imagine that phone call heheh...

"Well, it's a shame that's your last offer but I suppose it'll have to do. Now, while I've got you on the phone, I've just picked up my new car and I need a quote, it was only £27,000, double and a bit the power of the last one, and I don't have any of that pesky no claims bonus stuff to bother you with..."

Regards,

Rob.

Thanks again folks...

And no Chris, Airbags didn't deploy, but I have a theory about that one...

Regards,

Rob.

Sorry folks, prepare for another essay...

Firstly, OutLore, Beerzo, Ming Blue, JoJo, Defratos, hop2407, Mart, mawhitey, silver75, Jaywoo_A3, ChriS3, and all those who I'd previously responded to, a big thanks again to you all for your kind messages of support! Also an apology to you all for taking so long to reply; I have been rather preoccupied for the past few days though!

Next, just to answer a few points...

On the Airbag issue... It's something that I'll have to question a bit further to get to the bottom of, but after some work on the car I had an airbag light; that had been rectified but I had seen it twice since. Oddly enough it seemed to vanish on its own though - and I didn't think that Airbag lights could do that, I was pretty sure that any code stored that threw a light would be persistent until the condition resolved and the code cleared. Like I say, I'm going to do some investigating and I'll report back what I find out.

Chris - To be honest bud, I guess there might be a chance that somehow I didn't quite decelerate in the manner that would trigger them, but of course there's a chance something wasn't quite right. Either way if I think about it I'm pretty glad they didn't. As I drive I have my knees quite high and close to the dashboard, but lean the seat back a fair amount (I've a bit of an old-man back) so unless I'd installed another engine and a rocket so my little 1.6 could generate some more energy for the inertia there's not much chance of me hitting the wheel unless a) I'm not wearing my seatbelt (and as mentioned, my Dad was a Firefighter for a long time at various stations near the major motorways of the north west so I've heard enough stories to mean that's something I'll always do) or b) Audi's engineering doesn't perform as well as it did and the wheel comes to meet me; so I'd rather not have the explosion in my face of it isn't really going to do any good - I'm sure that would be scarier than the actual crash!

Ming Blue - I'm quite possibly mad, but I think it's a seperate issue that she's awesome! (Most would argue I was mad loooong before I met her! )

Defratos - My apology was deadly serious mate... Having sat in enough traffic through pointless accidents, I like everyone, know what it can be like; and I was cringing every time I saw an Audi passing! - There was even an S3 (pre-facelift, black with *I think* Avus, and on a W-plate as I remember (always spotting! :thumbsup).

Mart - now that's scary mate! Your description of the accident is enough, and then looking at the front end of the motor it's amazing the rest isn't the same - looks like the passenger protection measures employed for the cabin did well again though - just like mine, there's not been enough movement in any of the pillars to even crack the glass! I bet you still put some lottery numbers on after that though!

mawhitey - I've gotta say it's yet another example of why I am constantly impressed by the engineering that goes into VAG motors - OK, they're only just figuring out how to make them go round corners a bit better, but when you look at things like their past developments (conveniently forgetting their pioneering FWD) - V-engines, quattro, TDI (not just the R10, going back to their pretty much invention of it), lightweight materials; and more recently stuff like the Veyron, and a Touareg towing a 747 (good engine mounts or what!) - leaving out countless others - and right down to what I've experienced... A pretty good smash and not a single mark on me to show for it. I can confidently say that unless there's a radical change in the way VAG do things I'm more than happy to be driving one of theirs.
...And on your other point, it's all good - I hired a car this weekend (with enough of a row to not get a 1.0 fiesta or other such roller-skate) so we got to spend some time together which was a great way to forget last weeked Also putting 900 miles on a car Enterprise (and here's my review - WALK BEFORE YOU DEAL WITH THESE CLOWNS!) didn't want me to have over only three days added extra entertainment!

siver75 - you're a legend mate! ...And no. Thankfully my good buddy Jim donated some time and the use of his works' van not long after the car began its wait at the recovery compound (thankfully we got some time due to a power cable coming down and blocking access for larger salvage vehicles). We were very much 'raiders of the lost Audi' - I'd already stripped my Audio kit but we managed to recover the rest of the stuff that I wouldn't get substantially more payout for I'm not sure whether the next one's going to be an A3, an A4, a Golf or who knows yet (I even spotted a rare and stunning example of a Jetta but that's out of the running), so there's a chance I'll ride again in the same Recaros; I'll let you know what happens though!

Jaywoo_A3 - I know, a bit more work and it would probably have been back on top-form again. No use dwelling on it though; at least I'll have a blank canvas to play with again (*notices credit card companies getting excited*). I'm still sorting out the paperwork and the discussions with my Insurance company regarding the pay out at the moment so no new car yet fella; of course I'll let you all know what it is - I'm hoping for four more rings!

Anyway, like I say, I'm still doing paperwork and arguing but hopefully I'll be able to get a figure to add to the 'new car pot' soon. I certainly don't want to be hiring crap cars from clueless people for much longer. I have considered persuing some three-day test drives over the next weekend or two though!

Once again, thanks to you all for your support!

Regards,

Rob.