The new Newcastle manager sent scouts out around the world looking for a new centre forward to replace his old and decrepid players hoping to win the FA Cup. One of the scouts informs him of a Young Iraqi player who he thinks will turn out to be a true superstar.
The Gaffer flies to Baghdad to watch him and is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over.
Two weeks later Newcastle are 3-0 down to Liverpool with only 20 minutes left. The manager gives the young Iraqi lad the nod and on he goes.
The lad is a sensation, scores 4 goals in 20 minutes and wins the game for Newcastle.
The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star. When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about his first game in the FA Cup.
Hello mum, guess what?" he says. "I played for 20 minutes today, we were 3 goals down but I scored 4 and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me."
"Wonderful," says his mum, "Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were ambushed and beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters, while you were having a great time."
The young lad is very upset, "What can I say mum, but I'm so sorry."
"Sorry?!" says his mum, "You're f**king sorry???? It's your fault we moved to Newcastle in the first place!"