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Thread: heartbroken

  1. #1
    205man's Avatar
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    heartbroken

    some people will probably read this and think i should get a life but im hoping some people will read this and know how i feel, so i know im not alone to feel like i do.

    i had to have my dog "tigger" put down yesterday, tigger was not only my pet he was my best friend, and i miss him so much, and what make it worse im blaming myself for his death and its killing me.

    ive had him since he was 3 months old i got him from a rescue centre and ive had him almost 10years, and we do and go every where together.

    it all because i was doing a service on my gfriends car on tuesday, tigger always sits by the cars whne im working on them, i went into answer the phone and when i came out he ran from under the car knocking over the oil and antifreeze, so i told him off for being clumsy, so i finished the cat ehn went for our regular walk.

    i got up yesterday to find tigger had been sick all over the kitchen and was shaking, couldnt walk/kept falling over and was disorienteated.

    so i raced him to the vets, who did a blood test which said he had antifreeze in his blood or what ever is in it, and told me he had less than 30% chance to live, but they would try, i stayed with him for an our before he fell unconsius, and vet told me to go they would call me evry hour, which they did,

    at 11.30 ish they rang to say his kidneys had failed but they would keep trying, i then went back and sat with him he was still unconsious,

    he woke up at 3pm but hten had a fit and was shaking etc, they gave him something to calm him, but with every breathe he cried as if in pain, he couldnt focus on me but when i moved to see the vet he knew id gone and started to cry, i couldnt go on anymore and let him suffer the vet said he didnt think he survive the night

    so i told him to dtop hios suffering and put him to sleep, it was the hardest thing ive ever done my head said yes it was for the best but my heart said no

    but i didnt want them to ring me in the morning and say id lost him, i iwanted him to know i was there and let me be the las t person he heard and saw before he went, so i held his head and the vet did his job they put him to sleep at 3.30, i let him at 2 hours later, i couldnt let him go.

    and this is all because i was carless with what i left lying round, i dint know he had drunk any coolant, i could have possibly ssaved him if id know that day. but it my heart i killed my best friend and i can neer forgive myslef for that

    ive not written this looking for sympathy, and some people will say im stupid and should get a life it was a dog, but those of you who have dog know they are more than that and i can never repalce him or would want to.

    my house feels so empty without him, so does my life

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  3. #2
    Randomjim's Avatar
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    That's rough mate. Sorry to hear it. Very unfortunate accident though i don't think you should blame yourself for it.
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  4. #3
    rickparmar's Avatar
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    accidents happen mate, dont go blaming your self

    am really sorry what happen mate
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    Sorry to hear that, you must be gutted.
    Most people don't realise how sensitive both cats & dogs skin is. My sister used to work at a vets and had seen similar tragedies. One dog had got paint on his fur and the owner had tried to get it out using white spirit. This had then got into his bloodstream and subsequently killed him. Animals rely on their fur to protect their delicate skin so it's easily done, I wouldn't have known either. Try not to beat yourself up too much about it.
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  6. #5
    205man's Avatar
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    everyone says it was an accidnet, but i cant just get teh what ifs out of my head, and the thing that makes it harder is i work form home and tigger sleeps next to my desk when im working in my office and its not the same anymore.

    the vet syas hes sure tigger drank the coolant as its sweet to taste and it happen more often than people think, it only take about a tablespoon to kill a dog apparently, even if he had just had a quick lick it was propbaly only a matter of time, because i ididnt know straight away, and by the time i found him in the morning it was already to late

    we are due to move to a new house and one one of the reasons we chose it was for the size of the garden for tigger and the fact that its near to the river/woods so great places to take him for a walk, but now im not even sure i want to move there at the moment because he was one of the reasons for choosing it.

    i just need sometime to get over it, and look back at the good times, but the blame im not sure will go away
    Last edited by 205man; 7th February 2008 at 18:48.

  7. #6
    treblesykes's Avatar
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    Not good.. poor dog. But you cant protect the nosey little buggers from every danger. He would have had a crap life without the freedom you obviously gave him.
    Last edited by treblesykes; 7th February 2008 at 18:49.

  8. #7
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    Mate that is a truly awful (and without wishing to patronise, this next word is crucial - but it may be harder to see now than in time) accident.

    Thinking things like 'get a life' wouldn't ever come close to entering my head - and I would hope that would go for everyone else too - dog-owner or otherwise. I do have a dog, and I completely understand why they are sometimes referred to as 'man's best friend'. Because of that I can only guess at how upset you are.

    You have to try to separate grief from blame I think. I wouldn't ever suggest trying to avoid grieving for your departed companion, but as the others have said, I certainly don't think, even for a second, that you should blame yourself. I am fully aware however, that it is far easier for me to say that than for you to feel it. Especially at the moment; but perhaps in time it will be easier.

    It isn't accurate, or fair, to say you shouldn't have left him unattended, or should've moved te coolant just as much as it wouldn't be accurate or fair to say he simply shouldn't have drank the coolant. The simple fact is that he didn't know any harm would come from the situatuion, and nor did you. That is what makes it an accident.

    Your handling of the events after the accident were, in my own opinion, flawless - your account is testament to the caring way you dealt with the impossible choices you had to make. Sometimes great friends have a duty to do extremely difficult things for the benefit of the other; and that's exactly what you did. You did the right thing in ending his suffering, in your presence, the presence of his caring friend.

    As I've said, I know not blaming yourself at the moment seems just as hard, if not harder than the choice you had to make with the vet, but try your best, and time will help.

    Remember the good times bud...

    With deepest condolences...

    Rob
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  9. #8
    jeffers999's Avatar
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    Very sorry for you mate i have a dog and couldnt think of him not being here going crazy every time i walk in from work, but one thing i know from experience is that time is a healer know it dont feel like it now.....
    Dont go blaming your self accidents do happen..
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  10. #9
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    Setting aside for a moment the awful manner in which you lost Tigger, I feel for you, and fully understand the grief you're going through. My wife and I I lost our dog about five months ago, and I miss him dreadfully still. Barney was my soul mate, and a right cheeky little sod into the bargain. It's taken until now before we were ready to get another dog (note, I didn't say "replace" - like you said, you can never replace a dog, only ever get another) and just this week, we have chosen our next little mutt. He'll join us in about three weeks, when he's old enough.

    This won't make you feel any better right now, but I hope in time you'll be ready to do the same. Until then ,grieve all you need to over Tigger, but do not blame yourself for his passing.
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    Mate, don't blame yourself for what has happened. You could have been right beside Tigger working on or under the car and still not noticed what he was up to. You done the best you could for him and took the right decision to end his pain.

    Remember all the happy times you both had together, and time will heal the hurt you feel, but he will always be remembered.

    My thoughts are with you, Karl

  12. #11
    fingermouse's Avatar
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    had to put my dog down many years ago and its one of the hardest things ive ever had to do so i feel your pain.

    think of the good 10 years you have given him.

    If poss rescue another dog, I know you can`t replace him but there some things only a dog can do.
    red to red black to black blue to bits

  13. #12
    TDI-line's Avatar
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    Very sorry to hear this, hope you start feeling better soon.

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    sat1983's Avatar
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    This is one of the most heartbraking story I've ever had to read. I genuinely am sorry to hear about your loss mate. Don't blame yourself, it really was an accident.
    All the best.
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    My sympathies are with you at this difficult time. I've never owned a dog but can relate to how you feel as I unexpectedly lost my dad 3.5 years ago. I was only 27 at the time and it was a total shock to my family, and im left with just my mum, sister & nephew basically. Its hard to lose someone or something that means so much to you like this, and its hard to know if the pain of loss ever truely goes away. What you do have however is your memories, and these can keep you going through the hard times. We can offer our condolances and say this wasnt your fault but its you that needs to accept this truely was an accident. I think you've proven to the world your love for Tigger by the care you showed him when you realised he was poorly. That took great strength. Let your family be there to support you and grieve openly. Thoughts are with you.

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    motorbikez's Avatar
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    Very sorry to hear about your loss I had a jack russell for 17 years and was gutted when I had him put to sleep in fact I bottled it the first time.But he had some kind of cancer due to old age and wasn't going to get any better.I know to some people this might sound stupid but I was just as upset over my dog dying as when my father died when I was 25.
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  17. #16
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    I feel gutted for you, I would hate to be in the same position as yourself.

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    I feel or you. My two labs are my best friends. I'm dreading the day they get taken away from me. The impending house move/divorce means I have to give them up.... and it's tearing me apart. Whats even worse is that I'll know they are still alive and missing me as much as I will miss them.

    All I can say is chin up and don't blame yourself. You did the right thing and I admire your choice by ending his suffering. He'll be looking down on you and saying thank you. Just remember. When it's your time to go, he'll be waiting for you wagging his tail.

  19. #18
    205man's Avatar
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    thank you everyone for you kind words, im truly touched mor ethan you could imagine,

    i only wrote this as a really wanted to know if what im feeling right now was normal, and if i was the opnly one who has felt like this.

    i also wanted to talk to someone, i needed someone to listern to how im feeling, and im not good at talking to people to descibe so writing it was the best way for me to open my heart up

    i know it was an accident that probably couldnt be avoided but i still have that feeling of blame and that really makes it worse, the last couple of days have felt like im walking round in some sort of trance.

    and with everything that has happend i completely forgot that this sunday would have been his 10 birthday day,

    but i will go on, that is to be expected, it just going to be a much quieter/lonelier place, i just to wait now til nest week when i collect his ashes, i think it will be then that it finally sinks in

    but thank you everyone, your words do help, and thank you for your support, even though i have never met any off you,

    alan

  20. #19
    german masterpiece's Avatar
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    sorry to hear that mate sound like he had a good life with you though

  21. #20
    Techimike's Avatar
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    Hi 205
    That has got to be one of the most moving posts on here and I can understand what you are going through and you have my deepest sympathy, I have my own performance/tuning company and I have a 15 month old German shepard that goes to work with me every day and I have never even given antifreeze a second thought,being extreamly poisonous to any dog so just think in writing your post how many owners will now move antifreeze out of the way of their animals. Youve probably just saved my dogs life as I leave 5 litres of the stuff easily within his reach on a day to day basis as im working on customers cars and not always able to keep an eye on him.
    Im going into work tomorrow to move it well out of his way
    So thank you for putting this post up

  22. #21
    Yeee-haw
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    I held our yorkshire terrier (Penny) while she was put to sleep as a teen. You don't want to see it but have to be there. It's horrible. Feel for you.

 

 

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