Aer Lingus Flight 101
Aer Lingus Flight 101 was flying from Heathrow to Dublin one night, with Paddy the Pilot and Shamus the co-pilot. As they approached Dublin airport, they looked out the front window. "B'jees" said Paddy "Will ye look at how short dat runway is".
"You're not kiddin, Paddy" replied Shamus. "Dis is gonna be one a' de trickiest landings you're ever gonna see" said Paddy
"You're not kiddin, Paddy" replied Shamus. "Right Shamus. When I give de signal, you put the engines in reverse" said Paddy.
"Right, I'll be doing dat" replied Shamus. "And den ye put de flaps dow straight away" said Paddy.
"Right, I'll be doing that" replied Shamus. "And den ye stamp on dem brakes as hard as ye can" said Paddy. "Right, I'll be doing dat" replied Shamus.
"And den ye pray to de Mother Mary with all a' your soul" said Paddy. "I be doing dat already" replied Shamus.
So they approached the runway with Paddy and Shamus full of nerves and sweaty palms. As soon as the wheels hit the ground, Shamus put the engines in reverse, put the flaps down, stamped on the brakes and prayed to the Mother Mary with all of his soul.
Amidst the roaring engines, squealing of tyres and lots of smoke, the plane screeched to a halt centimetres from the end of the runway, much to the relief of Paddy and Shamus and everyone on board.
As they sat in the cockpit regaining their composure, Paddy looked out the front window and said to Shamus "Dat has gotta be de shortest runway i have EVER seen in me whole life".
Shamus looked out the side window and replied "Yeah Paddy, but look at how wide it is!"