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  1. #1
    wilko's Avatar
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    VXR Corsa!!! lol

    A friend sent me this... it made me giggle!!

    www.vxronline.co.uk/me....php?t=714

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cry.gif[/img]

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  3. #2
    nervus's Avatar
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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    link doesn't work!

  4. #3
    hop2407's Avatar
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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    Doesn't work for me either.....

  5. #4
    wilko's Avatar
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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    Sorry guys:
    Click Here

  6. #5
    Numptie of the highest order

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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    Reduces weight by lower the back seats... what a [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/swear.gif[/img], the only thing he could have claimed that does is lower the centre of gravity but even then he's missing the point - knob! [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh_roll.gif[/img]

  7. #6
    dummi's Avatar
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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    thats hilarious weight can be reduced by flattening sears is my fav, people frustrated with their cars talk so much sh*t lmao

  8. #7
    S4_dan's Avatar
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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    It's all plastic inside andut. horrible looking car. what a saddo!

  9. #8
    MikeA3's Avatar
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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    I like the fact that he only drives with 10 worth of optimax in the car at any one time in order to save weight

    Even better was the fact that no one else gets to go in his car - i bet there all devastated [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cry.gif[/img]

    Get back to Mcdonalds car park before youre missed

  10. #9
    nervus's Avatar
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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    "Often I put the rear seats flat, this reduces weight. (Like why you crawl flat across a frozen pond so as not to break the ice)."

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cry.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cry.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cry.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cry.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cry.gif[/img]

  11. #10
    Ibis S3 Fan Club

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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    Please tell me this is a wind up !, surely nobody is this thick [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

  12. #11
    Numptie of the highest order

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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    Nope I think he's DEADLY serious - I'm sure Darwin will help him on his way sooner or later!

  13. #12
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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    How much of a d!ckhead is it possible to be and still be allowed a driving licence?!

    That guy should not be allowed inside his own head without adult supervision.

    I blame Care in the Community myself.

  14. #13
    S4_dan's Avatar
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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    [ QUOTE ]
    I blame Care in the Community myself.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Or lack of???

  15. #14
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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    Ha Ha Ha... fookin hilarious......

  16. #15
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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    My biggest concern is his username. He's called "police_driver". If he IS actually a police driver, God help us all. In fact, if he's even a beat-bobby, god help us all. What chance have we got if that's what we have out and about "protecting" us?

  17. #16
    nervus's Avatar
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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    I would love it if he were a police driver - It wouldnt suprise me after watching their lack of ability in handeling cars of the BBC1 programme.

    What do you expect though, most of them have never owned anything with any go in it until they joined the police.

    I bet all the corsa SRI owners are gutted they paid extra for the SRI. What they should have done is bought SXI's pumped the tyres up and put the rear seats down.

    How will the police catch a rogue in a T5 with over inflated tyres and T5R badges

  18. #17
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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    Damm, I knew I should have specced the fold-down rear seats in my saloon now. It would be so much cheaper than a re-map.

  19. #18
    Yeee-haw
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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    You'd have thought that he'd think he'd want to flatten his tyres, as that would reduce the downforce/cm^2

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cry.gif[/img]

    <font color="blue"> </font> "The rear seat thing, It is rare that I fold them down, but it has to be said that when folded they remove a bit of weight. Vertical seats exert more downward force because the energy is focused on a smaller surface area. When horizontal, the weight is spread and so is less per Centimetre squared."

    <font color="black"> </font> Oh well, guess that's what a physics GCSE does for you now.

    Mike

  20. #19
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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    [ QUOTE ]
    How will the police catch a rogue in a T5 with over inflated tyres and T5R badges

    [/ QUOTE ]

    LMAO [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cry.gif[/img]

    Must find some of that wash and wax stuff though. To think manufacturers test their cars when really laden down with years of grime [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img]

  21. #20
    daverob's Avatar
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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    This young guys a Muppet [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/bang.gif[/img]

  22. #21
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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    Quality. What an absolute to$$er. And what a truly hideous colour that car is [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/vomit.gif[/img]

  23. #22
    Numptie of the highest order

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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    Damn, just signed up to take the [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/swear.gif[/img] then realised the thread was locked - DOH!!!

  24. #23
    Beerzo's Avatar
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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    He is almost as bad as Shabaz from Big Brother.

    trying so save weight what a fude, although he should as a corsa couldnt pull the cheese from a dirty C**K.

  25. #24
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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    That is a true SPACE CADET!

  26. #25
    Numptie of the highest order

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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    I was just going to say as you are trying all these futile things to save weight, why did you stick all that plastic crap down the side and one the front / back then add more paint over the whole car?

  27. #26
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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    Police_Driver in another thread:

    'I have also driven both the ST and the VXR. I have driven the 3 door ST twice, and the 5 door once. I have driven the Astra VXR twice.

    The 3 door ST made me smile, it felt quick, I loved it. That was before I drove the VXR. Having driven it the first time, I felt it was difficult to control. Luckily I am used to front wheel drive and so the handling was not alien to my driving style. However all you have to do with the VXR is place your foot on the pedal and already it is jumping and jolting forwards like a banchee. You do not get this in the ST. I believe the ST is a safe, average hot hatch. I also believe the VXR is an unruly beast that only proper drivers, those who understand the technicalities of driving, can reap serious rewards from.

    I found the Astra only needed a mm of acceleration around gradual corners to put it on the limits of adhesion. This is despite approaching every corner wide and straight lining the road to obtain maximum wheel grip. This is an odd sensation, one I have never felt before. Most will say, well, it is over powered and blah blah blah. I don't, I just think that it means you can achieve maximum cornering from the car without flooring the pedal round the corners.

    The ST's front end looks like a fish anyway. Have you noticed, its beady eyes and wide crustacean eating mouth. The lower paint strip is far too thin on the ST, and this means it is lacking in the style department.'

    So now we all know how its done! What a donut.

  28. #27
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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    Ahhh, I actually feel for the Dude.

    It's gone past that point where you think what a c0ck, and I just feel sorry for him!

    I had a corsa as a courtesy car once. Fck me, the worst car i've ever driven ar none. My old Fiesta was so much nicer, and fun to drive. The Seat was in the wrong place and far too high and it wouldn't go back far enough (I'm only 5"11!)!

    I actually really stuck my foot in it a while ago, was at my girlfreinds when her aunty came round, sh said "is that your COrsa outside?" I said yes, and then went off on one with "who in their right minds would ever consider one" etc. A bit later I looked outside, and there was her car... A blue Corsa! D'oh.

    Awful. Yet so many people buy one!

  29. #28
    Numptie of the highest order

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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    Oh my life, won't be long before he's in a tree... flooring a FWD car to make it go around a corner better think if he realised he was causing understeer in rather large ammounts he'd stop trying that. Please Darwin take this one from us before he has chance to breed!

  30. #29
    hud at ye bam

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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    To be fair, his literary abilty isn't that bad. Shame he's fookin clueless. I was expecting to read something about making sure you have a hefty dump before you go out on a run - those extra ounces count!!!

    What about his sig? WTF? Gotta be a wind-up...

  31. #30
    imported_CurryMilkShake
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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    [ QUOTE ]
    Damn, just signed up to take the [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/swear.gif[/img] then realised the thread was locked - DOH!!!

    [/ QUOTE ]

    However on page 10 of that site's memberslist, is police_driver and he has thoughtfully included his email address as a public item for anyone who did want to express their appreciation of his literacy, or to query his understanding of physics.


    Perhaps Recaro should make a new range of seats - 'Reclino', where both the seat and the driver are in a reclined position, and therefore 'lighter'... defining a new driving position: the 'go-faster slump!'

    what a complete prat!

  32. #31
    jojo's Avatar
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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    I reckon it's JPO taking the peepee. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cry.gif[/img]

  33. #32
    dummi's Avatar
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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    my dad actually figured it out after much amusement, police driver obviously mistook his corsa sxi for a dragster and the geometry of the weight of his seat was causing wheel rear wheel hop and landing the rear end, lowering the seat lowers the centre of gravity lmao like a that would happen in a 1.2L unless it is a really crap car.. oh wait.. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

  34. #33
    beaker's Avatar
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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    I'm so tempted to join that site just to take part.

  35. #34
    neil.c's Avatar
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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    Nice colour car, nice place to live [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

  36. #35
    The Slug's Avatar
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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    [ QUOTE ]
    [ QUOTE ]



    Perhaps Recaro should make a new range of seats - 'Reclino',


    what a complete prat!

    [/ QUOTE ]

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cry.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cry.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cry.gif[/img]

  37. #36
    neil.c's Avatar
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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    Why was it locked I wonder it was just getting interesting, could have easily gone to a few pages

  38. #37
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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    [ QUOTE ]
    [Perhaps Recaro should make a new range of seats - 'Reclino', where both the seat and the driver are in a reclined position, and therefore 'lighter'... defining a new driving position: the 'go-faster slump!'

    what a complete prat!

    [/ QUOTE ]

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cry.gif[/img]

  39. #38
    rs13219's Avatar
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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    [ QUOTE ]
    Perhaps Recaro should make a new range of seats - 'Reclino', where both the seat and the driver are in a reclined position, and therefore 'lighter'... defining a new driving position: the 'go-faster slump!'

    what a complete prat!

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Am sure these reclino seats are already on the market, keep seeing chavs who have their seat that far back that you can only make out the burberry cap & one hand on the steering wheel when the car is in motion. Must see where they're going through the sunroof!

  40. #39
    necroeire's Avatar
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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    Priceless - [ QUOTE ]
    Mate ur babbling on about a 1.2 corsa sxi here as if its some sort of track weapon ,my sister used to have 1 a theese and tbf it didnt have enof power to pull a jews foreskin back ,of course she didnt drive around with the back seats folded down and the tyres over inflated for that extra BHP need to check halfords next time im in aswell for that aerodynamic polish

    [/ QUOTE ]

    What a dunderhead!!

    Should have done the community service instead of enrolling in the special needs classes while in prison, he would have learned more I think.

  41. #40
    imported_CurryMilkShake
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    Re: VXR Corsa!!! lol

    top sig from one of the other people on that forum:



    _________________
    I drive 2 Cossies - a 3door Sierra and a 400+Bhp Escort.
    And I don't over inflate my tyres or fold down the rear seats to save weight and add Bhp.... pmsl





    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/****_you.gif[/img]

 

 

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