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Thread: Obituary

  1. #1
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    Obituary

    Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
    Knowing when to come in out of the rain;

    Why the early bird gets the worm;

    Life isn't always fair; and,

    Maybe it was my fault.

    Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

    Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.


    Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

    Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

    Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

    Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.
    He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers: I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.



    Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

    If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

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  3. #2
    Just Plain Old's Avatar
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    My commiserations.........

    In a similar vein here's an email I received today;

    SOMETHING
    TO PONDER OVER

    Common knowledge?

    Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 600 employees and has the following employee statistics:

    29 have been accused of spouse abuse

    7 have been arrested for fraud

    9 have been accused of writing bad cheques

    17 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses

    3 have done time for assault

    71 cannot get a credit card

    14 have been arrested on drug-related charges

    8 have been arrested for shop-lifting

    21 are currently defendants in lawsuits

    84 have been arrested for drink driving in the last year

    Which organisation is this?

    It's the 635 members of the House of Commons, the same group that cranks out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us inline.

    What a bunch of to**er's we have running our Country - it says it all. And just to top all that they probably have the best 'corporate' pension scheme in the Country.

    If you agree that this is an appalling state of affairs, please pass it on to everyone you know. It's time to stand up to this lot.
    In my personal opinion

  4. #3
    jojo's Avatar
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    Wow, this is what I call an oldie.

    http://audi-sport.net/vb/showthread.php?t=32060


    99' Audi S3(APY) - Brilliant Black Click>>>Going Sideways vid!
    You've got to have a laugh!



  5. #4
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    Holy re-post batman! I'd obv never seen it before, apologies.

  6. #5
    jojo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neilybabs View Post
    Holy re-post batman! I'd obv never seen it before, apologies.
    No need to apologise lol, that was waaay back in 2006, so I'll let you off.


    99' Audi S3(APY) - Brilliant Black Click>>>Going Sideways vid!
    You've got to have a laugh!



  7. #6
    voorhees's Avatar
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    Talking

    Quote Originally Posted by jojo View Post
    No need to apologise lol, that was waaay back in 2006, so I'll let you off.
    Statto

  8. #7
    motorbikez's Avatar
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    Unfortunately Neilybabs and JPO oh so true.
    2007 Sportback S Line Tdi 170 Avus,Bose,Multi function steering wheel, Electric Lumbar support,Front centre armrest,
    Storage pack,Through load system,Folding mirrors,Non smoking pack

    2009 BMW K1300S, ABS, ASC,OBC, heated grips

 

 

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