Saturday mornings............

Its the weekend, so what. Woke up in a good mood, then looked at time its half six, cant break body clock for one day.
As i'm older i needed to pee, tried keeping my eyes half closed to simulate it being dark, didnt work.
Got back to sleep eventually, not helped by mrs teeth grinding snore machine laying next to me.
At the back of my mind i know if i get up then the dog will **** me off no end and the kids will suddenly forget how to feed themselves.
Then in my half asleep state i hear the pounding foot steps of the dog running up the stairs, that means the youngest is up and has forgotten to close the gate at the bottom of the stairs.
Woohoo my dog licking his **** on my bed, at least its twenty past nine.
Next enters my middle daughter, white as a sheet and wearing a hoodie, starts crying to my missus, my stomach hurts.
The joys of womens problems...........out of bed i jump, dressed in under a minute and planning my morning of how to get out of this house and away from these freaks.
Faint memory approaches, car show in Days Ford dealers down the road, i know i can take the dog down there.
In comes the youngest, i want to go over the park.
In the meantime my missus had asked my eldest to get one of those beanbag things for the middle ones stomach.
The eldest comes up and throws the beanbag at my missus in a humph as she isnt getting all the attention.
The last straw, calmed down a bit now.
So how was your wake this morning.

Had a great day down mumbles with the kids, free parking as all the machines were bust.
On the way back i am travelling down a short village road, my side of the road clear with parked cars on the right hand side.
Spot a light blue polo bombing my way from the opposite direction, instead of pulling in he decided to go faster towards me, i had no where to pull in.
When he got to my car our wing mirrors touched, i let him know that i thought his speed a little excessive (not that polite) to which he replied, you should have pulled in for me you minge bag, i pull away and our cars touch again, i slam on and go to take of my seat belt. My missus goes nuts at this point and grabs my belt and wont let go, the kid was out of his car and now by my door.
Managed to wrangle the belt off my missus and got out, i am only six foot but i towered over this kid so all his mates decide to get out.
He points to the damage on his car, a slight black scuff on his wheel arch, was just polish as i did mine thursday with black polish......the rest is a blur......with me basically telling him he was lucky my kids were in the car or i would have smashed the little **** and all his mates.
Jumped up little ****.
Completely ruined what had turned out to be a good day, i am angry with myself now for letting myself get so angry in the first place.
No significant damage to either car, just a stubborn little ***** who probably only just passed his test and thinks he knows better.
Thinking about it i am lucky my wife and kids were in the car as i would be looking at a stretch at her majestys pleasure.