engish man irish man scottish man
a thread to list the ones you know
Everyone likes a good old English man Irish man and Scottish man joke.
There is a English man a Irish man and a one armed Scottish man climbing up a mountain(all on the same rope). When suddenly they slip and fall down over the rock and they are left hanging there clinging onto the rope for dear life. But then they realise that the rope they are all hanging on cannot take all of there weight. So they decide that one of them will have to let go. So they start talking about which one should live and which one should die. The English man says "I have a wife and a kid, so I really cannot just leave them". The Scottish man says "Well I have a wife and three kids and I really cannot just leave them behind". The Irish man then says "Well I guess that it is only fair that I let go of the rope". The Irish man is just preparing to let go when the Scottish man waves good bye!
There is a English man a Irish man and a Scottish man all trying out for jobs with the S.W.A.T. team. The person who is testing them says "well done on getting this far there is just one more task that you have to complete. In that room there is you wife, you have to go and shoot her dead" First of all the Scottish man went in and he stayed in there for a while but in the end he came back out and said "Look Iím sorry I just canít do it". So the bloke in charge says "well in that case you not the type of person we are looking for, Iam afraid you havenít got the job. Next he Irish man goes in, he stays in there a while and he to comes out and confesses that he just canít murder his wife, so he is sent packing. Next the English man goes in. The bloke in charge standing outside of the room hears "BANG BANG" The he hears screaming and crashing and banging. After what seems like an eternity the English man comes out and says "some idiot put blanks in the gun, so I had to beat here to death with the chair that she was sitting on!"
An English man a Irish man and a scotts man are shipwrecked on a island. When a fairy comes along and grants them each a wish. The English man says "I wish that I was off this dreaded island and back with my friends and family "So the fairy grants his wish and the next thing he knows he is back at home! Then the Scottish man says "I to wish that I was off this dreaded island" and the next thing he knows he is at home with his friends and family. Then the Irish man says "It sure is lonely around here, I wish my two friends could come back!"
There is a English man, A Scottish man and a Irish man standing at the top of a slide. Then a genie appears and says "when you go down the slide what you say is what you will land in!". So the English man jumps down the slide and says "silver" and amazingly he lands in a pot of silver. Then the Irish man jumps down the slide and says "gold" and he lands in a pot of gold. When the Scottish man jumps his so excited he says weeeeeeeee!