Chris NottEM Tuning
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  1. #1
    1st Gear

    Join Date
    Aug 2005

    Classic Duff Adverts

    Classic Ads:

    Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

    A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.

    Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

    Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

    Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

    Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.

    Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.

    We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

    No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent.

    For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.

    For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepherd and an Alaskan Hussy.

    Creative daily specials, including select offerings of beef, foul, fresh vegetables, salads, quiche.

    Great Dames for sale.

    Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

    Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

    Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

    Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.

    If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachasis Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Jean de la Fontain, and Chopin.

    Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.

    The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other athletic facilities.

    Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.

    Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.

    Stock up and save. Limit: one.

    Save regularly in our bank. You'll never regret it.

    We build bodies that last a lifetime.

    This is the model home for your future. It was panned by Better Homes and Gardens.

    For Sale--Diamonds $20; microscopes $15.

    For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.

    Man, honest. Will take anything.

    Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References

    Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.

    And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.

  2. # ADS
    Join Date
  3. #2
    TDI-line's Avatar
    Uber Post Whore

    Join Date
    Oct 2004

    Re: Classic Duff Adverts

    Very good. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh_2.gif[/img]



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