Sky InsuranceEM Tuning
Results 1 to 5 of 5
  1. #1
    L1 HCS's Avatar
    6th Gear
    Candy Tetris Champion, Mahjong Champion, Magic Ball Champion

    Status
    Offline
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    cymru
    Posts
    4,597

    "Jesus Knows You're Here"




    A burglar broke into a house one night.
    He shined his flashlight around,
    looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said,
    'Jesus knows you're here.'

    He nearly jumped out of his skin,
    clicked his flashlight off, and froze.

    When he heard nothing more,
    after a bit, he shook his head and continued.

    Just as he pulled the stereo out so
    he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he
    heard 'Jesus is watching you.'

    Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically,
    looking for the source of the voice.

    Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight
    beam came to rest on a parrot.








    'Did you say that?' he hissed
    at the parrot.

    'Yep', the parrot confessed, then squawked,
    'I'm just trying to warn you that he is
    watching you.'

    The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me,
    huh? Who in the world are you ?'

    'Moses,' replied the bird.

    'Moses?' the burglar laughed.
    'What kind of people would name a bird
    Moses?'

    'The kind of people that would name a
    Rottweiler Jesus.'


    "Swallow your pride occasionally, it's not fattening." - Frank Tyger
    "Avoid making irrevocable decisions while tired or hungry." - Robert Heinlein

  2. # ADS
    ADS
    Join Date
    Always
    Location
    Global
    Posts
    Many
     
  3. #2
    Welly's Avatar
    Testing dodgy Chinese gear...

    Status
    Offline
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Gloucestershire
    Posts
    10,680
    lol. My Rottie (Called Rufus) is the dumbest animal in the world. If you shout at him he wets himself and runs away, despite being 11 stone.

    It's weird to see that pic of the Rottie above with bared teeth, you forget how nasty they can be when trained that way, when you have one who is so dopey.
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail."
    Homer Simpson

    Quote Originally Posted by Prawn View Post
    Wellyboots, you are quite literally my most favourite pikey in the entire world




  4. #3
    Shark in a Goldfishes clothing

    Status
    Offline
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Nottingham
    Posts
    576
    Haha

    My mum is in the salvation army and is actually thinking of using that in one of her meetings!!!

    Absolute quality!

  5. #4
    lil_coz's Avatar
    6th Gear

    Status
    Offline
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    1,636
    Quote Originally Posted by Welly View Post
    It's weird to see that pic of the Rottie above with bared teeth, you forget how nasty they can be when trained that way

    They took the pic right before he was about to sneeze...
    Coss

    S3 S-tronic: Panther Black, lots of extras, MTM remap


  6. #5
    voorhees's Avatar
    Moderator

    Status
    Offline
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Leafy Warwickshire
    Posts
    14,617
    lol good one Helen
    I used to babysit for a friend and he had Carla a big version of that,a big softy though.

 

 

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO

Garage Plus, Vendor Tools vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.

Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO