JMB RetrofitsEM Tuning
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  1. #1
    ardandy's Avatar
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    Diesel v Petrol!

    Quality thread IMO!

    Not mine so don't threaten me!

    At the age of 26 I've finally discovered that life is infinitesimally short. It is obscenely brief and you must squeeze every moment out of it.

    I, to my very great shame, have not been doing this. Two years ago I made a huge blunder. A blunder greater than the vast amount of money I lost in an internet venture in 2000, greater than the preposterous game of "who can leave starting their revison latest" I used to play with my (cleverer) friend for our A-levels and indeed considerably more foolish than hitherto most foolish time of my life - when I tried to drive through a road block set up specifically to stop me after an 8 mile chase by the police just outside Leeds.

    "Stop you wee ****e. The speed limit down here is fifty five not a hundred-and-****ing-fifty-five"

    I bought a 530D.

    I was driving 25,000 miles a year and had read too many car magazines. I'd absorbed too much smug toss about "real world performance", read about "effortless overtaking" once too often and actually started to believe that torque was all that really mattered.

    Oh dear.

    So there it sat on the driveway. Sucking the very life out of me every time I got into it. Every time I tried to overtake and ran out of revs. Every time there was another injector problem, maf-fecking-sensor issue, a turbo on it's way out. Every wee slide on my favourite roundabouts that was curtailed by a lack of revs. The hideous clatter. The teeth grindingly tedious conversations with fellow 530D drivers about how fast they are (even though they're not) and all the made up stories about how economical they are.

    Self-satisfied smug barsteward

    I started off the period of ownership looking like the fellow on Lord of the Rings that the ladies like. Full of bravado, swagger and a bit of a cheeky grin. By the end of the two years when I finally had enough I was like Gollum. I'd had every inch of life sucked clean out of me and my only obsession was to get out of that fecking car even if I had to cover hundreds of miles in a stinking loincloth through the camera crew infested mountains of New Zealand.

    I had to get out of it and purify myself. Cleanse my smug middle-class mind of the filth that it had absorbed in the previous two years. The hideous all-pervading nightmare and lie that is the modern diesel.

    On Tuesday of this week I chopped it in for a last of the line E39 540i Sport and gradually my life is seeping back. The exquisite pleasure of keeping my average mpg below 15. The relentless glares and tutting from casual road users as I pointlessly blip at every opportunity. Every roundabout becomes a glorious wail of preposterous wheelspinning slides. Horror from Grannies and mums with prams. Even my 8 year old daughter insists on keeping her window down just to hear it.

    But with every look of horror and every tut my life seeps back. I get stronger, I get wiser and a few of the mums are starting to give me little coy looks. Deep down they despise their diesel driving husbands and they know that I represent freedom. Freedom from yet another fvcking story about how many miles they got out of a tankful.

    I'm back and I'm happy. Not fully well yet by any means but I'm getting there.

    So diesel vs petrol. I really don't think that's a question that any truly sane car fan should be asking. There's a finite amount of oil left. Don't let it simper away in justifications of real world performance. Get yourself out there in the petrol car and let those revs wail.

    Here, here!
    Last edited by ardandy; 30th October 2006 at 13:20.

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  3. #2
    batwad's Avatar
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    When I'm in the position of being financially able to keep my average MPG below 15, I fully intend to. Great post!

  4. #3
    smee's Avatar
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    Wise words indeed.

    My budget is smaller than yours by the look of it but I have been in a similar position for the past 3 years. My current car was my first diesel, a Merc C200 Cdi. There is only so much enjoyment you can get out of telling people (who obviously did not care!) that you can get 600 miles to a tank!?!
    I have placed an order for a A3 Sportback 2.0T Q Spec edit so hopefully when it is delivered in a couple of months my return to real motoring and life will follow shortly afterwards.

    P.S. If your last car was a BM and your new car is a BM, why are you posting on an Audi forum?

  5. #4
    ardandy's Avatar
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    It's not my post, hence the first line.

    Plus I own a Corrado VR6.

  6. #5
    smee's Avatar
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    Oops missed that.

    How is the VR6. I have a friend who is still weeping over selling his 4 years ago. Reckons it was the best car he ever had.

  7. #6
    ardandy's Avatar
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    You have to take a good raping from the petrol station every week (average 23-25mpg for work, mainly in town) and it is 13 yrs old so things go wrong, but yeah, its great!

    Only a few thousand left in the UK and still it competes with the best! 197bhp at the mo, standard.

  8. #7
    dmaudi's Avatar
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    excellent post, PETROL RULES

    know its not you but not sure about the wheelspinning by mums with prams,

    but my 8yr old daughter too (and the 10yr old in me) loves those rollercoaster ride roadabouts and cloverleaf motorway slips

    oh and who doesn't on occasion blip the throttle just to check its still running at the lights ....and to put others in their place
    .
    2012 Q3 S line S-Tronic 177 TDI
    2013 MINI GP

    Previously B8 S4, 8P A3 3.2Q

  9. #8
    marmite's Avatar
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    Petrol please had 2.5Tdi Allroad before..far too grown up...quick car though tons of torque.

    Can't and will never beat the growl and noise of a Petrol engine!!

    Broom Broom Broom Broom !!!! Love it...need a fuel card though!
    Audi RS6 Daytona GreyLoving all 455.7BHP of her

  10. #9
    Rev-head's Avatar
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    I have the luxury of having both but if i am honest i drive the diesel more these days than the petrol.......
    Urq RR
    S2 Coupe...RS2 +
    S2 Avant (slipper wagon spec)
    A4 AVANT TDI

  11. #10
    marmite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rev-head
    I have the luxury of having both but if i am honest i drive the diesel more these days than the petrol.......
    Snap my mrs has got a VW Bora 130bhp and that is really nice to drive, she keeps using mine so I run that if not using the mini, but journey in the mini when raining is not much fun...wipers are crap, demist crap, water on the coil..spluter spluter

    Bora does so many miles to the gallon even if driven hard!
    Audi RS6 Daytona GreyLoving all 455.7BHP of her

 

 

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