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  1. #1
    L1 HCS's Avatar
    6th Gear
    Candy Tetris Champion, Mahjong Champion, Magic Ball Champion

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    "Jesus Knows You're Here"




    A burglar broke into a house one night.
    He shined his flashlight around,
    looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said,
    'Jesus knows you're here.'

    He nearly jumped out of his skin,
    clicked his flashlight off, and froze.

    When he heard nothing more,
    after a bit, he shook his head and continued.

    Just as he pulled the stereo out so
    he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he
    heard 'Jesus is watching you.'

    Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically,
    looking for the source of the voice.

    Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight
    beam came to rest on a parrot.








    'Did you say that?' he hissed
    at the parrot.

    'Yep', the parrot confessed, then squawked,
    'I'm just trying to warn you that he is
    watching you.'

    The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me,
    huh? Who in the world are you ?'

    'Moses,' replied the bird.

    'Moses?' the burglar laughed.
    'What kind of people would name a bird
    Moses?'

    'The kind of people that would name a
    Rottweiler Jesus.'


    "Swallow your pride occasionally, it's not fattening." - Frank Tyger
    "Avoid making irrevocable decisions while tired or hungry." - Robert Heinlein

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  3. #2
    Welly's Avatar
    8L S3 - Badger 5 Edition

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    lol. My Rottie (Called Rufus) is the dumbest animal in the world. If you shout at him he wets himself and runs away, despite being 11 stone.

    It's weird to see that pic of the Rottie above with bared teeth, you forget how nasty they can be when trained that way, when you have one who is so dopey.
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power…like God must feel when he’s holding a gun."
    Homer Simpson

    Welly & Bumble




    FP Green - 445 BHP/328 LBFT
    Badger 5 Edition....

  4. #3
    Shark in a Goldfishes clothing

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    Haha

    My mum is in the salvation army and is actually thinking of using that in one of her meetings!!!

    Absolute quality!

  5. #4
    lil_coz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Welly View Post
    It's weird to see that pic of the Rottie above with bared teeth, you forget how nasty they can be when trained that way

    They took the pic right before he was about to sneeze...
    Coss

    S3 S-tronic: Panther Black, lots of extras, MTM remap


  6. #5
    voorhees's Avatar
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    lol good one Helen
    I used to babysit for a friend and he had Carla a big version of that,a big softy though.

 

 

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