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  1. #1
    necroeire's Avatar
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    Nothing but the truth

    Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

    In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife,
    you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you." The
    Lawyer was stunned!

    Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence attorney?" She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in
    the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him." The defence attorney almost died.

    The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench and in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, I'll jail you for contempt."

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  3. #2
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    Re: Nothing but the truth

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cry.gif[/img]

    good one [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

  4. #3
    Ibis S3 Fan Club

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    Re: Nothing but the truth

    [ QUOTE ]
    Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

    In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife,
    you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you." The
    Lawyer was stunned!

    Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence attorney?" She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in
    the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him." The defence attorney almost died.

    The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench and in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, I'll jail you for contempt."

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Pure class [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/bravo.gif[/img]

  5. #4
    DaveACQ20v's Avatar
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    Re: Nothing but the truth

    quality [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ok.gif[/img]

  6. #5
    jdp1962's Avatar
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    Re: Nothing but the truth

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ok.gif[/img]

  7. #6
    audi5e's Avatar
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    Re: Nothing but the truth

    10/10 :-)

  8. #7
    hop2407's Avatar
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    Re: Nothing but the truth

    Excellent... [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cry.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ok.gif[/img]

  9. #8
    TDI-line's Avatar
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    Re: Nothing but the truth

    Priceless. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh_2.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh_2.gif[/img]

  10. #9
    fallmonk's Avatar
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    Re: Nothing but the truth

    Brill mate , pmsl !

 

 

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