Grumpy Old Man
Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road in the Scottish Highlands. Suddenly a brand new bright red Porsche 911 appeared and screeched to a halt beside him. The driver, a woman wearing a Chanel suit, a Cartier watch and Versace sunglasses, stepped out and asked the shepherd, "If I can tell you how many sheep you have got, can I keep one?"
The shepherd looked at his large flock of sheep and said, "OK". The woman got out her laptop, made a wireless connection via her mobile phone, entered the NASA website and scanned the field using GPS, then opened a database linked to 60 Excel files with logarithms and pivot tables and then printed a 150 page report on her mobile, portable high-tech laser printer.
She studied the report for a while and then said to the shepherd, "You have exactly 1586 sheep." The shepherd replied, "That's correct. You can have the pick of my flock, help yourself." The woman packed away her equipment, looked at the flock chose the animal she wanted and put it in the boot of her Porsche.
As she is about to leave the shepherd said, "If I can guess your profession will you return the animal to me?" The woman thinks for a moment and then agrees. The shepherd then says, "You are an NHS manager". "Correct", responds the woman, "But how did you know?"
The shepherd replied, "Simple, first you came without being invited. Second, you wasted a lot of time and needed a load of expensive equipment to tell something I already knew. Third, you know nothing about the work I do but interfered anyway - now, can I have my dog back?"