some people will probably read this and think i should get a life but im hoping some people will read this and know how i feel, so i know im not alone to feel like i do.
i had to have my dog "tigger" put down yesterday, tigger was not only my pet he was my best friend, and i miss him so much, and what make it worse im blaming myself for his death and its killing me.
ive had him since he was 3 months old i got him from a rescue centre and ive had him almost 10years, and we do and go every where together.
it all because i was doing a service on my gfriends car on tuesday, tigger always sits by the cars whne im working on them, i went into answer the phone and when i came out he ran from under the car knocking over the oil and antifreeze, so i told him off for being clumsy, so i finished the cat ehn went for our regular walk.
i got up yesterday to find tigger had been sick all over the kitchen and was shaking, couldnt walk/kept falling over and was disorienteated.
so i raced him to the vets, who did a blood test which said he had antifreeze in his blood or what ever is in it, and told me he had less than 30% chance to live, but they would try, i stayed with him for an our before he fell unconsius, and vet told me to go they would call me evry hour, which they did,
at 11.30 ish they rang to say his kidneys had failed but they would keep trying, i then went back and sat with him he was still unconsious,
he woke up at 3pm but hten had a fit and was shaking etc, they gave him something to calm him, but with every breathe he cried as if in pain, he couldnt focus on me but when i moved to see the vet he knew id gone and started to cry, i couldnt go on anymore and let him suffer the vet said he didnt think he survive the night
so i told him to dtop hios suffering and put him to sleep, it was the hardest thing ive ever done my head said yes it was for the best but my heart said no
but i didnt want them to ring me in the morning and say id lost him, i iwanted him to know i was there and let me be the las t person he heard and saw before he went, so i held his head and the vet did his job they put him to sleep at 3.30, i let him at 2 hours later, i couldnt let him go.
and this is all because i was carless with what i left lying round, i dint know he had drunk any coolant, i could have possibly ssaved him if id know that day. but it my heart i killed my best friend and i can neer forgive myslef for that
ive not written this looking for sympathy, and some people will say im stupid and should get a life it was a dog, but those of you who have dog know they are more than that and i can never repalce him or would want to.
my house feels so empty without him, so does my life