A WOMAN BROUGHT a very limp duck into a vets surgery. As she laid "Cuddles" on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly said, "I'm so sorry, Cuddles has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," He replied.

"How can you be sure?" she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any tests on him or anything. He might be in a coma."


The vet rolled his eyes, sighed and left the room, returning a few moments later with a black labrador retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his paws on the examination table, and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The Vet patted the dog and took him out, returning a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed at the duck. The cat sat back on his hind legs, shook his head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, I hope that confirms it to you. As I said, this is most definitely, a 100% certifiably, dead duck."

Then the vet turned to his computer, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner looked at the bill.

"300!!!!!!!", she cried, "A 300 bill just to tell me my duck is dead!!!!!"

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been 25. But, with the lab report and the CAT scan..."