before anybody gets offended this joke can be changed to suit any area of the country.

a ventriloquist is walking through the country in Wales, when he sees a middle aged man sitting on his porch with his faithful dog.
he thinks, "I'm gonna have some fun with this guy"

the ventriloquist approached the man and said;
"Hi there, im an animal conversationalist, would you mind if spoke to you're talk"
the welshman, amused by the fact this guy thinks he can talk to animals replies;
"fire away if you think he'll reply"
"okay" said the gentleman

he turns to the dog and says, "hi, is this your owner?"
"yes" replies the dog
"and how does he treat you?"
"quite well" said the dog, "he takes me for a walk every morning, feeds me every night at 6 o'clock, grooms my coat every 2 days, and on sundays he takes me to the beach and plays frisbee with me"

"thats amazing" said the welshman, "come here and talk to the horse"

they reach the horse and again the ventriloquist says "hi is this your owner"
"yes" replies the horse
and they have a very similar conversation,

they do the same with the cows, and the farmer is in awe at this man.

the ventriloquist then says, "will we talk to the sheep next?"
to which the welshman replies;
"THE SHEEP'S A F**KING LIAR!!!!"