Chris NottJMB Retrofits
Results 1 to 5 of 5
  1. #1
    silver75's Avatar
    Big Ron

    Status
    Offline
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    at work
    Posts
    3,243

    Friday morning chuckle

    A man has spent many days crossing the Sahara without water. Histrusty
    horse and camel have both long since died of thirst. Drier than a
    Californian raisin, he is on all fours crawling through the sands
    certainthat he has breathed his last.

    All of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the sand 6 feet
    aheadofhim.He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand and discovers
    whatlooksto be an old briefcase.

    He opens it and out pops a genie, but this is no ordinary genie.
    Heisadull looking character, wearing an Inland Revenue ID badge and a
    naff,greysuit. There's a calculator in his pocket, and a pencil tucked
    behindoneear.

    "Well, kid," drones the monotone genie. "You know how it works.Youhavethree wishes."

    "I'm not falling for that old chestnut," replies the weary man.
    "I'mnotgoing to trust a tax inspector!"

    "What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it
    lookslikeyou're gonna die anyway!"

    Sighing, the man thinks about this for a minute, and decides thatthedullgenie is right.
    "OK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plentiful food and drink".

    ********* P O O F **********

    The man finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen,
    andheis surrounded with carafes of vino superior and platters of Marks &Spencer
    delicacies.

    "OK sir, what's your second wish?"
    "My second wish is that I were rich beyond my wildest dreams."

    ********** P O O F **********

    The man finds himself surrounded by treasure chests, filled with
    raregoldcoins, precious gems and a cheque which would keep the Beckhams for
    life."Very well sir, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good
    one!"
    After thinking for a few minutes, the man says, "I wish that no
    matter where I go beautiful women will want and need me."

    ********** P O O F **********


    He is turned into a tampon.

    And the moral of the story?
    If the Inland Revenue offers you ANYTHING, there must be a string
    attached.

    Smart Roadster 03
    Ford Sportka 05

  2. # ADS
    ADS
    Join Date
    Always
    Location
    Global
    Posts
    Many
     
  3. #2
    john2garden's Avatar
    Gonad

    Status
    Offline
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Chester
    Posts
    388
    Quality!!!

  4. #3
    1st Gear

    Status
    Offline
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Isle Of Lewis, NW Scotland, UK
    Posts
    197
    Made me chuckle!
    My Fleet:
    B7 Audi A4 3.0 TDi 233 S-line Quattro
    B5 Audi A4 1.9 TDi 110 Quattro
    B5 Audi A4 1.9 TDi 110 SE
    B3 Audi 80 2.0 8v Sport

  5. #4
    marriedblonde's Avatar
    Moderator

    Status
    Offline
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Sunny South Coast
    Posts
    4,368
    fantastic
    Married and blonde yes, but still a guy with a poor taste in usernames!

    Mercedes Benze E-class 350 sport convertable, black, pacha grey leather, 19" AMG rims, HK stero and a few more toys
    VW Scirocco 2.0Tsi GT with Revo stage 2, evoms induction kit, lowered, short shift, miltek
    BMW 330 Coupe M sport Black, Black leather, Nav and a lot of other options.
    BMW Z4 Coupe Sport in black with a few toys - going friday and gonna be missed by my lad.
    A3 2.0Tdi S-Line DSG. Gone but not forgotten

  6. #5
    tonedef's Avatar
    1st Gear

    Status
    Offline
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Chesterfield
    Posts
    147
    Excellent, cracked me up!
    2001 S3|Ebony Black|Revo|MTM Clutch|RS4 Reps|Tarox Brakes
    '95 Corrado VR6|Classic Green|Koni/Eibach|Undergoing major rebuild!

 

 

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO

Garage Plus, Vendor Tools vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.

Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO