As the title suggests,
the story is as follows!
i purchased my car about a year ago after falling in love with it! i felt the build quality was fantastic and the car had been looked after!
so, soon after, when collecting the wife from work etc when she was getting in and out of my car she constantly decided to slam my doors!
i explained " this is an audi dear, and the doors do not have to be slammed" as they basically close themselves!
to which she replied " sorry, i didn"t realise i was slamming the doors dear!"
this theme continued for about 5 or 6 times and was slowly driving me up the wall with her ignorance/forgetfullness!
so the next time she did it, i warned her in a serious frowny face, that she has 3 more door slamming incidents and then she is banned from my car!
feeling that i had proved to her the magnitude of my problem verbally, i thought the issue had been put to bed!
over the following months she did get better at learning the nack of closing my doors rather than slamming them like an old transit van, but sadly there was still the stray incident when she would really "pull it off the hinges!"
she shortly recieved strike 1, first warning if you will!
this quickly esculated to strike 2 when she was rushing, and there were numerous incidents i turned a blind eye (or ear) as i feel these were accidental or i was in a good mood!
soon, these warnings finally reached strike 3! transport critical mode! aka get the bus syndrome!
so for the last few months, the mrs has been on her last final warning!, and i felt that finally she had become to appreciate the audi and that my car really did matter!
then today, all of this got blown out of the water! quite literally the sh!t hit the fan!
on collecting the wife from work, everything went smoothly and on plan,
on collecting our daughter from her grans, everything appeared to be on course for an average daily commute!,
when driving off, i turned on the climate control and adsjusted the temp to 24*, and set off,
soon after, aprox 1 minute after, i noticed a nasty wiff in the cabin!
i turned to my wife and asked " can you smell anything dear?"
she replied " yes darling, i can smell poo"
my stomach churned!
i found a safe place to pull over and have footwear check!
baby, all clear! me, nope, my lovely white dc trainers were still box fresh and dapper!
wife, oh dear! boots smeared in peanut butter that just did not smell like peanut butter!
hmmmmmmmm! i thought how jolly upsetting!
i instructed my wife to remove the offending boot, and i placed in a carrier bag in the boot!
no appology at this point was given by my wife i must add!
after disposing of mentioned boot, i turned my attention to the fully tailored car mat that the offending article was resting on!
and sure enough, caked in peanut butter colour k9 faeces of unknown origin!
i unclipped my mat and placed this in the boot also!
again, no apology was given!
i bit angry by this i asked if my wife was willing to clean my mat for me as a gesture of good will!
she barked back at me, " i am not cleaning that!, thats not my fault, i didn"t do it on purpose, its not my dog shizzle!"
great i thought! i told her i knew it was not hers and indeed she did not mean to do it but the fact of the matter was, its all over my mat and somebody has to do it!
i asked who was going to do it then? the fairies?
she said she was not bothered and she was not!
this got me agitated!, so in a frowny face suggested that i will have to do it!
she replied " yes you will"
well that was it! i am sorry, i can take quite a bit of rudeness, but she crossed the line right then!
so i declared that indeed i would clean the mat
never ever ever ever ever ever ever, EVER is she getting in my car again!
she promptly barked back " not bothered" in a very 12 year old way that had the effect of trying to put a fire out with petrol!
so there you go!
one banned mrs from the audi!
as you were............................ rant over.......................