stabbed to death....

ALPINE

ALPINE

Yes its diesel, now cry u lost
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cut into 3 separate parts, stuffed into a suitcase, and set alight!

what a fun day at work i have had today!! i have had to pick up the remains of this poor victim of murder, and **** me it was groosum! for those who dont know i remove bodys from crime scenes and run coffins about for a profession. today has goto be the maddest day i have had.

the body was litterally in 3 parts, torso and head 1 part, (neck snapped) and the 2 legs ripped off. the smell was out of this world.

weird thing to post on a forum i know but i thought i would share my day with you as it was so different! deffo beats sitting in a studio all day being told what to do by arrogant muso`s!!
 
umm....i made a cup of tea and ate a biscuit with it.

thats one hell of a tough job you have. i imagine your life is littered with sleepless nights?
 
dansansome said:
umm....i made a cup of tea and ate a biscuit with it.

thats one hell of a tough job you have. i imagine your life is littered with sleepless nights?
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na not really mate... im quite a cold hearted basterd anyway!! lol the only 1s that biff me out a bit are the youngens. not nice to see them obviously.

was deffo a intersting day!
 
Where you from then Alpinehead?

What part of London?
 
LottieA3 said:
Oh my goodness!!! That's horrific. I wasn't aware you did that for a living, what made you choose that kind of job?

Doesn't it depress you?

Big up to you for doing such a job...but someone's gotta do it I guess. :thumbsup:
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cheers 4 the big up! lol na it dont depress me, kinda comes with being able to do that sorta job i suppose. some people can do it, some people get scared run away and be sick!

i choose this sorta job because i wanted to do somthing different. There is not much work out there for a sound engineer unless your on the road all the time and you sell ya skills by word of mouth. i chose to have a wife and kids over the job altho i loved it.

but equaly i love this job also, every 1 is always interested in my work and no day is ever the same!
 
Alpinehead, can I have my suitcase back please?

Im heading off on holiday next week but didnt think.

Cheers.
 
im reading a book at the moment and it says that the smell of death is quite distinctive and tends to "stick" to clothing etc.

i've never (fortunately for me) experienced it, is there any truth in it?
 
audi upgrades
no i dont do post mortums, altho i like to watch them when i have the time. intriging is the correct word.

im mearly a driver that pics up the dead and takes em from A to B.

Running coffins.... did you hear about the british lad that fell out a window on holiday a couple of weeks ago coz he got drugged?? i would be the person that picks up his coffin from the airport and take him to what ever area he was from nation wide.

this murder victim from today i took to our embalmer today. tomorrow i will goto the consulate to get the death documents leaglised. and monday i will take the coffin to the airport to get them shipped back to sweden.
 
Rocko said:
Alpinehead, can I have my suitcase back please?

Im heading off on holiday next week but didnt think.

Cheers.
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lmao i was waiting for that.....


wonder who will ask me 1st if im in a dead end job etc!! heard em all b4!! lol

Rocco did you want me to get the case cleaned for you?? :)
 
One of my Ex's is from Lewisham.

Used to be a lot worse round there 7 or 8 years ago.
 
Nah its ok.

In fact leave it, Ill be in Sweden next week anyway. Further "business" to attend to.

[insert evil laugh]
 
dansansome said:
im reading a book at the moment and it says that the smell of death is quite distinctive and tends to "stick" to clothing etc.

i've never (fortunately for me) experienced it, is there any truth in it?
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to be honest i think the smell of sewage smells worse... its a weird sorta smell to explane. (thinks)............... like a lingering fart!!! lol cant say it sticks to clothes, the missis has never complained.

Bodys dont really start smelling for a while, the movies kinda hype it up that within hours your bodys reeking! This 1 today how ever f00king reeked!! lol
 
audi upgrades
LottieA3 said:
Actually it's with a "U"...Intriguing.:moa:

So do you have to do anyting gooey?

So if someone gets stabbed and there body cut up and spread all along a canal side and in the water, do you have do pick the remains and gooey bits up?
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sort of... i pick up the already bagged up gooie bits that some 1 else has already collected. in answer to you earlyer question yes i do ware gloves as the gooie bits are often plasterd all over the body bags, if say for exsample they been rocco`d or hit by a train! i do have hands on experences with the dead daily. tell ya what does feel odd.... if the 1st time i touched a dead persons skin i expected it to be cold, but not as cold as it was. imagion you hands when having a snow ball fight and then double it.

Ps my spellin is shat!! (if ya had not already noticed!!) lol
 
lmao lottie.... cant say i have! i have once had a body fall off the trolly in the back of the van coz i forgot to strap it to the trolly!

lol

but of corse this didnt really happen if my boss happens to be on this forum!!
 
LottieA3 said:
I ask too many questions and have a very vivid and childlike imagination..so I am just full of interesting thoughts and questions for you alpinehead.
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i have sat up for hours talking about my job to me mates. ask away lottie, i never get bored of speaking the gore!! lol
 
LottieA3 said:
Did it fall onto the road?

Whats the worst thing thats happened in your job?

Do you get paid well?

Does your partner/wife etc, request that you fully cleanse your body before even holding hands?
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lol, no it did not fall on the road, it was just flying about in the back of my van.

have not really had a bad thing happen (yet)...

Yes it pays alright i spose,

and the only request my wife normally askes me is to make her a cuppa, slow down, or turn the music down!! after handling a body i always scrub (evern after wareing gloves). its a must of the job or i mite get a free bit edge its way in to my big mac!! lol
 
LottieA3 said:
Oooh great...:thumbsup:

So then,

do the bodies smell? --- -- 90% no, but sometimes

do they still have clothes on? -------sometimes

do you ever make jokes about the person?-----al the time!

do work at night or the day time? -----depends, work late but never all night

whats your official job title?-----Van driver ;)

do you have to have qualifications for what you do? --a strong stomach

why dont you do pstmortuming, it'd be more fun maybe???-- fun yes watching me hack some 1 apart... i need to be qualified for that!!

Don't forget to answer my other questions above lol
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any more?? lol
 
LottieA3 said:
So if someone gets stabbed and there body cut up and spread all along a canal side and in the water, do you have do pick the remains and gooey bits up?
Click to expand...

I think the Police have specific Body Recovery Teams for that delightful task.

In answer to your humour question I'm sure they do make jokes, like traffic cops, they make humour out of dark situations, its not meant to be disrespectful or make light of anything, but helps them deal with gruesome jobs.
 
quattrojames said:
I think the Police have specific Body Recovery Teams for that delightful task.

In answer to your humour question I'm sure they do make jokes, like traffic cops, they make humour out of dark situations, its not meant to be disrespectful or make light of anything, but helps them deal with gruesome jobs.
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got it in 1 mate.
 
LottieA3 said:
Blooming ek, its one amazing job, its made me quite intrigued to be honest. I am not sure how I would react in that sort of job...but like I said, I'd probably ball my eyes out or I would just be gobsmacked and stare!!! I'm good at staring.

I'd be worried about body part juice being on me somewhere though, so I'd have to wear an all in one suit...bit like an Astronauts suit including the helmet part.

Do you have kids? Do they know? yes 5yr old boy, yes he knows. 1 on way. no it dont know!
Can't you catch things from them? if ya unlucky.. but very unlikey

Sorry, there was a few more questions just there.

Ooh just one more...can you take photo's of them? er... yes but not to post on here!! mite be some leagle issues there!
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as for body juice... thre is normally very little, but if there is a gooie 1 there in special sealed bags that dont leak. :)
 
LottieA3 said:
I use to bag dead animals at the vets I use to work at...I had to bag ducks, dogs of all sizes, cats, other birds, iguna once too...so I guess a bit similar? Yes? No? lol

A lot smaller though.

Although some dogs are blooming huge and heavy.

Does the human body go rock solid like animals do when they are deaded? I guess so.

Once I put the wrong name tag on the dog(gy) bag :)lmfao: at doggy bag) anyway, and it was for private cremation and we didnt realise until the other dog in the bag's owners came to collect the dog and said it wasnt there...I had sent the wrong one off for cremation. Oopsie.
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woooops!!

yes bodys are hard to the touch. but arms and legs still flap about all over the place if ya dont strap em down!!

was the owner ****** off when they come to pick up pickles the doberman and ended up with killer the jack russel?? lol:)
 
Its certainly a very interesting job. Makes you realise how different people are as i'd never be able to get over some of the things you must have seen.
 
I've dealt with bagging and tagging quite a few from various different circumstances, One of the funniest (honestly)

Was this old alchoholic guy who'd died at home, no one found him for 3 weeks, his heating was on full as the meter was rigged and it was summertime...Oh Dear!

Well we always send in the new probationers to get a good look at their first body and get hands on, possibly we shouldn't have made our new boy deal with this one...lol The smell was horrible and when the probie turned the old gadgie over half his face was left kinda stuck to the floor..... God we shouldn't have laughed but the look on the probationers face was a picture....lol
 
Andy D said:
I've dealt with bagging and tagging quite a few from various different circumstances, One of the funniest (honestly)

Was this old alchoholic guy who'd died at home, no one found him for 3 weeks, his heating was on full as the meter was rigged and it was summertime...Oh Dear!

Well we always send in the new probationers to get a good look at their first body and get hands on, possibly we shouldn't have made our new boy deal with this one...lol The smell was horrible and when the probie turned the old gadgie over half his face was left kinda stuck to the floor..... God we shouldn't have laughed but the look on the probationers face was a picture....lol
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lmfao....

niceness, bet he gagged at that 1!! what is it you do andyD?
 
Can you imagine if we had the american type show 'n tell in school (maybe we do?). Cue 5 yr old "This is some pictures of what my daddy does at work"... and a sternly worded letter to the parents about traumatised kids.
 
Geordie Mike said:
Can you imagine if we had the american type show 'n tell in school (maybe we do?). Cue 5 yr old "This is some pictures of what my daddy does at work"... and a sternly worded letter to the parents about traumatised kids.
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lmfao.... can picture my boys teachers face now! lol
 
Alpine, do you ever find out what happends to the people you clean up, like this case for example, what background did the person have, was it another one of those "daughter disgraced the family" killings, was it gang violence... where the hell did they find the suitcase??
 
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