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  1. #3441
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    Quote Originally Posted by mikeyg View Post
    I could but as its not of my Mrs it just wouldnt be fair!
    OK, say no more....
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    Quote Originally Posted by Prawn View Post
    Wellyboots, you are quite literally my most favourite pikey in the entire world




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    Mikey you sly dog you

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dane View Post
    Mikey you sly dog you
    Me?? Never!! Was a little bored at work so was having a laugh!

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    PICS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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    Mikey, your avatar cracks me up every time I see it.


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    Quote Originally Posted by crazy88 View Post
    Mikey, your avatar cracks me up every time I see it.
    Yeah it's a classic.
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  8. #3447
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    Quote Originally Posted by crazy88 View Post
    Mikey, your avatar cracks me up every time I see it.
    It made me chickle lots when i first saw it,so had to use it!

    Is there an easier way to post a pic ratehr than uploading to photobucket or something first?

  9. #3448
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    Quote Originally Posted by mikeyg View Post
    It made me chickle lots when i first saw it,so had to use it!

    Is there an easier way to post a pic ratehr than uploading to photobucket or something first?
    Nope photobucket is the best. Get them pics up my son
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    If you got tapatalk on your phone you can use their hosting, thats easy.
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  11. #3450
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    Ads likes this.

  12. #3451
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    New perv
    Florence Brudenell-Bruce

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    WIN! on two counts!

  14. #3453
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    Scott that bird looks about 14!
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  15. #3454
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    Now that would do a turn.... hehehe.

    Do I dare post my pic twice? :-S
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    Quote Originally Posted by Prawn View Post
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  16. #3455
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    Quote Originally Posted by Welly View Post
    Now that would do a turn.... hehehe.

    Do I dare post my pic twice? :-S
    Man up!
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  17. #3456
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    Quote Originally Posted by W3STY View Post
    Scott that bird looks about 14!
    Does a bit.
    shes dating prince Harry.







    Better?
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  18. #3457
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    It's gone very quiet in here!

    Has everyone gone to beat the meat???
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  19. #3458
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    Much Better Scott.

    I'm off to beat the meat
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  20. #3459
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    Quote Originally Posted by W3STY View Post
    It's gone very quiet in here!

    Has everyone gone to beat the meat???
    Nope.
    I've got chilly sauce and powder over my hands.
    So thats not going any where near my 3rd leg.

    I'm reading up on camper van wiring.
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  21. #3460
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    Quote Originally Posted by ScottB5 View Post
    Nope.
    I've got chilly sauce and powder over my hands.
    So thats not going any where near my 3rd leg.

    I'm reading up on camper van wiring.
    Everyone else must be having a shifty then!
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  22. #3461
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    Im still here bits of work to do though

  23. #3462
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    yeah,
    Its not like Mikey works or welly.
    Unless Welly is off getting some pics of that fit bird in his office.
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  24. #3463
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dane View Post
    Im still here bits of work to do though
    Same. Although I do only plan to do 2 things today, totalling about an hours work.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Prawn View Post
    Wellyboots, you are quite literally my most favourite pikey in the entire world




  25. #3464
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    Quote Originally Posted by ScottB5 View Post
    yeah,
    Its not like Mikey works or welly.
    Unless Welly is off getting some pics of that fit bird in his office.
    I need to wait for her to visit the coffee machine..... lol.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Prawn View Post
    Wellyboots, you are quite literally my most favourite pikey in the entire world




  26. #3465
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dane View Post
    Im still here bits of work to do though
    Me too but I'm good at mulititasking
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  27. #3466
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    I just went for my 10am dump. Was a bit late today.

  28. #3467
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    Quote Originally Posted by aythree View Post
    I just went for my 10am dump. Was a bit late today.
    Good skills. Turning out a load at work is a win, saves on bog roll at home
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    Quote Originally Posted by Prawn View Post
    Wellyboots, you are quite literally my most favourite pikey in the entire world




  29. #3468
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    Quote Originally Posted by aythree View Post
    I just went for my 10am dump. Was a bit late today.
    Me 2!

    usually a 10 past 9er myself lol

  30. #3469
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    Quote Originally Posted by Welly View Post
    Good skills. Turning out a load at work is a win, saves on bog roll at home


    Although a lot of my bog roll at home is actually nicked from work.

  31. #3470
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    Quote Originally Posted by Welly View Post
    Good skills. Turning out a load at work is a win, saves on bog roll at home
    Have you boys seen the "salary Timer"? You enter in how much you earn a year and then you press a button on it when you go for a Brad Pitt then press the button when you get back and it tells you how much you've just earnt for having a poo at work

    I think my best was about £6 odd
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  32. #3471
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    Quote Originally Posted by aythree View Post


    Although a lot of my bog roll at home is actually nicked from work.
    We trolley jack the cleaners here. As soon as the cleaner goes into the bogs he leaves his trolley outside. One of us keeps watch while the other nicks the bog roll.
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  33. #3472
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dane View Post
    Me 2!

    usually a 10 past 9er myself lol


    Thing is... I know our receptionist knows I'm off to release a turd (and she knows that I know she knows) because I have to walk directly past her to get to the bogs. Everyday the same time, and I'm gone for about 10-15mins.
    Sometimes I have my phone in my hand to make it look like I'm going to make a phonecall. Other times I just give her a knowing smile.

  34. #3473
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    Whilst we are talking sh1t.......... can have you all seen that sh1t list joke thing???

    It's an oldie but a goodie.

  35. #3474
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    THE DEFINITIVE **** LIST

    • THE GHOST ****

      The kind where you feel **** come out, see **** on the toilet paper, but there's no **** in the bowl.


    • THE CLEAN ****

      The kind where you feel **** come out, see **** in the bowl, but there's no **** on the toilet paper.


    • THE WET ****

      You wipe your ass fifty times and it still feels un-wiped. So you end up putting toilet paper between your ass and your underwear so you don't ruin them with skidmarks.

    • THE SECOND WAVE ****

      This **** happens when you've finished, your pants are up to your knees, and you suddenly realize you have to **** some more.

    • THE BRAIN HEMORRHAGE THROUGH YOUR NOSE ****

      Also known as "Pop a Vein in your Forehead ****." You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke.

    • THE CORN ****

      No explanation necessary.

    • THE LINCOLN LOG ****

      The kind of **** that's so enormous you're afraid to flush it down without first breaking it up into little pieces with the toilet brush.

    • THE NOTORIOUS DRINKER ****

      The kind of **** you have the morning after a long night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the tread mark left on the bottom of the toilet bowl after you flush.

    • THE "GEE, I REALLY WISH I COULD ****" ****

      The kind where you want to ****, but even after straining your guts out, all you do is sit on the toilet, cramped and farting.


    • THE WET CHEEKS ****

      Also known as the "Power Dump." The kind that comes out of your ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.

    • THE LIQUID ****

      The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, splashes all over the side of the toilet bowl and, at the same time, burns your tender poop-chute.

    • THE MEXICAN FOOD ****

      A class all its own.

    • THE CROWD PLEASER

      A **** is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it to someone before flushing.

    • THE MOOD ENHANCER

      Occurring after a lengthy period of constipation, this **** allows you to be your old self again.

    • THE RITUAL

      This **** occurs at the same time each day and is accomplished with the aid of a newspaper.

    • THE GUINESS BOOK OF RECORDS ****

      A **** so noteworthy it should be recorded for future generations.

    • THE AFTERSHOCK ****

      This **** has an odor so powerful than anyone entering the vicinity within the next 7 hours is affected.

    • THE "HONEYMOON'S OVER" ****

      Any **** created in the presence of another person.

    • THE GROANER

      A **** so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance.

    • THE FLOATER

      Characterized by its floatability, this **** has been known to resurface after many flushings.

    • THE RANGER

      A **** that refuses to let go. It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a piece of toilet paper.

    • THE PHANTOM ****

      Appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit to putting it there.

    • THE PEEK-A-BOO ****

      Now you see it, now you don't. This **** is playing games with you. Requires patience and muscle control.

    • THE BOMBSHELL

      A **** that comes as a complete surprise at a time that is either Inappropriate to **** (ie. during lovemaking or a root canal) or you are nowhere near ****ting facilities.

    • THE SNAKE CHARMER

      A long skinny **** which has managed to coil itself into a frightening position... Usually harmless.

    • THE OLYMPIC ****

      Occurs exactly one hour prior to the start of any competitive event in which you are entered and bears a close resemblance to the Drinker's ****.

    • THE BACK-TO-NATURE ****

      This **** may be of any variety but is always deposited either in the woods or while hiding behind the passenger side of your car.

    • THE PEBBLES-FROM-HEAVEN ****

      An adorable collection of small turds in a cluster, often a gift from God when you actually can't ****.

    • PREMEDITATED ****

      Laxative induced. Doesn't count.

    • ****ZOPHRENIA

      Fear of ****ting. Can be fatal! [Editor's note: shouldn't it be "****zophobia"?]

    • ENERGIZER vs. DURACELL ****

      Also known as a "Still Going" ****.

    • THE POWER DUMP ****

      The kind that comes out so fast, you've barely got your pants down and you're done.

    • THE LIQUID PLUMBER ****

      This **** is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows all over the floor. (You should have followed the advice from the Lincoln Log ****.)

    • THE SPINAL TAP ****

      The kind of **** that hurts so much coming out, you'd swear it's got to be coming out sideways.

    • THE "I THINK I'M GIVING BIRTH THROUGH MY ASSHOLE" ****

      Similar to the Lincoln Log and The Spinal Tap ****s. The shape and size of the turd resembles a tall boy beer can. Vacuous air space remains in the rectum for some time afterwards.

    • THE PORRIDGE ****

      The type that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps on coming. You have two choices: (a) flush and keep going, or (b) risk it piling up to your butt while you sit there helpless.

    • THE "I'M GOING TO CHEW MY FOOD BETTER" ****

      When the bag of Doritos you ate last night lacerates the insides of your rectum on the way out in the morning.

    • THE "I THINK I'M TURNING INTO A BUNNY" ****

      When you drop lots of cute, little round ones that look like marbles and make tiny splashing sounds when they hit the water.

    • THE "WHAT THE HELL DIED IN HERE?" ****

      Also sometimes known as The Toxic Dump. Of course, you don't warn anyone of the poisonous bathroom odor. Instead, you stand innocently near the door and enjoy the show as they run out gagging and gasping for air.

    • THE "I JUST KNOW THERE'S A TURD STILL DANGLING THERE" ****

      You sit there patiently, waiting for the last cling-on to fall because if you wipe now, it's just going to smear all over the place.

  36. #3475
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    Quote Originally Posted by aythree View Post


    Although a lot of my bog roll at home is actually nicked from work.
    you got better bog roll than us then.
    I think ours is made from recycled tracing paper.
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  37. #3476
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    Read that sh1t joke post but do in a Richard Pryor voice/style.
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  38. #3477
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    Quote Originally Posted by ScottB5 View Post
    you got better bog roll than us then.
    I think ours is made from recycled tracing paper.
    Haha, yeah I remember the tracing paper bog roll. We used to have it a school. No absorbtion properties at all, it just smears sh1t all over your ass cheeks!

  39. #3478
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    Quote Originally Posted by aythree View Post
    Haha, yeah I remember the tracing paper bog roll. We used to have it a school. No absorbtion properties at all, it just smears sh1t all over your ass cheeks!
    Possibly the only time wedgies ever became usefull.
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  40. #3479
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    On a different note, does anyone else read most new threads that are started or just the ones with interesting titles?

    Loads of people asking the same day old questions recently/not doing things off their own back. grr!

  41. #3480
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dane View Post
    On a different note, does anyone else read most new threads that are started or just the ones with interesting titles?

    Loads of people asking the same day old questions recently/not doing things off their own back. grr!
    I used to reply to most threads but I'm fed up of answering questions about remaps and DVs
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