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Thread: Cant beleive this has happened, i'm in bits :(

  1. #1
    cjsuk's Avatar
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    Cant beleive this has happened, i'm in bits :(

    Dunno weather any of you knew but my girlfriend was an an alcoholic and things recently have become bad, we have been together for 4 years.

    It's a long complicated story but today I came home to no sofa, no fridge, no dryer, no washer no girly stuff on the dressing table, no toiletries, none of her clothes, no fire, no microwave and lots of other bits n bobs including her and our new puppy.

    She's left me, but it's her flat (councill) I dunno what to do or anything I'm in a state.

    Got the MOT tommorow and just hope that's good news or thats it, av ad enough!

    Am totally lost.

    So this year Lost a great job, lost my beloved mum and now I have lost my love, what have I done to deserve this?

    The only good thing was finding my A3 and you lot

    I seriousley want to die right now
    Ill try stuff out! If you never try and never fail, you will never know and never learn.

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  3. #2
    Sandra's Avatar
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    Hey Carl, dont talk like that. Just sit down and take a few deep breaths. Try get a good nights sleep.
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  4. #3
    cjsuk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sandra View Post
    Hey Carl, dont talk like that. Just sit down and take a few deep breaths. Try get a good nights sleep.
    I'm sorry, my head is all over, really all over
    Ill try stuff out! If you never try and never fail, you will never know and never learn.

  5. #4
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    Of course you are feeling sh1t. This is a distressing time for you. Nobody would wish this to happen to you.

    You can't see it now, you can't imagine it now, but things will get better. You are in shock, and you are heart broken, and these are powerful emotions mate.

    You need to know where you stand. You need to get advice from citizens advice bureau. And once you know where you stand, go with your gut.

    The thing about the Human beings is that we are really tough, and can adapt to situations that are thrown at us. I think that most of us on here can describe a time when all was going really well, and then suddenly the rug was pulled from under us. We went through the pain, and for a lot of us we are even happier now than we were before.

    This is one of life's big challenges Carl. You have my sympathy. I reckon you are feeling hurt, betrayed, and most likely in a complete daze. All I can recommend is that you take one step at a time. And focus on the important stuff first. Like, where you will live in the short term, medium term and then long term.

    Good luck mate.

    Oh, and good luck with the MOT.
    Live your life as if nobody is watching you.

  6. #5
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    Jeez mate just read this, i know your car past its MOT so thats one thing sorted, was the flat just in her name? have you got any family to go too? you know where i am on saturdays mate..

  7. #6
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    Turn this all arround mate, Look at if from a different angle, It s new start to a new life, yours, your life is like an adventure and when the chips are down the only way you can go is up,

  8. #7
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    Carl,
    I am gutted for you but get where you live sorted then take it from there,after experiencing this kind of year nothing will hit you as hard trust me and that'll hold you in good stead.

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    Carl,

    You know you are a strong individual, a person of credibility and stature; please don't feel sorry and down, as you got your legs, your hands, your bits and bats. Take this as a massive emotional, mental challenge that you can over-come and you can do anything and most importantly try to smile and ask for God.

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    If my fiancee left me like that so suddenly..Id go buy a brand spanking RS6 on her account details!
    Current - 2006 B7 A4 S Line Saloon 2.0T TFSI Special Edition, Unicorn stage 1 remap, Metallic Dolphin Grey, 18" TTRS Rotors, Ferrari Red front/rear Calipers, 3.5" Powerflow tailpipes, BOSE, Cupra R splitter, Chrome grille slats, S4 Mirror covers, Black/silver leather interior, Debadged, Arm rest delete, LED plate lights, Dectane LED Red/Crystal tail lights, HID 6k, RS 4 pedals, Rev D D/V, APR snub mount, NGK 7s

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  11. #10
    Artimus's Avatar
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    sorry to hear your troubles.

    My mum always used to say: What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger! You can get through this ...give it time and you'll be a stronger person for the experiences you've had. If you're troubled at times when your alone, don't be too macho to contact Samaritans.
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  12. #11
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    Jeez Carl; that really is a bad run, absolute sympathy for you mate it's just awful.

    Years ago an ex of mine (of 7 years - but not married to her), left me the week my Grandad died. Whilst he wasn't my Dad, my parents moved out abroad when I was eight, and I was left with my grandparents who bought me up so he was technically like my Dad. In the week he was being cremated I inadvertently found out she'd been back seeing her ex (even though she used to profess he treated her awfully); seemed the rollercoaster life is what she craved more than a bit of 'normality'!.

    At the time I was devastated as I felt when I needed someone most they weren't there. My gran had Alzheimer's so offered little support.

    Lets just say due to some poor decision making on my behalf I ended up in a bit of a mess that year, and I'd hate for you to end up in the same boat. Now I've had the chance / experience to look back and reflect I'd say there is some really good advice in the posts above, so remember:
    • At times like this focus on what makes you happy and try and enjoy it. Don't focus on what you cannot change, it eats your energy and puts you in a bad head space.
    • Don't go rushing out and having any rebound relationships; it can be catastrophic!
    • Don't get involved in anything you know is fundamentally harmful to get through the pain or loss
    • Set yourself some achievable life goals to get you feeling back in the saddle of success (I went and rode the MTB National Champs in 1991/2, and bought a Mk1 Golf!) - it soon cheers you up a bit if you achieve things
    • Mrs. Right will come along. In my youth I went out looking for what I thought I wanted as a partner, and it turns out I'm far happier with a very different kind of person. Mrs Right turned up in my life when I was least expecting it and she's been here ever since!
    • Don't take your ex back unless you categorically believe (and she can demonstrate) it's absolutely the right thing to do. I made this foolish error of judgement as I thought it would bring some stability back to my life, big mistake. For your dignity sometimes it's better to break free and start fresh.
    • Never refer to this stuff as 'luck' (good or bad). Death is inevitable, and people leaving you is rarely a consequence of luck, it's just something that happens as a result of a catalogue of various events. Yes, it's 'unfortunate' in view of where your head is today, but don't let the thought of luck rule your head mate, it will drive you mad. Make your own 'luck' by making solid clear decisions and you'll be back in a good space much quicker. In retrospect i now feel 'fortunate' my ex cleared off now I've sorted my head as I now have a much better life with my new missus (I think you choose better when you're older!)

    You will hurt, it's all part of the healing process, but you will be stronger for it later on. It never feels like it when you're there in the thick of it, but trust me from someone who has been where you are, these are valuable days and ones you'll refer back to as a reference point for the rest of you life. The way you handle it today will define you as a person, and will help you to be stronger and make better decisions in later life.

  13. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Av4nt View Post
    If my fiancee left me like that so suddenly..Id go buy a brand spanking RS6 on her account details!
    Revenge and getting even is the wrong way to go about it! Best to just move on to bigger and better things...



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  14. #13
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    nearly 5 years ago I posted more or less the same thread as you on this site about girlfriend going with no notice, check out my posting history. I thought it was end of the world at the time and for months I still did, now looking back at it it was the best thing that could of happened to me, I know that easy for me to say now but dont give up hope.

    I was single for a year or two it took a while to get used to it but then I started loving it, doing what I wanted when I wanted, sh&gging around, smoking as much as wanted, two weeks holidays to Amsterdam for the gardening nothing else it was great loved it. Then I met new gf now been 3-4 years together she is 100% fitter then my ex and right dirty little minx and 100% loyal, my ex was fat blimp who couldn't keep her knickers on nice big boobies but probably round her ankles now, new girlfriend is 8 years younger then my ex and no saggy bits yet .

    Anyway not sure if that helps you but though it might be hard for a while it will get better and usually for the better.
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  15. #14
    superkarl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Artimus View Post

    My mum always used to say: What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger!
    is your mum kelly clarkson?!
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  16. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by superkarl View Post
    is your mum kelly clarkson?!
    I don't get it ...who's kelly clarkson when she's about?


    My mother is in her late 70's & always did say that.
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  17. #16
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    Empty flat = massive facebook party.

  18. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Artimus View Post
    I don't get it ...who's kelly clarkson when she's about?


    My mother is in her late 70's & always did say that.

    Kelly Clarkson - Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You) (Audio) - YouTube

  19. #18
    Artimus's Avatar
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    oh god, I hope I wasn't supposed to listen to more than 10 seconds of that pretentious c**p! If my mother sounded anything like her I wouldn't have hung around 'til she kicked me out, that's for sure ..my poor ears may never recover.



    testing, testing:



    ahhh ..that's much better.
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  20. #19
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    But if your mum looked like kelly clarkson you wouldn't have moved out


  21. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by crazy88 View Post
    But if your mum looked like kelly clarkson you wouldn't have moved out
    ooookaaaay!
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  22. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by crazy88 View Post
    But if your mum looked like kelly clarkson you wouldn't have moved out
    If you were a part of the family that used to inhabit 25, Cromwell Street, Gloucester then maybe that might be on the menu; but I'm afraid I agree with Artimus on this one!

  23. #22
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    ok forget he said mum. lets say sister, thats totally doable. if she was kelly clarkson. right?.....

  24. #23
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    Someone starts a thread sounding like he's on the verge of committing suicide...... 22 posts later and the thread is about incest.


  25. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ads View Post
    Someone starts a thread sounding like he's on the verge of committing suicide...... 22 posts later and the thread is about incest.

    Post of the week; the end!

  26. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ads View Post
    Someone starts a thread sounding like he's on the verge of committing suicide...... 22 posts later and the thread is about incest.

    It was in general chat...


  27. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by crazy88 View Post
    It was in general chat...
    Mods - can we have a 'I feel like my life is f***ked' section please?



    On a serious note though, anybody know if the OP is coping?

  28. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ads View Post
    Mods - can we have a 'I feel like my life is f***ked' section please?



    On a serious note though, anybody know if the OP is coping?
    i just hope he isnt hanging out the back of his sister

  29. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by superkarl View Post
    i just hope he isnt hanging out the back of his sister
    So very wrong.


    Question... if you have a kid with your sister is the child 'legally' your son or your brother? Or your neice/nephew???

  30. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ads View Post
    So very wrong.


    Question... if you have a kid with your sister is the child 'legally' your son or your brother? Or your neice/nephew???
    If you're lucky given the diversity of the gene pool; it might be human!

  31. #30
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    I'd have to say very very lucky! (that it will be human, not that you scored with your sister)


  32. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by crazy88 View Post
    I'd have to say very very lucky! (that it will be human, not that you scored with your sister)
    I'd have to be very very very lucky to score with my sister, she is the 'hardest to get' woman in the world.

    Although I guess that's got a lot to do with me being an only child.

  33. #32
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    You're an only child? I never knew! I have no idea why, but I assume everyone is from a family of 4 kids like I was :D

    I wouldn't consider myself lucky if i scored with my sister though.


  34. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by crazy88 View Post
    You're an only child? I never knew! I have no idea why
    Sorry, did I forget my usual "Hi, my name is Adam and I'm an only child" greeting when I first spoke to you?


    Quote Originally Posted by crazy88 View Post
    I wouldn't consider myself lucky if i scored with my sister though.
    Why?? Does she look like you?

  35. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ads View Post
    Sorry, did I forget my usual "Hi, my name is Adam and I'm an only child" greeting when I first spoke to you?
    Yes

    Quote Originally Posted by Ads View Post
    Why?? Does she look like you?
    Yes


  36. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by crazy88 View Post
    Yes
    Hi, my name is Adam and I'm an only child.

    Quote Originally Posted by crazy88 View Post
    Yes
    Poor cow, looking like Nicola Cage can't be great for her.


  37. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ads View Post
    Why?? Does she look like you?
    He is his sister on the weekend.

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  38. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ads View Post
    Hi, my name is Adam and I'm an only child.



    Poor cow, looking like Nicola Cage can't be great for her.

    Don't call her a cow...I prefer moose.

    Nicola Cage? WTF? Are you suggesting I look as hot as Nicholas Cage? Wait...are you gay?


  39. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by crazy88 View Post
    Nicola Cage? WTF? Are you suggesting I look as hot as Nicholas Cage? Wait...are you gay?
    No. You look like you should be called Nicolas, and belong in a cage.

  40. #39
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    if this thread doesn't cheer the OP up then nothing will!

  41. #40
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    Well, almost. I am knickerless...for you


 

 
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