An Irishman hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife".
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife; "Sweetheart, I won the prize for the Best toast of the night"
She said, "Right so? ...-and what was your toast?"
"Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife." said the husband
"Oh, -that's lovely!" said the wife.
The next day, the wife ran into one of her husband's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "Your old fella won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, you know."
She said, "Aye, so he told me, and I have to confess that I was a tiny bit surprised, myself... -You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, ...and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come!"