ASN's Pub

Pfft, people without kids aren't real men!

Who cares if dogs can marginally eat better than children, that's only for the first year maybe. Any animal that can't use their paws to hold a glass or mug for a drink clearly isn't that clever. William has been able to hold his own cup and drink for months now. Your dog just laps it up from a manky bowl.

Pets are stupid. They cost a lot and you get zero return other than a few cuddles. I expect my kids to wipe my *** when I'm old and nearly dead. Can't see your dog's doing that, at most they'd just come round for a sniff!
 
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crazy88 said:
Pfft, people without kids aren't real men!

Who cares if dogs can marginally eat better than children, that's only for the first year maybe. Any animal that can't use their paws to hold a glass or mug for a drink clearly isn't that clever. William has been able to hold his own cup and drink for months now. Your dog just laps it up from a manky bowl.

Pets are stupid. They cost a lot and you get zero return other than a few cuddles. I expect my kids to wipe my *** when I'm old and nearly dead. Can't see your dog's doing that, at most they'd just come round for a sniff!
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My dogs clean up my vomit, as and when I vomit and in no state to clean it myself.

Kids will bleed you dry of money, dad I want this, dad i'm going to uni can you pay, dad I want a car.
Dog needs none of that.
£40 or so a month on food and water out of the tap or rain water. Done.
How much does your kids cost you?
 
pfft! crazy! you really are crazy!
dogs and fish are great you plonker!
dogs, you get loads of enjoyment out of them. you train them to do basically whatever you need them too! (within reason)
there obedient, loyal and very clever! (some anyway), mine is mega fit, unlike myself and keep up a steady pace next to me on my bike for a good 14miles!
there funny too and attract chicks!
fish, well they are great to sit back and chill out and watch, as well as learning how to create and manage an environment for them, you learn so much about there behaviour, (me being a keen angler) found this usefull!
your just a tad weird, you do not drink, eat fish, eat potatoes or work!
oh and your car is poo!








love ya! :arco:
 
il upload more of my hard labour from saturday. That link before was all i could do off my phone.

wicked colour to work on, usually dark colours are more rewarding. But this had an awesome gold flake in it and in the sun its awesome.
 
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There's no way that dogs are better than kids! THey are hairy for a start. Whenever you go to anyone's house with animals they always stink. You walk in the front door and it's clear that they have pets by the rank smell of wet animal.

They get ill, like a broken paw, and the animal doctor charges a fortune. Kids medical treatment is free. My kids will clean up my sick if I want them to, I'm a strict dad and have them well trained. I agree, they cost more than animals, but you get far more in return.

Dogs just look at you all stupid and roll over. They're clearly not that clever otherwise there would be dog universities, jobs for dogs, dogs as MP's etc....but there isn't.

Chez, fish are even more stupid! They are a complete waste of time and money. What do you get in return for them? ZERO!!!!

Don't even get me started on cats.
 
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Clearly your kids? As i'm guessing you're a normal human and want to spend time with other humans rather than 4-legged hairy bags of wind?
 
crazy88 said:
There's no way that dogs are better than kids! THey are hairy for a start. Whenever you go to anyone's house with animals they always stink. You walk in the front door and it's clear that they have pets by the rank smell of wet animal.

They get ill, like a broken paw, and the animal doctor charges a fortune. Kids medical treatment is free. My kids will clean up my sick if I want them to, I'm a strict dad and have them well trained. I agree, they cost more than animals, but you get far more in return.

Dogs just look at you all stupid and roll over. They're clearly not that clever otherwise there would be dog universities, jobs for dogs, dogs as MP's etc....but there isn't.

Chez, fish are even more stupid! They are a complete waste of time and money. What do you get in return for them? ZERO!!!!

Don't even get me started on cats.
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Your house smells of roses?
You got kids that **** out some fowel smelling liquid that will strip paper off a wall at 100 yards, no way does your house smell of roses with 2 rug rats running about.
Bet smells of gone off milk and baby turds festing in a used nappy in corner cause one of them was able to pull it out and throw it round the house.
You can stop dogs from doing that.
a stricked dad?
Bet you're a walk over....or crawl over.
My dogs can walk, poo out side and never want for any thing.
The wet dog smell is only there from people that don't clean the dogs or have a dirty house.
Bit like smell child based houses.

At least with dogs when they get pregnunt we can make money off them, when your kids get pregnunt at 16 from lack of parently interest they will just scab off the goverment!!
 
Animals up to the age of 16 dont cost you on average 250k!

Animals want to love you, kids just want to hate you. Animals dont demand money from you. If you dont buy the animals toys they wont care they`ll still love you but if you did buy them something they love you more. Dont buy the kids toys they want and its ww3. When you do they just act like its expected of you to buy things for them.

Animals dont always stink. Keep good care of them and they wont. Kids stink more than animals when babies. Animals also dont cry over EVERYTHING when they`re young. Its probably my biggest hate with babies and young children. Crying for no reason..just want to beat them lol.
 
Seriously, the poo thing is a dead end for you lot. Already the oldest child is fully potty trained, we don't need to carry a small bag turned inside out whenever we go for a walk like you dog owners do. Is it just a fetish as you enjoy that warm poopy feel in your hands?

Scott, you can't smell the dogs as you live with them, but believe me...they smell. Kids poo smells I agree, but then so does adults. We open the window and it's gone. Dog smells linger. Kids smell of humans, just like you and I. Infact, there's even a case for babies smelling amazing (except for when they have poo'd)

Lets go onto pregnancy. When my wife is pregnant she's hot, her boobs grow and then she squats a baby out who is a bundle of joy. Some sleepless nights for a while, but a lot of rewarding times which far outweigh this. I genuinely think that pets are there to fill a void. Like those crazy cat ladies you get. You're all just crazy dog/fish/bird men.

Can dogs even smile? Like properly smile? I'm aware of those gay meme things on the internet when a dog looks like it's smiling, but an animal that can't even talk, smile or walk on two legs is just a waste of space and resources.
 
yes crazy-hatey-hate dogs can smile!
this one doesn"t but my last one did!
and he he is both my daughters best friend and he does not smell either!
plus, the dog "knew" the baby was coming even before leanne did! he just sensed it! and was acting very weird and excited!
also when layla was born he guarded the moses basket!
we did not train him this, it all came naturally! remarkable! RIP jed
 
When i go for a nice meal i dont have to worry about animals screaming in my ear on the next table.

Find it far more interesting feeding my Piranha`s than i ever will watching a baby slop mush around a high chair and having to clean it up myself. If the Piranha`s detect illness or something bad in the tank they`ll get rid of it to keep their environment clean and safe. I have to clean it like once twice a month if that not twice every 5 minutes.

Women look a fcn mess when pregnant. Eat weird sh!t and say its all your fault when they`re giving birth. Sure the boobs get massive but soon as they have a baby swinging off the nips they`ll be deflated and bang against the knees.
 
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Fair enough, they have an animal instinct. But it's no reason to get one, just cos it felt the force!

My daughters best friend is another human being, one that she can go to school with, play with and talk with (both ways of communication, not just jabbering to an inept animal).
 
Jason.s said:
When i go for a nice meal i dont have to worry about animals screaming in my ear on the next table.
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No, but on a night when owners can't control their dogs the whole neighbourhood is kept awake by dumb dogs who just bark for no reason.

Jason.s said:
Find it far more interesting feeding my Piranha`s than i ever will watching a baby slop mush around a high chair and having to clean it up myself. If the Piranha`s detect illness or something bad in the tank they`ll get rid of it to keep their environment clean and safe. I have to clean it like once twice a month if that not twice every 5 minutes.
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You're a sick man keeping Piranha's! End.

Jason.s said:
... they`ll be deflated and bang against the knees.
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I'm close to admitting defeat on that one. But, Dr. Goodboobs can stick plastic in them and make them all nice again!

And you lot just need good women, mine did none of those when she was pregnant.
 
crazy88 said:
Fair enough, they have an animal instinct. But it's no reason to get one, just cos it felt the force!

My daughters best friend is another human being, one that she can go to school with, play with and talk with (both ways of communication, not just jabbering to an inept animal).
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Do drugs, steal, hurt other humans, over populate the earth, have loads of other babies cause its 'cool to live off the goverment'.

they will live for 80 odd years and fk this world up more than any pet, recent you, hate you but if you're really lucky they might love you and be there when you need them, not as some mum/dad cash machine and hotel.
 
Also if dogs are so pointless why are there so many dogs for illnesses and so on now? Your kid could quite happily read to a dog but wont read to you like a lot of children out there these days. How would that make you feel that your kid wont read to its own parents. Dogs for the blind, dogs that can detect when you`re going to have a seizure or something 40minutes!! before it even happens. Without that animal people like that would be dead or require 24hr care.

Police dogs, bomb dogs in the army, drugs at airports. If a dog found a bomb on someone or a bag that was going to be on your flight you`d treasure that dog for saving your life.
 
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Jason.s said:
Also if dogs are so pointless why are there so many dogs for illnesses and so on now? Your kid could quite happily read to a dog but wont read to you like a lot of children out there these days. How would that make you feel that your kid wont read to its own parents. Dogs for the blind, dogs that can detect when you`re going to have a seizure or something 40minutes!! before it even happens. Without that animal people like that would be dead or require 24hr care.

Police dogs, bomb dogs in the army, drugs at airports. If a dog found a bomb on someone or a bag that was going to be on your flight you`d treasure that dog for saving your life.
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amen to that! and there good!
 
Jason.s said:
...

Police dogs, bomb dogs in the army, drugs at airports. If a dog found a bomb on someone or a bag that was going to be on your flight you`d treasure that dog for saving your life.
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Finally, you have accepted their use! They are work machines, not to be had in the house. I appreciate they have a better sense of smell and are good for working. Doing menial jobs that humans shouldn't have to do, walking with the blind etc.

And very few kids can't read. The majority of the time if they can't it was because their parent failed them and didn't teach them. Similar to dogs, if they aren't trained well they're predators. They only behave because they're scared of owners...much like kids really.
 
LOL that humans shouldnt have to do. So lets say god for bid that it does but if one of your children became blind you wouldnt walk with them?

Its not the fact they cant read its having the confidence. Its nothing to do with the parents its just how the child feels.

Working dogs usually end up going home with the person they work with because of the bond they have. Have you ever watched the videos of soldiers coming home from iraq or where ever and seeing their dog for the first time in x amount of time. They react with a FAR FAR greater love than a human ever would.

Come home after a hard day and the dog will be all over you because it missed you. Come home to kids and they just want dinner or something. Even my cat is pleased to see me and waits by the door when i get home.
 
woah woah woah...you have a cat? They are completely useless! ok, I've admitted dogs have a purpose...as working animals. But what good does a cat do? They just slink around the place looking dubious, like they'll scratch your face off at any moment!
 
audi upgrades
LOL the misses wanted a cat. I just went along with it do keep her quiet. He`s funny though, completely retarded and actually feels no pain. I dont know how he`s not broken his back or something. Throws himself around the house, constantly hitting his head on doors and door frame when he`s playing.

I just stick to my fish and let her do whatever for the cat.
 
crazy88 said:
woah woah woah...you have a cat? They are completely useless! ok, I've admitted dogs have a purpose...as working animals. But what good does a cat do? They just slink around the place looking dubious, like they'll scratch your face off at any moment!
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I agree with on the cat side of things.
They are pointless (apart from their claws).

Dogs have a purpose. which is the same as kids till the kids till they go to school.
 
Jason.s said:
LOL the misses wanted a child. I just went along with it do keep her quiet. They're funny though, completely retarded and actually feel no pain. I dont know how they've not broken their back or something. Throw themselves around the house, constantly hitting their head on doors and door frame when they're playing.
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;) to be fair that's not quite true...I wanted kids too.
 
Dogs > Cats

I don't have dogs, cats or children - I'd like a dogs/children at some point, but not fussed about cats. I can barely look after myself but reckon I'd be OK with a dog. Not ready for children yet though. :blink:
 
Nicki, Chez will come look after you if you like?

Dogs are better than cats, fact. And kids are better than dogs, fact. And men are better than women, fact!
 
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Any animal > children. Apart from Spiders.

Oh and dont change my post mr fisherman :p

On a completely different note i`ve finally managed to sort inters tickets. They`ve just taken it over the phone instead. Hurray!
 
Just asked to be on the stand without so many rapists and bumders, nob gobblers and ballbag ticklers. Also informed them of Coatesy bringing copious amounts of poppers for bumhole relaxation purposes. They`re now going to employ a massive black guy with shovel like hands for cavity searches just to warn you.
 
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crazy88 said:
Can I just point you here please...

http://www.audi-sport.net/vb/forum-how/185160-how-multi-quote.html
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flip+bird+3_thumb.jpg
 
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That ST looks smart, Dodo make some great soft waxes for that paint.

It makes me laugh when people say animals are stupid.

I'm not a huge dog fan, but I've got a bird that could well outlive me and at the age of 6 has the same applied IQ as a six year old child. I come home from work and she asks me how my day was, she cuts her food with a knife and eats off a fork, she has conversations about the things we are doing and sings songs that come on the radio. I get more pride and enjoyment interacting with her than I do with children, because you would never expect her to be so animated and intelligent.

If I take her out for a fly she stays by my side until it is safe to fly and she is just as animated as a toddler if you can pick up on the signs.

Our dog on the other hand is a ****** and I can't stand it
 
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