THE TOP FIVE SMART-*** ANSWERS OF THE YEAR
Smart-*** Answer #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the
ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without
missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not
your stub."
Smart-*** Answer #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery
store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked
a butcher, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The butcher replied,
"No, ma'am, they're dead."
Smart-*** Answer #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for
speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all
day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as
fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent
the kid on his way without a ticket.
Smart-*** Answer #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up
that reads 'Low bridge ahead'. Before he knows it, the bridge is
right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are
backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets
out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his
hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver
says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
Smart-*** Answer #1
The SMART-*** ANSWER OF THE YEAR "THE TEACHER "A college teacher
reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now, Class, I won't
tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow I might
consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness,
or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other
excuses whatsoever!" A smart-*** guy in the back of the room
raised his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I
was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire
class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When
silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the
student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd
have to write the exam with your other hand!"
Smart-*** Answer #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the
ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without
missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not
your stub."
Smart-*** Answer #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery
store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked
a butcher, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The butcher replied,
"No, ma'am, they're dead."
Smart-*** Answer #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for
speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all
day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as
fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent
the kid on his way without a ticket.
Smart-*** Answer #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up
that reads 'Low bridge ahead'. Before he knows it, the bridge is
right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are
backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets
out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his
hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver
says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
Smart-*** Answer #1
The SMART-*** ANSWER OF THE YEAR "THE TEACHER "A college teacher
reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now, Class, I won't
tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow I might
consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness,
or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other
excuses whatsoever!" A smart-*** guy in the back of the room
raised his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I
was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire
class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When
silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the
student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd
have to write the exam with your other hand!"
