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Thread: Nightmares

  1. #1
    necroeire's Avatar
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    Nightmares

    NIGHTMARE #1
    After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over,
    pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter.
    Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand. "There
    might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied. He opened
    the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting
    neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. naturally, the
    guy began to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously.
    "No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend
    then?" he asked. "No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his
    ear. "Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered g uy. Calmly,
    the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."


    NIGHTMARE #2
    The spark had been lost in this guy's marriage, so he was trying to
    think of a way to rekindle it. One night he came from work, and
    found his wife asleep in bed. He thought to himself, "what should I
    do?" "Oh-I know." He proceeded to get under the covers and go down
    on his wife. Soon she began to gently squirm and moan in pleasure.
    After a few minutes, her body spasmed with ecstasy as she climaxed.
    Afterwards, the man went straight to the bathroom to brush his
    teeth. When he got there, the light was on and he saw his wife
    there shaving her legs. He exclaimed, "What are you doing in
    here?!?" She said, "Shhhh!," pointing at the bed, "You'll wake your
    mother"


    NIGHTMARE #3
    One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to
    kiss each other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling
    a little horny. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand
    against the wall and smiling, he says to her, "Honey, would you
    give me a blow job?" Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My
    parents will see us!" "Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this
    hour?" He asks grinning at her. "No, please. Can you imagine if we
    get caught?" "Oh come on! There's nobody around, the y're all
    sleeping!" "No way. It's just too risky!" "Oh please, please, I
    love you so much?!?" "No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just
    can't!" "Oh yes you can. Please?" Out of the blue, the light on the
    stairs goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair
    disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says, "Dad says to go ahead
    and give him a blow job, or I can do it. Or if need be, mom says
    she can come down herself and do it But for God's sake tell him to
    take his hand off the intercom!"

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  3. #2
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    Re: Nightmares

    HAHAHA funny but sick [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/vomit.gif[/img]

  4. #3
    jojo's Avatar
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    Re: Nightmares

    Priceless [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cry.gif[/img]

  5. #4
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    Re: Nightmares

    the first 2 are just sick. very funny but sick. the 3rd one ive seen that its one of thoose mastercard adverts or somethin. very funny.

  6. #5
    TDI-line's Avatar
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    Re: Nightmares

    Ohhhh, very sick! [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/vomit.gif[/img]

  7. #6
    imported_CurryMilkShake
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    Re: Nightmares

    Mmmm Mmmm mmMMmm mmMUM????













    aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ...........

  8. #7
    The Slug's Avatar
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    Re: Nightmares

    2nd one is great, lmao, 3rd is an advert gud tho

  9. #8
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    Re: Nightmares

    LOL Curry! [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh_roll.gif[/img]

 

 

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