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  1. #41
    A11 EAF's Avatar
    Neutral

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    I stand corrected said the man in the orthopeadic shoe.......
    Drive it like u stole it. A3 3.2 DSG S-line.

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  3. #42
    Randomjim's Avatar
    6th Gear

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    What do you call a hundred nuns in a shop?


    Virgin megastore
    Built in Germany, Perfected in England

  4. #43
    aq965's Avatar
    fo'rum abuser

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    why do women call it pms?????

    cos bse was taken

  5. #44
    Randomjim's Avatar
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    What do you call sandpaper in afghanistan?

    A map
    Built in Germany, Perfected in England

  6. #45
    MarcA3Turbo's Avatar
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    Whats pink and hard?

    A pig with a flickknife.
    2001 Brilliant Black A3 Turbo, Bose, Audi iPod Kit, TT pedals, S3 Spoiler

  7. #46
    OutLore's Avatar
    VOIP Dude

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    What's pink and wrinkly and hangs out your trousers?
    :
    :
    ::
    :
    :
    :
    ::
    :
    :
    :
    :
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    ::
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    your mum.
    Spence
    ________________________________________
    Now: 2011 A4 Avant 2.0TDi Black Edition Multitronic Aruba Blue
    Gone at 77k: 2008 A4 Saloon 2.0TDi 140 S-Line Quartz Grey

    Gone at 80k: 2007 A3 Sportback 2.0T S-Line S-Tronic Mauritius Blue
    (4 S-Tronic boxes, 3 Mechatronics Units, 2 Dual Mass flywheels, 2 sets of engine mounts)
    Gone at 32k: 2005 A3 Sportback 2.0TDi 140 S-Line DSG
    Ebony Black

  8. #47
    raymie's Avatar
    6 pot AP

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    bought viagra the other day form ma mate down the pub, went home swallowed it, got stuck in my throat and i was up all nite with a stiff neck

  9. #48
    rich dj's Avatar
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    A Perfect man and a Perfect woman and farther christmas were standing in a lift

    there was a ten pound note on the floor who picks it up.



    The man of course the others dont exist.......




    (ok apart from my wife)

  10. #49
    1st Gear

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    bloke walks into a bar with a lump of tarmac under one arm - "one for me and one for the road"

    I thankyou..

  11. #50
    bravepilot's Avatar
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    OMG that is awful!!! Still made me smile though
    To Infinity, and beyond!

  12. #51
    130BHP+,A4+ K & N Filter, Tuning Box.

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    !!!!!

    Whats pink and fluffy?
















    Pink Fluff, of course

    Tuning Box, K&N Filter, FK AK Coilovers, RNS-E MMI Installed.

  13. #52
    Randomjim's Avatar
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    Built in Germany, Perfected in England

  14. #53
    130BHP+,A4+ K & N Filter, Tuning Box.

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    Talking

    its all i got, sorry.

    Tuning Box, K&N Filter, FK AK Coilovers, RNS-E MMI Installed.

  15. #54
    Randomjim's Avatar
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    What bees make milk?











    Booo-bees


    (i know, no better)
    Built in Germany, Perfected in England

  16. #55
    130BHP+,A4+ K & N Filter, Tuning Box.

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    I tought mine was bad.

    Tuning Box, K&N Filter, FK AK Coilovers, RNS-E MMI Installed.

  17. #56
    Randomjim's Avatar
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    it was
    Built in Germany, Perfected in England

  18. #57
    smee's Avatar
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    Whats brown and smelly and comes out of the back of cows?





    The Isle of Wight ferry!

  19. #58
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    An icecream man was found dead in his van covered in hundreds and thousands and smothered in strawberry sauce... Police say he topped himself.

  20. #59
    silver75's Avatar
    Big Ron

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    A little boy asked his father,
    "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
    Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

    A young son asked,
    "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
    a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
    Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."





    Last edited by silver75; 31st October 2006 at 11:56.

    Smart Roadster 03
    Ford Sportka 05

  21. #60
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    Bloke goes to the doctor's "Doc, I've got a strawberry stuck up my Arse".

    "No problem, I've got some cream you can put on it"


  22. #61
    L1 HCS's Avatar
    6th Gear
    Candy Tetris Champion, Mahjong Champion, Magic Ball Champion

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    "Swallow your pride occasionally, it's not fattening." - Frank Tyger
    "Avoid making irrevocable decisions while tired or hungry." - Robert Heinlein

  23. #62
    icenutter's Avatar
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    Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?




    He had to work it out with a pencil.

  24. #63
    smilne's Avatar
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    What kind of Bee's make milk???

    boobies!!!

  25. #64
    filipharvey's Avatar
    Amusing Tagline

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    Deja Vu????
    Audi A6 1.8T Avant



    Alfa 156 3.0 V6 Veloce


  26. #65
    1st Gear

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    A women with no legs goes strawberry picking













    Jammy C*nt
    51 reg A3 1.8 Sport, 17"TT Alloys, Centre Arm, Leon Spliter.

    Stockport

    17 - Pug206, 19 - Punto, 23 - A3



    http://s154.photobucket.com/albums/s...rst_widget.pbw

  27. #66
    smitch's Avatar
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    Man goes to the doctor and says 'doctor i can't stop singing Delila'.

    The doctor says 'aah, seems to me like you've got a case of Tom Jones syndrome'

    The man says 'is it common?'

    The doc says 'it's not unusual'
    S4.

  28. #67
    silver75's Avatar
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    Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must tell you all something,. We have a case of gonorrhea ithe convent."
    "Thank God", said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of the chardonay"

    Smart Roadster 03
    Ford Sportka 05

  29. #68
    silver75's Avatar
    Big Ron

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    One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."
    So he tied her up and went golfing.

    Smart Roadster 03
    Ford Sportka 05

  30. #69
    silver75's Avatar
    Big Ron

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    woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey,
    pack your bags. I won the lottery!"
    The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get out."

    Smart Roadster 03
    Ford Sportka 05

  31. #70
    silver75's Avatar
    Big Ron

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    BUMP

    What's the first sign of madness?








    Suggs walking up your driveway.

    Smart Roadster 03
    Ford Sportka 05

  32. #71
    3rd Gear

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    A white horse walks into a bar, the barman says "We've got a drink named after you", the horse replies "What? Kevin?"

  33. #72
    smee's Avatar
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    Why did the one eyed chicken cross the road?




    To get to the Birds Eye shop!
    A5 2.0T Sport Brilliant Black

  34. #73
    Hotscar's Avatar
    Four Wheel Drifting

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    How do you confuse a muppet?

    7
    Unmolested Ming blue S3 (so it doesn't handle or stop very well), Bose, sunroof and centre armrest but no heated seats - Gone but not forgotten although I am enjoying the new 350CLK!

    PSN - S3hawkster

  35. #74
    1st Gear

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    What's the fastest cake in the world? A Scone
    02 A4 Avant 18T Sport (163) Multi
    Sat Nav+ , Grey alcantara
    RS4 Alloys ,EBC Discs & Pads

  36. #75
    1st Gear

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    What do a washing machine and a woman have in common?
    They both leak when they're f@;#ed
    02 A4 Avant 18T Sport (163) Multi
    Sat Nav+ , Grey alcantara
    RS4 Alloys ,EBC Discs & Pads

  37. #76
    MikeS4's Avatar
    MikeS4

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    Whats the difference between a woman & a washing machine......

    a washing machine won't keep calling & texting you after you've dumped your load in it.
    mikeS4

  38. #77
    silver75's Avatar
    Big Ron

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    Whats the difference between groping Kylie and driving a Lada?



    You feel a right tit driving a Lada.

    Smart Roadster 03
    Ford Sportka 05

  39. #78
    6th Gear

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    Hunchback of Notre Dame walks into a pub.
    HBND:"I'll have a whisky"?
    Barman: "Bells alright?"
    HBND: "mind your own fxxkin business!"

    'ere all week!

  40. #79
    simonwjones's Avatar
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    Whats dead and comes in yellow bags?




















    John Lennon
    A6 3.0TDI Quattro Avant Le Mans
    A6 2.5tdi Quattro Sport 180 Sadly Missed
    A6 1.9tdi Avant ................. Gladly missed
    A6 2.8 Quattro .................. Sadly missed
    Quattro 2.8 Coupe ............. Sadly missed

    SatNav, BT, AMI, DAB

  41. #80
    Caesium's Avatar
    My BM is fixed!

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    Quote Originally Posted by mc119856
    Whats the difference between a woman & a washing machine......

    a washing machine won't keep calling & texting you after you've dumped your load in it.
    Excellent!
    Chris

    The problem with common sense, is that its not that common.

    See my images @
    http://www.christianfrench.co.uk

    Own a dreaded BMW? http://www.bmw-sport.net

 

 
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