Sky InsuranceChris Nott
Results 1 to 4 of 4
  1. #1
    3rd Gear

    Status
    Offline
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Florida (previously Liverpool)
    Posts
    655

    If pets kept diaries...

    Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......

    8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
    9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
    9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
    10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

    12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

    1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

    3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

    5:00 pm - Dog Biscuits! My favorite thing!

    7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

    8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

    11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!



    Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary. ..

    Day 983 of my captivity...
    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

    The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

    Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.

    *******s.


    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

    The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.

    -for now................

  2. # ADS
    ADS
    Join Date
    Always
    Location
    Global
    Posts
    Many
     
  3. #2
    finesse's Avatar
    6th Gear

    Status
    Offline
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    London / Anglia
    Posts
    2,814
    lol so true
    Ibiza Cupra TDI

    Gone:

    Audi C5 RS 6 - Stage 2
    Audi 8L S3 - Revo'd

  4. #3
    L1 HCS's Avatar
    6th Gear
    Candy Tetris Champion, Mahjong Champion, Magic Ball Champion

    Status
    Offline
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    cymru
    Posts
    4,597
    "Swallow your pride occasionally, it's not fattening." - Frank Tyger
    "Avoid making irrevocable decisions while tired or hungry." - Robert Heinlein

  5. #4
    supanova's Avatar
    A3 2.0 TDI SE

    Status
    Offline
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Coleraine, Coleraine, United Kingdom, United Kingdom
    Posts
    515
    hahahaahahahahahahhahaha
    ahahaha
    ahahahahahahahahahah
    ..
    ...
    ahahahah

    awesme read haha! i laughed for ages haha not good when you work in a photography shop full of people hahah!

    xD

 

 

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO

Garage Plus, Vendor Tools vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.

Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO