Monster MotorsportChris Nott
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  1. #1
    Rev-head's Avatar
    6th Gear

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    BILL GATES COMMENTS

    SEEN THIS AND THOUGHT IT WAS QUITE GOOD!!

    At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly
    compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,

    'If General Motors had kept up with technology like the computer industry
    has,
    we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.'

    In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
    stating:

    If GM had developed technology like Microsoft,
    we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics

    1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........
    Twice a day.

    2 . Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a
    new car.

    3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason.
    You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows,
    shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could
    continue.
    For some reason you would simply accept this.

    4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your
    car to shut down
    and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

    5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
    five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -
    but would run on only five percent of the roads.

    6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be
    replaced
    by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' warning light.

    7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying.

    8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and
    refuse
    to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,
    turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

    9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to
    drive
    all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner
    as the old car.

    10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off.
    Urq RR
    S2 Coupe...RS2 +
    S2 Avant (slipper wagon spec)
    A4 AVANT TDI

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  3. #2
    batwad's Avatar
    4th Gear

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    11. You'd crash all the time because your windscreen would occasionally fill with porn and you wouldn't be able to get rid of it.
    03 A3 (8L) TDi quattro Sport, Aluminium Silver with leather, armrest, cruise, xenons and me at the wheel

  4. #3
    marms's Avatar
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    seen the original several time but I'm liking your addition.
    LOL

  5. #4
    Lowlife's Avatar
    German Hardcore

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    old but still funny!...

  6. #5
    tracer's Avatar
    '96 a4 1.8 se

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    yip, seen it before but still worth a read, fav is the airbbag one

  7. #6
    Rich's Avatar
    Rollin on boost mother hubbards

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    It's funy cuz it's true..

  8. #7
    Drmatrix's Avatar
    Vorsprung Durch Technik

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    the addition was brilliant no mention of the blue screen though
    Audi A6 2.4 Quattro SE Cashmere Grey
    Audi Allroad 2.5 tdi (180) Quattro Limited Edition Metalic Silver

  9. #8
    OutLore's Avatar
    VOIP Dude

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    10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off.

    In my car - that's exactly what you do.
    Spence
    ________________________________________
    Now: 2011 A4 Avant 2.0TDi Black Edition Multitronic Aruba Blue
    Gone at 77k: 2008 A4 Saloon 2.0TDi 140 S-Line Quartz Grey

    Gone at 80k: 2007 A3 Sportback 2.0T S-Line S-Tronic Mauritius Blue
    (4 S-Tronic boxes, 3 Mechatronics Units, 2 Dual Mass flywheels, 2 sets of engine mounts)
    Gone at 32k: 2005 A3 Sportback 2.0TDi 140 S-Line DSG
    Ebony Black

  10. #9
    audi a4.36

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    first time ive ever read that,......... absolutely superb.

 

 

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