Thread: Is this worth losing a friend over?

Said friend is a good friend, I trust him 9 days out of 10, buy that, I mean I would trust him to carry £1k of my own money and hang around a casino for 24hrs, and he would give me £1k back untouched, but the other one day, he can be a bit of a cnut, spend the £1k, and pretend he dropped it, so this is where we are at.

Reason for this thread is, I actually couldn't sleep over this last night, it's regarding an item, lets call this itemX, as he can be a bit of a troll sometimes, with 'spies' dotted all over the place, as he likes to have the upper hand when it comes to confrontation, which isn't exactly my strong point.

So ItemX is worth anything between £6-800 in good working condition, I have one that's not in great shape, so essential worthless to most people, but my mate can fix it. I have been offered £250 for it from another guy who I don't know very well, but my mate said he can fix it, so I asked him if he wanted to fix it, and whatever I sell it for, I'd split it 50/50 with him, e.g. if I sold it for £600, we would get £300 each! - Win/win for him right?!

So I gave him the item for 2 weeks now, and he hasn't touched it, ok, he's told me he is busy, so fair enough. But out of the blue yesterday, he just called me up and said he wanted to keep itemX, and offered me £150 for it, knowing full well, I have someone offered me £250 for it! I was driving at the time, so didn't agree to anything, but come the evening, I went over to see him, and I basically told him he's not having it for £150, but he was asking me to help him out, as he was struggling financially etc., you know the type of crap I'm on about. I told him to up it to £200 and we have a deal, but no, £150 was the max he would offer, and I kinda reluctantly agreed.

So there we have it, that's my predicament!

Let's been honest here, I'm financially stable, I wouldn't miss the 100odd quid, and it's not the money I'm p!ssed off about, it's the whole principle of it, and the way he went about it to get it off me that's doing my head in!

Thoughts?

I understand where you are coming from but and I know it sounds hippy but let it go buddy life is too short and what goes around comes around.

That's a bit of a bugger situation to be in. My first thougts was, once he fixed it, surely he'd get more money for it? So if he was that hard up, surely waiting a bit would be worth it? And considering you told him £200 (from the possible £300 after the 50/50 split), that was an entirely fair offer... so can understand you beeing a bit miffed.

But as the poster above said, life's too short dude. Try and forget about it and move on.

I would not worry about it, he is obviously a bit of a sh1t, but just move on mate and don't trust him with anything of yours again.

Forget it and also the friend Joe

Has he sold it by any chance and wants to keep nearly all the money himself????

Take the £150 & lose the excess baggage mate, he's not a mate if he acts in that manner.

tbh any friend that would do that isn't a real friend. Sorry mate

Move on and leave em to it bud

I would move on too jojo. I have had a bit of a cull recently as I can be a bit too easy going sometimes. You soon realise how much you help some people out and don't get anything back from them. You have to weigh up what you get back from the friendship and then evaluate how much effort you are putting in.

Originally Posted by W8 Performance

You soon realise how much you help some people out and don't get anything back from them.

So true.

Originally Posted by W8 Performance

I would move on too jojo. I have had a bit of a cull recently as I can be a bit too easy going sometimes. You soon realise how much you help some people out and don't get anything back from them. You have to weigh up what you get back from the friendship and then evaluate how much effort you are putting in.

This is precisely it mate! Admittedly, I'm more well off than him, and he constantly goes on about it! And I'm forever helping him out for nothing in return, and I guess I'm feeling hard done by, or dissapointed shall I say, of the way he's behaving, not that he hasn't help me out in the past.

ItemX is not officially his yet, he aint paid me, and I'm tempted just to sneak it back somehow, and flog it for £250! haha

Such is life....

So what he want's to do is get it for 150 from you then fix it then sell for 600 - not a friend in my opinion....as you already offered him a 50/50 split on the profit

Originally Posted by gavsman

So what he want's to do is get it for 150 from you then fix it then sell for 600 - not a friend in my opinion....as you already offered him a 50/50 split on the profit

That's the feeling I'm getting, but he says he's going to fix it and keep it as backup.

I have to sy Jo, thats sounds a bit of a long story to me. Did you ask for it back? I mean if he's that hard up then surely he doesn't need to buy something just "as a backup" does he?

Originally Posted by beanoir

I have to sy Jo, thats sounds a bit of a long story to me. Did you ask for it back? I mean if he's that hard up then surely he doesn't need to buy something just "as a backup" does he?

The item in question is handy to have around for what he does.

I read this yesterday, just been thinking what itemx could be lol.

I'd just move on and mark him down a few points on the friends scale.

Originally Posted by sportstractor

I read this yesterday, just been thinking what itemx could be lol.

I could start a new thread of guessing what itemX is! lol

Originally Posted by jojo

The item in question is handy to have around for what he does.

Is he a bank robber and item X is a gun............

Originally Posted by s3dave

Is he a bank robber and item X is a gun............

id take item X back
and sell it to someone else

Take it back from him joe and tbh tell him the truth.. I know if my mate did that id tell him that he's been abit cheeky in the matter.. if he was low on money then friends are here to give moral support and if need be, financial. If you cant tell your friend the truth then is he really a friend? As for the item, as i said before just take it back and tell him look tbh i need it back and i'll sort it out myself im not able to trust you with it then whats the point? Good luck matey!

Playing devil's advocate:

Maybe he's telling the truth and does want it as a back up.
If he was being sneaky and wanted to sell it on for more money elsewhere then there's a good chance he would've been prepared to up his offer to you to £200, so's not to lose out on the deal he has set up elsewhere. But he wouldn't budge, so maybe he really does want the item for himself.

I'm not saying I think this is what is happening, but it is a possibilty.

This is what I would do......
Let him have the item for £150, stay mates with him, then in a month or so make an excuse to see the item again. If he hasn't still got it then write him off as a mate. But if he does have the item then he probably was telling the truth and you should feel a little bit guilty.

Hes had it working and hes going to rip you off

get it back test it .and dump the tit

Is it a "lazer" death ray? Is your "friend" dr evil?

Mac computer?

Look on the bright side - he's a friend so you can ditch him.

I ended up helping out some very close members of my family who have abused my trust to the point where I wished I'd never got involved and I'd left them to their fate. It's now left me in a situation where there is something I now want to do but I can't courtesy of them.

They do say don't mix business with pleasure, money is the route of all evil, always seems true to me.
Get item X back and sell it yourself, saves any questions in the future over why he wanted it, will he sell it etc.

Ps The item is a laptop?

i really wanna know what itemX is!

But yeh screw him mate. Hes not a friend. None of my friends would ever do that. Try get it back if you can and sell it for £250. I wonder if he will give it back now as hes probably fixed it and hasnt told you.

I think item x is a generator. A good one at that.

A jetski?

sorry to burst your bubble - but you aint friends - i could go into my calculation as to how i got my answer, but i can not be bothered to type it out

He obviously has an agenda .... Fix it sell it on keep all profit.

Looks like greed to me ... However you know him best

LOL!

I'm on the defensive at the mo', I actually have £220 of his money in my back pocket that someone owed him, but gave to me to pass it on, since I'm mega trustworthy. I'd usually call him, but I'll just wait for him to call me.... he hasn't even paid me for itemX yet, so this is quite handy.

jo,

one word....

KARMA

you the man jo! make him yo *****!

Originally Posted by colicabcadam

sorry to burst your bubble - but you aint friends - i could go into my calculation as to how i got my answer, but i can not be bothered to type it out

E = MC SQUARED ?

Originally Posted by Der_Techniker

jo,

one word....

KARMA

Got to admit, he doesn't have much luck in life, everything he does never goes according to plan, so maybe KARMA has it's way.

You offered him a great deal in a 50/50 split and this is how he acts?

Go give him £20 of the money you have, keep £200 for the item.

The way you talk about him wanting the upper hand in confrontation and that not being your strong point seems to me that this guy isn't much of a friend anyway and that you've had trouble with this guy before!

Originally Posted by red or dead

The way you talk about him wanting the upper hand in confrontation and that not being your strong point seems to me that this guy isn't much of a friend anyway and that you've had trouble with this guy before!

No trouble before, but he's very confrontational.

Originally Posted by jojo

So ItemX is worth anything between £6-800 in good working condition, I have one that's not in great shape, so essential worthless to most people, but my mate can fix it. I have been offered £250 for it from another guy who I don't know very well, but my mate said he can fix it, so I asked him if he wanted to fix it, and whatever I sell it for, I'd split it 50/50 with him, e.g. if I sold it for £600, we would get £300 each! - Win/win for him right?!

Really though Jo, I have a puncture repair kit and 600 is a bit steep for her. Especially used....!!!!

iv not read all the reply's,

If my mate was in the ****, and really in the ****, and i could aford it, I'd give him the money to sort it and leave it at that, ten bank it as he owned you a favor in the future, that's what real friends do,

Something to ponder. If you hang on to the £220 the other person paid you to pass on to your friend, you could end up dragging that person into the situation between you and your friend.

As for the problem itself, I take Turkster's point about real friends helping each other out when they need it, but I don't think that applies here. It sounds to me like this character is taking advantage of your non-confrontational nature to bully you into getting what he wants, and that's not what friends do.

As far as itemX is concerned, I think you have two options; either accept the £150, or say you have changed your mind and ask for it back. As far as your "friend" is concerned, I think you have only one option, and that is to distance yourself from him.

Well, he did call me quite late last night, told me to hang on to the money, no mention of paying me or anything. ItemX is still not fixed - yet.

As for his personal situation, I guess you could put him in the 'really in the ****' category, though he would never admit it or act like it....

I haven't given up on him as a friend, but it's keeping a certain distance from him regarding on how close we was as pals. He's not doing himself any favours of late also, there's some not so good stories floating about him in the last few days, and I'm just staying quiet.

Regarding the person that gave me the £220, the reason the money was passed to me is he didn't want to see said friend, for fear of smashing his face in, so no love lost there aye! lol

I'm not trying to make out he's an @rsehole, but maybe he just is....

Well that last post has done it for me. Keep the money you have for him and quietly slip out of his life. Sounds like a bad egg.

Ahhhh the ball drops, I wondered where this £220 came from, just recap'd on missed posts lol, yeah leave him to it mate, £220 is fine as you were happy with £200, so £20 few beers for your trouble huh.

Is "ItemX" a euphemism for a target in a hit ?

Originally Posted by lippyrich

Is "ItemX" a euphemism for a target in a hit ?

Originally Posted by macpdm

I understand where you are coming from but and I know it sounds hippy but let it go buddy life is too short and what goes around comes around.

x2

Originally Posted by Idrees

x2

X3


Better the devil you know, atleast he wont have you in the net again, and you can put your current situation down to 'life exsperiance' , also id take every opportunity to rip the piss out of him infront of others to make him feel like a right c**k, if it just so happens he does sell it lol

Originally Posted by camscockle20vT

Better the devil you know, atleast he wont have you in the net again, and you can put your current situation down to 'life exsperiance' , also id take every opportunity to rip the piss out of him infront of others to make him feel like a right c**k, if it just so happens he does sell it lol

It's happening already. The guy who gave me the £220 is ripping the **** out of him, and he actually called me up to back him up, cause I have a good rep. I just told him 'I'll see what I can do' and put the phone down....

KARMA has it's ways aye.