License to drive
A frenchman's pregnant french wife is having cravings for snails so he kindly offers to go and get some for her to eat.
Half way down the road he remembered that they now live in London and snails aren't easy to come by.
He racks his brains and comes up with the idea that he'll be able to buy some from the local pet shop.
He walks in and asks the lady behind the counter if they sells snails. She says no. He then asks if she could suggest somewhere he could buy some. She pointed him towards another, more exotic pet shop on the other side of town.
He walks for 20 minutes to the other shop, enters and asks for snails. They also say they don't sell them, and direct him to another pet shop.
Again he arrives at the next pet shop but they do not have any snails.
This same chain of events continues until there are no more pet shops to visit.
Tired, depressed and scared to go home to his wife with no snails he decides to go to the local pub to take the edge off of his nerves.
He sits at the bar and the barmaid asks what he'd like to drink. He orders a Vodka and downs it in one.
The barmaid asks why he looks so down.
He explains that he's been out all day trying to find some snails to cook for his craving pregnant wife but can't find any.
The barmaid tells him it's his lucky day as she always has loads of snails crawling about in her back garden and he would be doing her a favour if he was to take some.
The only problem was that she didn't finish her shift for another two hours.
The frenchman decides to hang around and the barmaid supplies him with free drinks.
When her shift is over the frenchman, now a little drunk, follows the barmaid home.
They enter her house and she grabs him and they end up having wild sex.
The next thing the frenchman knows it's 8am the next morning! He jumps out of bed, puts his clothes on, runs downstairs and into the garden, grabs an old milk bottle and shoves loads of snails into it and then runs home.
As he gets to his house, he opens the front gate, starts to walk up the path to his front door and trips. The milk bottle falls from his hand and smashes on the floor making loads of noise.
As he gets back to his feet his wife opens the front door looks at him and shouts "WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN FOR ALL THESE HOURS??!?!?!"
He looks at her, then looks down at the snails that are now crawling up the path, and says..... "Come on guys, hurry up!!"
Defo worth the wait :)